Forever is where we meet
by kArlITaLUna
Summary: Forever is not a word... rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."- Unknown. Full Summary inside.
1. Preface

Hey guys! thanks for checking this out! Hope you like it and if you do please review!! :D

Full Summary: "Forever is not a word... rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."- Unknown. It has often been said that one never forgets their first love. What happens when the memory of that love haunts you? Bella and Edward have spent years apart, each living a semi-contented life. When fate unexpectedly brings them together once more can they find a way to heal the wound's they've inflicted on each other and find a way to be happy again?

**Thanks to my wonderful beta kryspylove!!** Girl thanks for the support and your patience with my nagging. LOL! someone had to put up with it. I'm just glad it was you! ;)!! (awww chessy moment!) anyways on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own any twilight related characters. They all belong to SM.

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Preface

They looked into each other's eyes, a sea of emotions between them. The clash of every passionate sentiment filled the chilly air, the tension almost palpable and yet neither moved nor spoke, each waiting for the other one to begin. Edward had the strangest sense of déjà vu, as if the same thing had happened between them years ago, when the only thing he had ever wanted stood before him and broke his heart. _Would this be the same? Could I survive this once more?_ Edward thought sadly. _No, it wouldn't be the same! I won't allow her. _He steeled himself, finalizing his resolve, knowing as he did that even if it _was_ the right decision it would cause him pain.

"Edward? I..." Bella's voice trailed off, her eyes looking sad and insecure, as if she couldn't bear to look at him anymore. She broke the gaze between them and stared at her shoes. A cold breeze whipped past them, she hugged herself into the light sweater that offered little protection against the harsh Seattle weather. _Didn't she bring a jacket?_ His worry betrayed his resolve and once again he felt the need to protect her, to cross the gap between them and take her into his arms and make her warm, to kiss her like she liked to be kissed. To kiss her as only he knew how, but surely a kiss like that would only lead to more trouble, to more people getting hurt._ No_. Edward thought. Holding her right now would not help his decision become a reality. He would finish this conversation quickly so she could get to her car and hopefully not catch pneumonia on her way to it.

"I... Oh God, this is difficult". She mumbled, sighed and lifted her eyes once more to meet his. Brown and green once more reunited and Bella found the strength she needed to tell him everything she felt. _God! I love him… _She tried to convince her stupid heart that it couldn't possibly love Edward as much as it did or else she wouldn't have broken his heart. Try as she may, she never could. Her heart was set, marked forever with his memory, regardless of her actions. _I don't care if I don't deserve you! I LOVE YOU! Say it Bella! Just say it! _Her mind screamed at her but somehow the words were trapped in her throat. Getting lost in the voyage between her brain and her mouth. "I wanted to talk. About _us_." she finally said, emphasizing the word "us". Before she could open her mouth again, he quickly cut her off.

"Bella, there is really no need to discuss anything." he said in the most formal tone he could think of. _Formal is good, formal will keep this from going on to long. _"What happened before, well, we can't change that, but let's call this closure, shall we?" His face was a perfect mask of calm. _Closure? Idiot! You can never have closure! Not from her, but she doesn't have to now that. _"Let's just move forward ok? It was nice seeing you again but this can't…"

"Edward, please! Just let me explain!" Bella pleaded in a panicked voice. _No! He can't leave! He has to stay and let me explain! He has to listen to me!_ Suddenly anger shot through her and she accepted it. It was the safest feeling at this point. "You owe me this! You have to listen to me! LET ME EXPLAIN!" she shouted as she took a step forward. If he wasn't so determined not to show emotion Edward would have smirked at her stance. She was the same Bella, the little kitten who thought herself a tiger. Yes, that was _his Bella,_ even under the fancy clothes and high heels. She was still there. Just like his love for her that would be forever hidden inside him.

"I really should get going." his formal tone once more making an appearance as he took a step back from her.

Anger flooded her mind. "I should have known! Just like always! You leave!" she shouted at him, pointing to him as if accusing him of some crime.

"What?" His confused tone broke the carefully cultivated facade.

"That is what you do Edward! YOU LEAVE! Things get rough and you leave! YOU NEVER LET ME EXPLAIN! You always run away from me. WELL NOT THIS TIME! THIS TIME YOU STAY! THIS TIME YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME!" She crossed the distance between them, her index finder pointing to his chest to emphasize her anger at every "you" she yelled. "You!" she started to shout once more but this time he caught her wrist with a little too much pressure. She would have flinched at the slight pain but the adrenaline rush she felt from his touch was enough to override any discomfort. _After all this time, I still feel a shock every time he touches me._ The random thought was not lost to her mind.

Looking down at her, Edward's calm mask disappeared from his handsome features. His anger was evident from the force of his grasp on her wrist. If Bella hadn't been as determined as she was she would have been scared of him. "I. Don't. Have. To. Let you. Explain anything." he said through gritted teeth, straining with every word to contain his anger. "You and me, there is nothing to talk about. There is nothing to explain. Everything is crystal clear, just like before. You and me Bella? We're done." His voice was venomously low. If she hadn't been so close to him she was sure she wouldn't have heard. He lightly pushed her, freeing her wrist and the pain washed over her. Not from her wrist, that would be nothing more than a bruise. Her heart however, would never forget those words. Tears betrayed her now, prickling in her eyes. Waiting for her to blink so they could fall and maybe release some emotion to ease her pain. She instinctively wrapped her hand around her injured wrist as she stumbled backwards on her heels. It was a miracle didn't fall.

Suddenly Edwards face changed. From nearby he heard a loud bang but did not pay mind to it. _Idiot! You hurt her! Physically hurt her! And you say you love her. Yeah right! Thank God you love her. Just think what you could have done if you hated her…but that's just it…at that moment you did hate her. _He could never control his feelings towards her after everything that had happened between them. The fine line between love and hate was so blurry now; there was no way they would ever heal. "I'm sorry Bella, but I'm done." he said in the most apologetic voice he could manage without breaking into tears and mirroring the way she looked right now. Knowing his tears were close he quickly turned his back to her and started walking away, wetness filling his face. He made it to his third step when he realized the bang was thunder and that the water was not only tears but rain as well. It was pouring now and as he was walking away he heard her.

"Please Edward!" Bella was openly crying. "I … I won't survive this… not again…" It was hard to understand her between the sobbing and the rain. But he did, and at that moment his traitorous body stopped. His need to hold her was growing exponentially. He had to force himself to suppress his desire. _Mind over matter. Mind over matter. It's for the best. _He chanted this over and over in his head. _Ironic. _He thought about how she had voiced his earlier sentiments. _Could it be the same for her then? Not to have me in her life?_ But before he could develop the thought she spoke again.

"I STILL LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

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Thoughts?? Please Review! Feedback is always appreciated :D


	2. Chapter 1

Hey guys! thank y'all sooo much for your reviews and support

Once again a big thanks and virtual cookies to my betta: kryspylove (pinky fingers included and all)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

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**August 2014**

"Bella, I'm gonna head out now!"

Bella turned from her desk to see Richard standing there. He looked tired and his blue eyes were half lidded with dark circles under his eyes. His blonde hair was disheveled from running his hands through it.

"Ok Richard, see you tomorrow. I really am sorry for keeping you here so late." She really felt bad. They had been working non-stop for the past two days, taking occasional breaks to sleep on the office couch and eat some greasy take out.

"Don't be sorry Bella. I'm glad to be part of the project! God knows you've worked hard to get this book published and I want to help in any way possible," he said smiling warmly at her. Bella knew Richard had some ulterior motives for helping her so much. Ever since he had been hired by the owner to share her position as Editor-in-Chief he had tried non-stop to impress her in the hope of possibly dating her.

"Well, any time one of your authors screws up and you need someone to help out, just let me know! I owe you big time," Bella said. When she saw his face light up she instantly regretted the words. _Wait! No! I didn't mean it like that! Stupid Bella! He's gonna think you want to go out with him! _"You know, maybe I can get one of the authors off your back? Ease up your workload? That way we'll be even," she quickly added before he could come up with his own way for her to "make it up to him."

His face fell slightly. "Well, I was thinking along the lines of letting me invite you to dinner. I know this great place downtown where..." His voice trailed off and he ran a hand through his hair one more time, embarrassed by Bella's palpable reluctance. Bella blushed slightly. _Awkward moment! End it now! _"Thank you Richard, but I don't like to date people from work you know?" She offered him a sheepish smile and tried to look sorry although she really wasn't. "Yeah, I get it," he sighed. "Well, don't stay too late. It's already midnight and we have the press release tomorrow."

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll go over our statement, make sure it's perfect and send it to the New York office," she said, turning her back to him, a clear way of saying "_This conversation is over." _ She heard him grunt something she didn't catch and he was out the door. A few seconds later Bella allowed herself a peek over her shoulder just to make sure he was gone. With her assumptions confirmed she relaxed into her seat. _What a week! Why did I ever accept this job?_ It seemed she was asking herself that question often lately. Bella worked at an up-and-coming publishing company; Townstead Publishers. As Editor-in-Chief she also handled the marketing and distribution of new books.

After graduating from the University of Seattle with a BA in Creative Writing, Bella was sure she was going to be a writer. However, after writing a few short stories, none of which ever got published, she panicked. Imagining herself working at as a teacher in Forks, the little town she grew up in, she quickly decided to change her path. She enrolled at the University of Washington and got a MA in Literature and Language. After knocking on a few doors, she finally got a job at Townstead as an editorial assistant. At first her duties were similar to an errand girl, but after a few months she started climbing up the company ladder by proof reading drafts for grammatical mistakes. By her second year, she was promoted to editor at the company. Author's loved her insight and simple suggestions. Now at 27, you could say she has reached "success," yet most of the time she did feel something missing. She found herself constantly imagining how different her life could've turned out. Nonetheless, Bella was hardworking and had a knack for spotting stories that would surely sell, that is how she got to meet Sam Madden, the new "it" author whose novel: "Moonlight" had grazed the third spot on last year's best seller list. A sci-fi vampire romance novel that had captured the attention of the media, its sequel: "Dusk" was originally scheduled for release next year. Bella and Sam had intended to pump up the hype and boost sales so it would make it to number one. _God that plan got royally screwed! _Bella groaned as she recalled the events that had happened this past Sunday when she got a frantic phone call from Sam.

"We are fucked!" Sam yelled from her cell phone before she could even say hello. "Sam? What are you talking about," Bella inquired, a little irritated by his sudden outburst on her. "Dusk got leaked! The first 10 original chapters are on the internet right now!" he cried cursing some more and almost blowing her eardrums out at the same time. "_How?_" Bella couldn't even form a simple question. _Leaked? How? This can't be! How?_ "The best I can come up with is that when I took my laptop for maintenance at Geek Squad… those fucking Geeks must've made a copy of my files! But I never..." "You took your computer with the book in it and left it with complete strangers? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU KNOW PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF THIS BOOK!" Bella was shouting into her cell phone in anger. _How could he? It was obvious they were going to look in his files! We are ruined, the company has already spent millions on marketing and now the book is out there!_ "It wasn't the whole book," Sam defended himself. "After my laptop started freezing up whenever I wrote I saved everything onto an external hard drive. They only have 10 unedited chapters. Can we still publish?" The panic was evident in his voice as Sam began to truely understand the severity of the situation. _OK, that isn't so bad, calm down we can still salvage it!_ "OK, here's what we are going to do. I'm going to contact out lawyers so they can stop it from spreading any longer. You are going to start revising the chapters that got leaked and you are going to tell me how many changes we've made since then. I'll contact everyone for an emergency meeting in this office in one hour. DO NOT BE LATE!"

After the meeting Sam was almost in tears. His contract would be dropped if the book turned out to be a complete failure and Bella was sure to feel the consequences of this as well. Concluding it was too late to cancel, they decided on an opposite approach. Turns out, a lot of things had been changed from Sam's original drafts to the end product so they decided to change the release date to Halloween of this year. They would make a statement announcing a "big surprise" for the fans, promise a lot more than the leaked chapter could explain from the plot, and Sam would make a call for his fans to respect his work and not read the Internet files. It was a leap of faith, but they had to take it. After the meeting Bella, Sam and Richard had personally spent the last two days contacting retailers and letting them know about the change while encouraging them to order even more copies of the book. Out of this chaos they created a new marketing strategy and even booked Sam for several TV shows to explain what had happened. Tomorrow being Wednesday, a press conference would be held to announce the "good news" of the early release.

After all the stress Bella had gone through she was starting to resent her job. It wasn't that she didn't like her job, in fact, she loved it. She loved reading about new plots and stories, loved working with excited authors, helping them realize their dreams. _ What about my dream?_ In truth Bella knew her writing was not very good. Her ideas and technical skills were adequate but lacked inspiration. She could have a wonderful idea yet never find the inspiration or drive to develop or continue on with it. _I guess I can't complain. It's good money, enough to help Charlie out and get a few luxuries. Who am I kidding? I'm good at editing, not writing. _Even with those justifications, she had to admit her job did not appeal to her as much as it first did. _The novelty had to wear off someday. Maybe after the release I could go on a vacation and spend some time on my own._

BEEP. BEEP.

_God! What now?_ The text message interrupted Bella's thoughts. She started shuffling through the scattered paper work on her desk looking for her "blackberry." Once she found it the text message read:

**Don't stay up to late, and be careful it's raining pretty hard out here. **

** Richard.**

**P.S. The offer stands whenever you feel like it. See you tomorrow. **

Bella rolled her eyes. _He really doesn't give up, does he?_ Sighing she quickly replied.

**Thanks Richard, but don't hold your breath. **

** Bella.**

She knew she was being rude. _Honestly, how many times can one turn down a guy without him getting the hint?_ Exasperated, Bella decided to finish up and finally head home to get some much-needed sleep. _Its not like I've ever led him on, I mean, yes I was friendly when I "trained" him. But still! Ugh! _When Richard started working, he was brought in as the same position as her. "Moonlight" was the publishing company's first big break. They had been a little known operation, mostly statewide. Due to the novel's huge overnight success, the company gained great recognition, not to mention an incredible increase in revenue . Consequently, Townstead was now a nationally known publishing house. It's owner, Harold Townstead, was an aged man who came from old money and regarded the company a mere hobby rather than an actual job. Nevertheless, after this sudden success he decided to expand the company, signing on new authors and doubling the workload. Soon, he decided to bring in Richard, his grandson who, of course, had no money woes himself and a genuine interest in books. Mr. Townstead had instructed Bella to train Richard in the particulars of editorial activities. Afterwards, he was to take on most of the new authors that came in, but overall they would have an equal share of responsibilities.

Richard Townstead was very good at his job, a quick learner and eager to work on any project Bella threw at him. Although he preferred crime novels, he had no problem taking on a romance chick-lit book, not that Bella ever gave him one of those. Least to say, Bella was very flattered when he started showing an interest in her, showering her with compliments and non-stop dinner invitations. It became a funny occurrence amongst the other workers in the office to see the tomato-red blush on Bella's face whenever he was near. Although they shared lunch once or twice, it was never more than business talk between them. Even if they shared a common interest in literature there was just something that was not, well, engaging about him to her. _Its not that he's not attractive, he really is! _Richard had short blond hair, blue eyes, and features they were very masculine. To top it off his face was complemented by a dimpled chin. He wasn't very tall for a man but was taller than Bella, which wasn't very hard to accomplish. He didn't look especially built, but whenever he would wear polo shirts the secretaries around the office would giggle at the sight of his toned muscles. _He would be better off complementing Nadia or Cecilia, THEY would like the attention!_

BEEP. BEEP. _Stupid cell phone!_

**Lets just wait and see shall we? Good night Bella. **

** Richard.**

Huffing, Bella straightened out and threw her cell phone into her handbag without replying. _The nerve! As if I didn't know it's all about the chase. Even if I was dating, he's so not my type! I really don't feel like faking a relationship right now._ _Really_, _what's the point_? _It's not like I want to fall in love_…_more like I can't, not since… STOP! Stop that thought right there! The last thing you need to do is to think about him after all the stress this week! _"AHH!" _Too late, he's already in my mind._ Sighing, Bella rested her head in her hands. _Edward Cullen. _It had been years since she had seen him, let alone talked to him. _Nine freaking years! And you still think of him! Pathetic. _The truth was he was always in the back of her mind. Most of the time her conscious thoughts didn't register it until she caught herself acting upon some strange impulse. Just last week, before this whole book-drama started, she had been window-shopping downtown and she found herself walking into a piano store. She made a beeline for a baby grand black piano, sat herself on the bench and as her fingers grazed the keyboard his memory hit her like ice cold water.

**Summer 2004**

_"This is where DO starts..." His velvet voice hypnotized her, the sudden interest of learning to play was forgotten by the chill his breath caused when he whispered into her ear; his arms around her guiding her hands to the keyboard, making the task at hand near impossible with the distraction of his skin on hers. Bella was seated in between his legs, her back leaning casually into his chest. His hands left hers and came to rest on her waist, his thumbs lightly rubbing the fabric of her shirt. _

_Bella stroked a few keys then felt him lean over. "We've been over this three times already, I don't really think you want to learn," Edward teased her. She turned her head to look at him. _

_"Well, if you wouldn't distract me then I would've learned something by now," Bella replied, a little aggravated by this smug face. _

_"Me? Distracting? What am I doing that is so offensive to you?" he said, his green eyes full of mischief. Bella opened her mouth to reply and closed it quickly narrowing her eyes. He really wasn't doing anything out of order or ungentlemanly; she quickly straightened her posture and turned her attention to the keyboard once more. She found the blasted note and started playing the beginner scales he taught her. It really was more difficult than it looked; he always made it seem so easy. As she tried unsuccessfully to make the scales sound less strained she felt his fingers reach up her blouse, an instant shock of pleasure running through her body. Her fingers stopped playing just as his had just started. _

_"Don't stop love," his husky voice whispered in her ear. "How do you expect me to concentrate with you doing that?" she whispered, her head leaning back into his shoulder. His left hand stayed on her bare waist, while the right traveled upwards till his thumb gently brushed the underside of her breast._

_ "If you want me to stop just say so," he said as he lightly bit her earlobe. Biting her lip to stop from moaning, Bella tried to form coherent thoughts that didn't involve Edward and she playing "other" kinds of music. _

_"Esme could walk in at any second," she cried. Resolve quickly faltered when he caught her lips into his, forgetting they were in his parents house. Bella turned and locked her arms behind his neck giving in completely. _

_A few blissful minutes later they heard someone coming down the stairs. Frantically they disentangled themselves and Edward stood back from the bench just in time to see Emmett walk into the living room. Giving them a knowing look he smirked and said "Bella! I didn't know you were here! What were you guys doing?" Emmett was grinning like a maniac and Bella felt herself blush but before she could think the answer through she replied "Edward's teaching me to play the piano!" _

_"Really? I could have sworn I didn't hear any music, but I did hear..."_

_"That's none of your concern brother dearest," Edward quickly interrupted. "Wasn't Rosalie expecting you?" Even Bella could hear the warning in his tone. Emmett's laughter filled the room, unconcerned by Edward's threat. "You're right bro. Well, I'm off for some piano playing of my own!" he guffawed before Edward could say anything else and ran out the room._

**August 2014**

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A friendly voice interrupted Bella from her memories. She looked up to see a sales associate smiling at her. "Yes, yes it is."_ I have to get out of here!. _"Would you like to play something to test run it," the man asked her. "I…never really learned, I'm sorry." And with that she quickly bolted out of the store and headed straight for her car, not really caring that she must've looked like a deranged person.

_You really have to stop this! It's been long enough._ She rubbed her hands on her face. If possible, she felt even more drained and yawning loudly she tucked the last of her papers into her messenger bag, turned off her computer and stood up from her desk. _God, I'm tired! I don't think I'll even make it to my bed, I'll just drop on the couch and sleep.!_ Shifting her thoughts to much safer topics, she ran a list in her head regarding her tasks, prioritizing, and planning. _I need to go to Forks this weekend, get some groceries for Charlie, damn I also need to do laundry, well I can do that at Charlie's._ As soon as her office and the department's main door were locked she quickly strolled down the garage parking lot and got into her car. Her eyes were heavy and she had trouble keeping them open; She promised herself she would never go more than 2 days without sleeping again and pulled out of the garage into the rainy streets.

After 5 minutes of maneuvering her car on the slippery roads, she came to the realization that her senses were a bit dulled from exhaustion. _Maybe I should pull over? Nah, the apartment's not that far away. Fifteen minutes Bella, you can stay awake for fifteen minutes. _Fighting her instincts, Bella drove a little faster than usual, reasoning that it would take less time to get to her apartment. The rain started to fall harder. _Damn Seattle weather_. _Really Bella! You're exhausted! No book is worth this aggravation._ Bella pondered this as she flew through the deserted streets.

Then it happened.

Diminished visibility through the windshield from the rain, combined with her blunted senses and her distraction made it almost impossible for her to see the red light she was about to dismiss. Once it registered in her mind that red meant stop, she slammed the breaks without thinking and instantly regretted it. As soon as her foot hit the pedal the car spun wildly out of control, the sudden action instantly sobering her up. In a vain attempt to control the vehicle she whipped the wheel the other way but it was no use; the car was already turning on its own. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion; she could hear the tires screeching against the road and hear the splash the water made, she felt the car spinning and became dizzy. Horrified, she realized she was about to slam into a street light pole. Before impact, Bella threw her arms up around her face and head, letting go of the steering wheel. At that moment, in complete contrast to a few seconds ago time appeared to fast-forward now and a million thoughts ran through her head all at once. Ramblings of unimportant issues. Her apartment. The publishing house. The laundry that was never going to get done. Then, amidst the chaos of her thoughts rose true concerns. Charlie, and how she never told him how much he meant to her. Jacob, their most recent fight. Angela, her new baby whom she would never get to meet. Renee, her estranged mother with whom she hadn't spoken to almost as long as Edward. And Edward. _Oh, Edward!_ The unrequited love she _still_ felt for him and how she wished with _all _of her heart that he would be in her life. Despair washed over her, promptly followed by a deafening crash.

Desperation.

Grief.

PAIN.

After that, everything went black.

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bits lip nerviously sooo what do you guys think overall?

what do you think will happen i love any theories you may have.

sooo please hit the button below and review! it really inspires me to upload and write faster! :D!!

SO DON'T FORGET

V review!!

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	3. Chapter 2

Hey guys!! sorry it took so long to update but what can i say?? life gets in the way :P

once again huge thanks to my beta : **kryspylove**

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

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**August 2014 **

"So I set my foot down and told him I wouldn't tolerate any more tardiness," Tanya's voice rambled on his cell phone.

"I swear Edward, some of these designers think they are so "it" they can even make Runway Magazine wait, when really they would be nothing without us."

Edward couldn't help but chuckle at the trivial issues his girlfriend faced everyday. "How exactly did you manage that?" he couldn't help teasing her. _Really, I can imagine the poor guy's face after Tanya was done with him. _

"Oh, easily enough. I told him to stop fucking with my time and that I could easily replace his collection with Alice Brandon's new winter line." Tanya's musical laugh made him sure the designer had not liked that comment at all.

"And I'm sure that shut him up," Edward said into his cell phone. Leaning back into his couch, his long legs propped up on the center table of his living room, he picked up the remote control and flicked through the TV channels looking for something entertaining as he talked with Tanya.

"You bet it did," she answered back proudly, not realizing Edward's lack of interest in the conversation as she continued. "Really babe, all I have to do is mention your sister's name and every designer crawls drop down with his tail between his legs. I wish I could've shown you his face!" Edward couldn't help but join her laughter. Alice's success in the fashion industry was well documented and her friendship with Tanya was beneficial to both of them.

"Well I'm glad you showed him what you're made of," he said proudly.

Tanya was a bombshell with strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect features and a model-like body. Everyone always mistook her for a dumb blonde when in reality she was one of the most intelligent woman he had ever met; she was driven and almost as tenacious as Rosalie. _I'll never understand why they don't get along, maybe because they are so similar._

Tanya worked at Runway Magazine as part of the crew in charge of booking designers for the fashion shoots. She always had very amusing stories about the latest celebrity tantrum, it wasn't the sort of thing Edward was interested in, but it was her line of work and he was happy to make her happy. _Even if I have to listen to an unimportant rambling about the latest ex-addict new pop sensation who tries her hand at fashion. _

After going through the channels two times Edward decided to discuss more important, but not very pleasant matters. "So I talked to Esme, and she asked if it was too early for us to reserve Thanksgiving so we could go to Forks." Edward tried to sound nonchalant about it, however he knew that Tanya did not want to come to Washington this year. Turning off the TV he sat up on the couch waiting for the inevitable confrontation he knew was coming from the deep silence on the other line.

"I thought you where coming to New York this year." Her tenor instantly changed, it was like a switch had been flicked, the tone of the conversation changing instantly.

"Well no, I never said..." Edward started in a calm voice before being cut off by her angry cry.

"YES! Yes, you did!" she stopped, taking a few breaths to calm herself before continuing.

"Edward, we've spent the last 2 years in Forks, maybe it's time we spend holidays on my end of the world," she cried into the line.

"I thought you would come here for a change, and maybe you could take a week so we can look into the fellowship programs here," Tanya pleaded, no longer angry but frustrated with him.

"Tanya, we never decided anything on Thanksgiving, it's not like your parents will be there in New York," Edward sighed, suddenly feeling very guilty for monopolizing their relationship. _Maybe it's time I make a little effort, sure we can spend the holidays with her family._

"If you want to we can go to Alaska..."

She interrupted him again, her shouting made him move the cell phone away from his sensitive ears. "The reason I want you to come is so we can start looking at apartments and maybe you can request some interviews at Mount Sinai or Presbyterian! Edward they are just as well-recognized as Virginia Mason and after we get married..."

"We never said I was going to choose New York!" This time he cut her off, his voice rose with every word. _Didn't I make it clear that I had a great opportunity at Virginia Mason? If she thinks I'm just going to give it up… _

"Well, that's the problem! EVERY FUCKING TIME I MENTION IT YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! She screamed and Edward thought his eardrums might bleed; he could hear her panting and tried to stay quiet to control his anger.

"I don't think this is the sort of conversation we should have over the phone," he started calmly hoping she wouldn't go into another outburst. _The sooner this conversation is over the happier we'll both be. _

"You're right," she paused and then continued, "Listen, I'm sorry. How about you tell Esme we'll think about it and talk it over when I come to visit in two weeks?" Edward couldn't help but feel guilty at her defeated tone. _Shit. I'm an asshole; I make things harder for her than it has to be. _

"Ok, sounds good… I'm sorry too," he added quickly.

"Edward, we also need to talk about starting the wedding plans and where we're going to have it," she said tentatively. Edward growled instinctively. _So much for ending the conversation._

"What? We need to discuss that soon, and just for the record it would be easier if you bothered to come to New York every once in a while. Believe it or not it's not exactly my idea of a fun time to spend entire days at the airport every other month," her tone dripped with sarcasm, "More so, when you can't take the God damn time to do the same!"

_And she's yelling again, doesn't she get that my job is not exactly 9-5?_ Edward rolled his eyes, "We've been over this, and I can't just leave every other weekend, not in my last year when they evaluate me for full-time positions," he hissed.

"I'm not asking for you to come at my every whim, but it would be nice..."

BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.

_Saved by the bell. _Edward thought as he heard Tanya mutter something that sounded a lot like "_every fucking time" _

"Listen, I'm sorry but I have to go," he said hoping she wouldn't make another fight out of it.

"I know," she hissed. "But this conversation isn't over Edward; We WILL talk about all of this when I get to Seattle." Her attitude made it evident there was no escape.

Edward contained himself before growling again and nodded before realizing she wasn't there to see him. "Yeah. Talk to you later okay?" and before she could respond he hung up not bothering to say goodbye.

_Dammit. I'll pay for that later, but really! What does she expect from me?_

_Well, that you actually act like her fiancé, moron! _"Fuck!" he said exasperated, throwing his cell phone on the sofa and pinching the bridge of his nose. _Well, I guess the sooner we talk about this the better._

BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZ.

His pager went off again at the same time his cell phone announced a text-message. _Tanya again._ Deciding on the lesser of two evils, he stood up and headed for the kitchen where he had left the pager, leaving his cell phone on the sofa.

Once retrieved, the demanding device on the kitchen counter read:

**RN. Andrea McLaggen. 206-334-8459**

He quickly picked up the kitchen phone and dialed the number for the nurse's station.

"Surgical ICU!" Andrea's familiar voice answered.

"Hello Nurse McLaggen, this is Edward Cullen. You paged me?" he answered politely. He had always liked Andrea McLaggen. She was a kind elderly nurse who had guided Edward since his first year at the hospital. She always helped him correct his mistakes on charts, taught him a lot about bedside manners and kept him on his toes, which only made him become a better doctor. It was because of her that Edward had such a high respect for nurses, unlike some of his colleges. _Assholes, they don't realize how lost we'd be without them. _

"Dr. Cullen!" she breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh dear, Dr. Owens just called in sick and I have no one to cover the surgical floor and the ER for the night. I'm sorry to bother you Edward, but I already called Dr. Veale and she can't make it!" The pitch of her voice was slightly panicked.

"No problem, I can come in," he assured her. _The night shift isn't as busy and I'll be able to catch up on post-op paperwork. _

"Are you sure darling?"

He glanced at his wristwatch. _6:15, I can take a quick shower and get there in 30 minutes._ "Yes, don't worry, I'll be there at 7 on the dot."

"Thank you Doctor. I promise to make it up you when I do next week's rotation for the Chief." He could sense her smiling.

"How 'bout you give me a weekend off in two weeks?" Edward suggested. _Maybe I can get the weekend off, make it up to Tanya. _

"Ah, is your pretty girlfriend coming to town?" She teased.

"Yes M'am, she is," he said in cherry voice; he knew Andrea would never say no if he put on the girlfriend card. Along with her mother and sisters, she seemed to think Edward was lonely and thrived whenever she heard about Tanya coming to visit.

"I'll schedule it right now then. Thanks again Dr. Cullen!" She exclaimed triumphant.

"Really M'am, its okay, it'll even help me on this year's evaluations," he added before ending the conversation.

As soon as he finished with his shower he packed his scrubs and a change of clothes. As he was heading out the door he remembered to take his cell phone. Recalling Tanya's message he strode over to the living room and checked the text.

_**Love you too sweetheart**_**.**

**Tanya.**

The sarcasm was undeniable and Edward genuinely thanked his lucky stars that she wouldn't come over for another week so they could have time to cool off. After closing up his apartment he quickly headed to the hospital for the night shift.

Edward loved his job; he was finishing up his residency as a general surgeon at Virginia Mason Medical Center, one of the best hospitals in the country. He had decided to stay as a general surgeon, that way he would get to practice a little bit of every field of medicine. Carlisle had been very proud when Edward told him he would share his field of study and Edward knew he and Esme had hoped that he would decide to stay in Seattle instead of exploring his options elsewhere.

Edward had graduated from Dartmouth in only 3 years, one year earlier than normal with outstanding grades and more than few recommendations from his professors. He had devoted himself entirely to his studies, taking full loads of classes every semester and even summers. That made it extremely easy for him to go on to the medical program. He had met Tanya during his graduate years; she was doing her MA in Arts, but she always knew she was going to end up in fashion. They met at a little café on campus where Edward used to go to study. When she had come up to him and asked for his number, he was taken aback by her blunt display but nonetheless immediately felt an attraction towards her. They dated for a few weeks before making it official and Tanya had become a constant in his life, providing a different contrast to the all the studying he had subjected himself to.

His relationship with Tanya had been great then; she was beautiful, persuasive, and Edward could tell she was very much in love with him. They didn't have much in common; it was actually very difficult to find things that they would like together. While he enjoyed indie, jazz, and classical music, she couldn't be bothered with it, opting for the latest pop hit. Whenever his studies let him he would enjoy himself reading a book or watching some documentary on the TV, while Tanya would prefer magazines and thought documentaries where the dullest thing ever. _Well they say opposites attract. _Edward chuckled whenever he thought of that silly phrase.

While it was evident that Tanya was in love with Edward, to an outsider it wouldn't seem Edward shared the same feelings. At best, he could be described as attentive to her in public, and most of Tanya's friends complained that he was cold to her. _I just don't wear my heart in my sleeve. Well, not anymore._ He did love Tanya. Maybe his affection took a little more time to develop than hers did. But he really did love her; he liked having her in his life and if he was honest with himself, he liked the idea of being loved.

After both of them graduated Tanya got an opportunity for an internship at Runway Magazine as the personal assistant to the Chief-Editor. As quickly as her position was secured she pressed Edward to apply to an internship at NYU. He had graduated with high honors with his MD, least to say, he could internship anywhere he pleased but decided NYU wouldn't be as bad because he had Tanya with him.

She had been ecstatic. Edward had never seen her as happy as the year they were together in New York. She finally had her dream job, and he was quickly getting used to life in the big city. He was pleased that everything was turning out so well, then again, he could never quite shake the feeling that something was not right. He was content with his life and in theory he was getting everything he always wanted, his medical degree, a good woman who loved him, and because of his birth parents, he never had to worry about money issues. Yet, while watching Tanya's happiness he could help but know that he never truly felt that happy. _Not really happy since the last summer in Forks. _His mind would always remind him.

It wasn't until Christmas of that year that Edward knew what he was missing. His family was going to spend the holidays with them in New York. Edward had been beside himself with joy. Because of his obsession with school Edward hadn't seen much of his family in 7 years. Sure, they would spend an odd weekend here and there in New Hampshire when he was at Dartmouth but never enough for him to feel the difference. That year the Cullen's had spent two blissful weeks visiting them, Carlisle having earned his vacation time after so many years at Fork's hospital; in that visit Edward realized how much he had missed his family.

Spending time with Emmet and Jasper, bickering with Rosalie, sharing with Alice new findings in music, having Esme take care of him and Carlisle to talk to had alerted Edward that his family was what was missing in his life. Ever since Edward's parents died and he had been placed in the home of the Cullen's, Edward had never once felt more at home with them than in the house full of adopted children. Carlisle and Esme were the perfect role models and his brothers and sisters the best company in the world. Tanya had been amazed at Edward's change in personality from an introverted silent man to the laughing sarcastic man-boy that came out when his family was near.

After they left and "normalcy" was starting to settle in again, Edward decided what he wanted to do. He researched for hospitals in Seattle that were only 2 hours from Forks, deciding that he wanted to be near his family. He had called Carlisle and asked him if he had any contacts at Virginia Mason that he could talk to about offering him a position in their residency program. Carlisle happily obliged, and by the time his internship year was over he had a secure spot at Virginia Mason.

Edward had kept most of his plans under wraps from Tanya; he didn't know how to approach her with his request and he didn't want to break things with her but he had no option. So two months before his secret move to Seattle he finally got the courage to tell her. Needless to say, the conversation had been very unpleasant, she had been mad and hurt and Edward felt guilty for being so selfish. After much drama and crying they made a compromise to try to work on a long-distance relationship.

Now they were going on 4 years. Amazingly so, it was very easy for Edward to adjust to the change. He had the best of both worlds, he was the best of the fellow residents at Virginia Mason's, he had his family, and every other month he got to see his girlfriend. He was very content with the arrangement, and Tanya didn't complain. _At first. _Until last Xmas when she was staying with him that the word "marriage" popped up. She started questioning their relationship and Edward was sure she was about to end it.

**December 2013**

"I want to know how you see yourself. No, let me rephrase that, I want to know how you see _us_ in the future?" she had asked when they drove back from a weekend with his parents.

"What do you mean?" he asked, completely puzzled.

"Well Edward, don't you think its time we took the next step?" her tone was guarded.

Edward was confused as to what step she was talking about. He was completely comfortable with their situation and the only thing that could change it was if they weren't together anymore.

"I'm not sure I'm following you."

"Well, don't you ever think about marriage?" she asked exasperated.

Edward froze instantly. _Marriage. _In all honesty, Edward hadn't thought about that in years, the only girl he ever wanted to marry was Bella Swan, and that relationship didn't work out. _Ha! That's the understatement of the century. More like crashed and burned. _He thought bitterly. Tanya had seen Edward's scolding face and hesitated to break the ill silence that filled the vehicle.

"Edward? Don't you want to marry me?" she asked, fear in her voice.

He chose his words carefully.

"It's not that, it's just, I don't really think about marriage." He tried to sound natural, as if they were talking about the weather.

"Well I do." Her voice was back to her usual self, as if she had grown more confident with the situation. Edward wandered how long had she been wanting to talk about this.

Edward stayed silent while he pondered the issue. _Well it's natural; we're both of a certain age. We have been together longer than most marriages now a days, Hell! It's even longer than the time I spent with Bella. _He stopped that thought immediately and then he realized, what he felt for Tanya was nothing compared to the passion he once felt for his high-school sweetheart. _I knew I wanted to marry Bella since our first conversation, and look how good that turned out! Maybe this isn't a bad thing. Things with Tanya have always been more careful, and careful is good. Sure, maybe the thought of marrying her never occurred to me until this moment but how bad could it be? _He glanced over at Tanya who was now looking at the window. _Probably wondering what to say next. She is beautiful and smart, and she has put up with more than any other girl could. Maybe we can work this out after all. _

"Well, maybe we should." He said in an even tone.

Tanya's head jerked so fast he though for a second her neck might crack, her eyes were wide and she looked at a loss for words. _Maybe she was expecting more of a fight. _Edward thought sadly.

"What?" She finally asked surprised.

"Well, if you want to, then maybe we should get married," he simply said glancing at her, but not really taking his eyes of the road. In his peripheral vision he could see a huge smile on her face and she looked teary-eyed. Out of nowhere she flung herself across the seat and hugged him, shrieking like a schoolgirl and making the car swerve a little bit with her sudden movements.

That night they made love until the sun came up and Tanya's happiness transferred over to Edward; the more he thought about it, more he grew to like the idea of having her around more. By the time she had to go back to New York, she had a shiny new ring to show off and they had talked about a long engagement with the date pending on Edward finishing his residency.

**August 2014**

For a few months, Tanya was content with just being engaged but around May the issue of setting a date had become a constant fight between them. In all honestly Edward hadn't thought much of the consequences of getting married to a woman who had a job and a life in the other side of the country. Needless to say, Tanya wanted Edward to move back to New York, and Edward didn't. He tried to avoid the conversation as much as he could, telling himself he would deal with it when his residency was over and the time for full-time position interviews came. This was his last year, and once again his drive to be the best offered him countless opportunities for permanent jobs but he was happy in Seattle and wanted to stay in Virginia Mason.

_Maybe I should stop being so selfish and start compromising more. _Edward thought as he parked his car and headed for the locker rooms of the hospital. Feeling very guilty he decided to call Tanya.

She answered immediately.

"Hello?'' she answered and he could tell she was still livid.

"Hey, its me," he said sheepishly.

"I know, what do you want?" she said curtly.

"To tell you I'm a jerk."

She laughed, the mood lightened instantly. "I know, but I love you," she teased.

"I love you too." He smiled.

"Go save some lives, I'll see you in two weeks."

"Ok. I'll make it up to you, have a good night," he told her lovingly.

"You too, bye babe."

Feeling lighter after patching up things with Tanya, Edward changed into his scrubs and headed to find Andrea and get filled in on tonight's duties. Hoping he would work out his issues with Tanya soon, he felt his resolve strengthened as it usually did when things with Tanya were good.

Little did Edward know that his resolve was about to make a major blow.

* * *

so this is what our dear Edward has been up to...

kindof a filler chapter but it had to be done. But dont worry there will be some Bella/Edward interaction next chapter!! :D

so you know the drill!! review!! it really inspires me to write :D!!


	4. Chapter 3

Hey guys!! here's the next chapter! :D I'm so happy with the response I've had for this story!! Thank you to everyone that has been reviewing! I really try to answer and thank everyone who reviews!! YOU GUYS ROCK!

You know who else makes my day a brighter day?? My lovely beta: **kryspylove**! thank you girl!

and on my new team of favorite people a million thanks to **MrsC**, over at the twilighted forums, who made the beautiful banner you can see in my profile page!! go check it out :D!!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

ohhhh and before I forget: **O-M-G!!** the new twilight trailer!! swoons

jajajaj carry on...

* * *

**August 2014.**

Edward's shift had been slow and after Nurse McLaggen had given him the charts and debriefed him on each patient on the floor she left him in charge for the night. He only had two interns this night and the normal night staff. He did his rounds, supervised an intern when she was replacing some bandages, then started catching up on post-op paperwork and charts. By the time he got to his last two charts he had a faint headache and his stomach growled.

_Should've eaten something before leaving the apartment. _Edward looked at the time-_ 10:52. If I run I can get something from the cafeteria before they close up. _

Taking the charts with him, he quickly went down to the basement cafeteria where the staff was cleaning the tables and the clerk was closing up the register.

"Hey Mr. Wallace, could I grab something real quick? I'm dying here," Edward pleaded to the familiar gentleman.

"Sure Dr. Cullen, but I think all we have left are some tuna sandwiches on the fridge. They're yours if you want them," Tony Wallace said with a smile as he counted the money.

"Thanks, how much do I owe you?" he said as he put the charts on the counter and headed for the cooler.

"On the house."

"Thanks!" Edward smiled nodding. He grabbed the last sandwich before going to nearest vending machine for a drink. He had developed a good relationship with most of the staff at the hospital. Nothing less would be expected from someone raised by Elizabeth Masen and Esme Cullen. He was always polite and friendly towards his fellow co-workers and the staff liked him because he was less conceited than most of the Doctors working there.

"So, how's the family?" he asked, genuinely interested as he leaned his arms on the counter.

"Wonderful. Beth started college this year, we're so proud! The wife is missing her like crazy," Tony chuckled, "Beth gets ticked off when Mary calls her 3 times a day"

"I know what you mean, my mom called me every chance she got during my first year away from home," Edward replied. _Although Esme was more concerned for my mental stability than me being away from home. _

"Yup, don't even want to think what'll happen when it's Jimmy's turn," Tony said shaking his head as he finally closed the register and walked to the other side of the counter.

"Well, my mom started doing all these community activities when we all went to college, to keep herself busy you know," Edward shrugged. "My dad made a habit of taking her out every chance he got so she wouldn't feel neglected."

"I guess that's a good idea, it'll help evade that _nest _thing, what's it called?"

"Empty-nest syndrome," Edward answered as he opened his tea and took a sip.

"Yeah, that's the thing! Thanks for the advice Edward," he said, patting his back, "need anything else?"

"No Sir, thank you again for the tuna," he replied genuinely.

"Don't mention it kiddo. See you around, goodnight."

After bidding goodnight to the middle-aged man, Edward went to the tables and sat down to eat. The cleaning lady Mrs. Estelle was changing the channels of the big plasma TV on the cafeteria wall. She took a sideways glance at Edward.

"Anything you wanna see dear?" the short, plump woman asked him.

"No M'am, I'm OK," Edward replied as he took another bite of his dinner.

Estelle settled for the Food Network where some weird guy with fake-blonde hair was eating a very greasy hamburger from a diner. When he finished, he cleaned up the trash and settled back into the table. He took the beeper out from his pocket and decided to stay down for a little while enjoying the loneliness of the deserted area. When he finally finished with the charts he looked around and saw that Estelle had gone as well. A Mexican cooking show was on the TV and a woman was making _enchiladas._ All of a sudden a memory made its way to his mind.

**Spring 2005**

Bella's laughter filled the kitchen as an annoyed Edward moved to stop the blender that had unexpectedly gone berserk, spilling its contents all over the kitchen tile and his shirt. When the offending machine stopped, he threw an angry look at Bella who was now clutching her sides, doubled over in laughter, trying very unsuccessfully to stop.

"I'm sorry," she managed to say in between chuckles. "It's just, I told you not to fill it up to the top," she said as she straightened up to give him an apologetic look. Well, as apologetic as she could with her face being as red as it was and her lips pursed to avoid more giggling.

Edward scowled, looking down at his ruined shirt. "Ok, ok, you did! Now will you help me clean this up?" _Harsh much Edward? I didn't mean to be rude, but she's not helping! _

"Aw, don't be grouch. You're the one who didn't want any help," Bella teased as she took some towels out from under her sink.

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to do something nice for your dad," Edward pouted, watching Bella clean up the mess. _Is that why he wanted to make dinner? Why is he acting so strange lately? _She turned to look at him, crossing her arms.

"Edward, what's this about? Why are you trying to impress Charlie?"

"I just want to be in your dad's good graces," he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it.

"Ok, but WHY?" Bella pressed, as she moved closer to Edward, lifting his chin so their eyes could meet.

He sighed. "Ok, well, I would like him to LIKE us being together. I know he doesn't like me being around so much, and maybe, if I did something nice for him, he would like me being around more than _Jacob,_" Edward finished and Bella was very aware of the anger in his voice as he pronounced her best-friend's name.

_Wow, an insecure Edward. Never thought I'd see the day. _Sadness and amazement filled Bella's features. "Since when have you thought that?" All laughter had left her voice.

"Just, for a while," he shrugged, looking away from her once more. _Damn it. Shouldn't have said that. _

"Edward, are you jealous of Jacob?" Bella grasped his arms in an attempt to make him look at her again.

"No! Of course not!" he cried, sounding outraged. _Not all the time anyways. _He saw Bella smile. "What?"

"Oh Edward! You ARE jealous." She couldn't help it, and hugged him. Most of the time Bella felt that she loved Edward much more than he loved her. She was always reminded how out of her league he was whenever prettier girls flirted with him. Also, it never helped that Lauren and Jessica made not so subtle comments about the miracle that their relationship was. But seeing this little display of insecurity made Bella believe that maybe he did love her as much as she loved him.

"And that's a good thing?" he said returning her hug, putting his chin on top of her head, breathing in her scent. _I love the way she smells; she has no idea how appealing she is. I can't help it if I know that kid is always drooling on her. _

Bella chuckled into his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "Silly Edward, why would you be jealous of Jacob when I'm so desperately, insanely, head over heels in love with you?"

He smiled, hugging her closer. No matter how insecure he was feeling, the only thing she had to do was smile the way he knew she only smiled at him and he could never deny her love for him.

"And besides, it's not that my dad doesn't like you," she said, looked up at him. "He's just very reserved, and Jacob is more like the son he never had. It's nothing against you really," she tried to be reassure him.

"I know love," he said as he kissed her forehead. "I also wanted to ask him if we could go to Phoenix this long weekend, you know, to visit Renee. You still haven't used the tickets Esme got you for your birthday."

Bella tensed up. Carlisle and Esme had gotten her airline tickets and she still felt uncomfortable with the expensive gift, she had hoped she could return them but they were non-refundable. _Well, I really do miss my mom; maybe it's a good idea. _

"Bella." Edward warned her. _Damn, I swear he can always tell what's going on in my head, almost as if he reads my mind. _

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea." She uneasily smiled at him.

"Bella, really it's no big deal. Esme will be more hurt if you don't use them." He threw her a stern look.

"Ok Edward, just promise me you'll stop them from buying me stuff this year, really, the tickets and the stereo were enough for a while," she pleaded with him. They had spent a year together and Edward still couldn't understand why Bella felt so awkward whenever his family gave her stuff. _She just about freaked at her "surprise" birthday party last year, well, I guess Alice did go over the top a little and Bella still cringes when she remembers what happened. _

He recalled Bella's 18th birthday party and how she had been so embarrassed by all the attention; it had made her even clumsier than usual. She had constantly tripped over her own feet and Edward had to catch her every time. After opening the presents, Bella stayed beet-red for the rest of the evening, thanking Carlisle and Esme profusely for their lavish gift. While Edward went to get some plates for the cake, disaster struck. Bella had tried to escape from Alice, who was trying to make her wear a birthday crown when she tripped. With no one there to catch her, she somehow bumped into Rosalie, who lost her balance as well and fell into the two-tiered cake Alice had ordered. When Edward stepped back into the living room he saw Bella flat on her face with Alice beside her, trying to pick her up. Emmett and Jasper were helping Rosalie out of the sea of meringue, while Carlisle and Esme tried not to laugh. Later in the evening, after Rosalie had gone to her room and didn't come back, Bella made Alice and Edward promise never to throw her a party ever again.

This time Edward laughed. "Hey, I already promised no more parties, I draw my line there."

Bella gasped and stepped away from his embrace, mockingly slapping his arm. "Look at me, now I'm covered in sauce!" she cried, trying to change the subject. Her white t-shirt was now covered in red chili-pepper sauce.

"You're the one that hugged me," he teased, pointing at his stained blue button down shirt.

"Ok, lets put these in the washer before Charlie comes home, and I'll help you make the _enchiladas,_" Bella said as she took off her shirt, revealing a simple white cotton bra. Edward's eyes widened at the sight of her. _Dear lord, is she trying to kill me by taking her clothes off just like that?_

"Edward, don't be such a prude," Bella said, slightly embarrassed by his gawking eyes. "It's nothing you haven't seen before," she huffed, turning away to the laundry room, escaping from his stare.

He followed her like a man possessed, thinking only of his need to feel her close and touch her. She stood in front of the washer, setting the water temperature and throwing her shirt in. Bella could feel his hot breath behind her, and gasped when his cold fingers brushed her hair away from her shoulders and his nose traced a line on the back of her neck. She felt goose bumps when his other hand lightly touched her back.

"I could see you every day and still be dumbfounded by your beauty," he murmured, giving feather-like kisses to her shoulder. _God, she's so soft, I can't get enough of her. _

Bella's breathing had increased so much she though she was about to faint; her heart was beating a thousand times a minute and she didn't care. She knew exactly what Edward meant; although they had been intimate for some time now, she still felt butterflies every time she felt him touch her. _Will I ever stop melting when he touches me? Hell, I hope not! _

"Really Edward, you're so biased. I know better than to believe you," she said. Trying to recompose herself, she turned to face him. "We have to put this in, before the stain sets." Bella tried to be serious but her voice wavered. She tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to stop her hands from trembling as she unbuttoned his shirt. _Really, she only cares about laundry? Well, let's see about that._ Edward thought to himself.

Edward stopped her hands and unbuttoned the shirt himself. Bella's eyes widened and she looked up to see him smiling at her. _God, that crooked smile, I swear he's trying to kill me! Does he even know how sexy he looks when he does that? It's not fair. _She couldn't break their gaze, not even when she was vaguely aware that he had already removed his shirt and thrown it in the washer.

Bella gasped when Edward stepped so close their chests were pressed against each other; he moved one arm around her and leaned forward. _God yes, kiss me! _She thought as she closed her eyes and waited for the kiss she knew would make her knees weaken. Just then, Edwards chuckled as he passed her lips and bent his head to look at the controllers of the washer. Then, his hand was closing the door and turning the machine on.

Bella was confused for a moment. _Wait? What? _She gasped, "You tease! I can't believe you," she yelled at his laughing form. She pushed him back and tried to leave the little room, feeling her face hot with rage. _Stupid smartass sexy jerk! _ Before she could pass the threshold, he grabbed her arm and spun her around, crashing his lips into hers as Bella's knees went weak.

His lips were so soft as they danced with hers; it started slowly but quickly escalated. Edward hugged her close and she didn't protest the feeling of his chest pressing against her breasts; it was incredible. She teased his lower lip with hers, trailing her tongue and biting him slightly, he moaned into her mouth as she let his tongue massage hers. Edward's hands trailed her back desperately, eager to touch as much of her skin as possible. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down, moaning into his mouth.

Edward suddenly grabbed her ass and pulled her up as she simultaneously wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding herself against him in pure instinct. _Holy shit, She knows I lose it when she moves like that! I need her now._ Edward moaned frantically.

She hazily felt him turn around and seat her on top of the washer, raising her to meet his eyes. Bella's eyes were filled with lust and only Edward could recognize the light change in color; they turned from a light hazel to a deep rich brown color when she was aroused. It was this moment that Edward knew that he never wanted anyone else in this world to notice that change in her, it wasn't some possessive need not to share her, more than it was the knowledge that he could never survive without that color in her eyes. _She is my everything. _

It was almost as if Bella shared his epiphany. "No one will ever compare to you. You are my everything Edward, please believe me," she whispered with a tiny smile. He reciprocated by kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her jaw, inching slowly towards her neckline and shoulders.

Bella closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the sheer love he was emanating with every kiss. _What did I ever do to deserve him? I don't care, I'm selfish and I want to keep him forever, I love him. _

He unhooked her bra and slowly removed it. Bella's hands were frozen on his shoulders and Edward smirked as he saw her blush.

"I love that you still blush when I look at you." His voice was husky; his hands closed on her breasts, kneading them. Bella lost control; her hands raked his naked torso, feeling the toned muscles whilst kissing his neck. She unbuckled his belt and pants with a practiced ease and Edward gasped as her warm slender fingers dipped into his boxers and grasped his fully erect member. _Oh dear God! That feels amazing. _

He could feel her smiling against his chest as his breathing became more erratic as she gently squeezed his length up and down and her tongue teased his nipples. Edward growled, grabbing a handful of her hair and pulled her head back to capture her lips once more. He mimicked her movements; his hands drifted down the waistband of her sweatpants, under her cotton panties. His fingers slipped between her legs, teasing her opening, sliding down her folds and up to her clit. _Fuck! She's already wet for me!_

"Oh, Edward," Bella moaned, throwing her head back. Releasing his cock, her passion overtook her. Edward moved to kiss her breasts, sucking her nipples.

"Bella, I need you now," he growled into her skin.

"Take me Edward, please!"

He needed no more permission. She lifted her hips slightly as Edward tugged her sweatpants down her legs. Bella noticed the coldness of the machine on her skin but that didn't stop her as she pushed his boxers halfway down his legs with hers. He helped by slipping out of his clothing completely. They took a moment to look at each other's naked bodies before Edward kissed her lips once again.

"I love you Edward," she said as her eyes met his dazzling green orbs.

"I love you too, Bella," Edward whispered, planting a kiss on her forehead.

He stepped between her open legs as Bella lifted her hands to grasp his bronze hair. He lifted her legs to his waist and entered her in one swift movement.

_Home._

Edward held her close, sliding in and out of her slowly. _Easy, take your time. _Even if it wasn't their first time together, he knew that it still took some time for her to adjust to him. He felt her lock her ankles behind his waist and move her hips towards him.

"Harder," she pleaded.

Her voice was the sexiest thing Edward had ever heard and he grunted, losing any control he possessed. He moved his hands to her ass and forcefully pushed into her.

"Bella," he moaned. It was the only word his thoughts could process.

She was bracing herself against his shoulders and meeting his pace, pushing her hips towards him, guided by his hands on her bottom. They met each thrust in complete unison. Both screaming each other's names, racing to release. Edward pumped mercilessly in and out of her and Bella knew it wouldn't be long before he finished.

"Please Edward, make me _come,_" she breathed into his ear.

He gladly granted help by moving a hand between them and using his thumb, rubbed her clit furiously.

"_Come_ for me love"

His hoarse tone did it; Bella shrieked, throwing her head back. Edward felt her shudder under him, her folds milking his orgasm. He rode out her orgasm almost immediately before giving in to his own pleasure, releasing himself in her.

They were both trying to catch their breath, Bella's chin rested on his shoulder, her arms around him, her breasts still pressed to him. His hands moved from her ass to the small of her back keeping her close. Without thinking, Edward spoke the first thought that came to his mind.

"Marry me."

**August 2014**

"Dr. Cullen, I need to close the cafeteria." Estelle's voice interrupted his memory.

Edward looked around, a little confused to see the cleaning lady back. "Um, yeah, I'm sorry, I lost track of the time," he said a little uneasily while shifting a little bit, hoping his lab coat would cover the embarrassing hard on he was sporting. _Think of something else!_

Estelle nodded with a sympathetic smile, not really noting anything amiss. At the same time, he gathered his things and then she escorted him out of the room. He walked slowly back to the elevator, finally controlling his body. He was lost in his own thoughts. _The tiniest things always remind me of her, its absurd! I'm engaged to Tanya and I keep thinking back when Bella and I were together. Cullen, you have to keep it together! This time its gonna work! Tanya would never do what Bella did. No, Tanya would never-_

BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.

The harsh sound of his beeper broke the quiet silence of the hallway making Edward jump a little. He quickly checked it.

**911. ER. TRAUMA**

Forgetting about the elevator, he quickly dashed up the stairs to the first floor where the ER was located. He heard the bustle of people and saw a stretcher being moved to one of the rooms. He set the finished charts on the nurse's station, giving quick instructions to the receptionist. Catching up, he strode into the room and went to the sink to wash his hands quickly while he looked around. The two interns were already there, as well as one paramedic and two nurses who were blocking his view of the patient.

"OK, what have we got?" He was all authority now, confident as always when he got in _doctor _mode.

He stepped closer to the stretcher and froze as he recognized the naked body in front of him. Standard protocol indicated that every time a trauma came in the nurses would cut off the patient's clothing to make treatment easier. Edward was never taken aback by it, but this time it was different. His head whipped around looking for the face of the woman, horror-struck once his eyes confirmed his hectic thoughts.

"Car crash, Female, late twenties, has lacerations to her..." one of the interns started the evaluation.

But Edward never processed the information; he couldn't take her eyes off her unconscious form on the bed.

_Bella…_

* * *

sooo what do you think?? I'm nervous cause it's my first time writing any sort of smut... please please tell me what you think! I love all comments even if it is to tell me I sucked! (it means you cared enough to say it :P LOL!!)

sooo leave me love in the form of a REVIEW!!

* * *


	5. Chapter 4

Hey guys!! Sorry for the wait. I have no excuse, I'll just say that I need to organize my time a little bit better! jeje

Anyways... I won't bore you that much with chapter notes but I do want to ask you to **_please check out the end notes please!!_**

Once again big props to my betta the lovely: **kryspylove** and big thanks for the great insight and help for this chapter!! LADY YOU ARE AMAZING!! :D!!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

and here we go...

* * *

**August 2014.**

_Bella? _

_What? How? _

_What happened? _Edward's panicked thoughts crowded his mind, completely overwhelming him.

_No no no! This isn't happening, this can't be happening!_

His mind screamed for him to move, to go to her and make sure she was all right. His body however, rendered him useless; he found himself unable to move one inch, and he was sure his face betrayed his earlier composure. He could feel his colleagues staring at him.

"Dr. Cullen? Dr. Cullen, are you alright?" a female voice interrupted his thoughts.

The nurse's voice was enough to break the sudden paralysis. He quickly composed himself and fighting the wave of panic, he managed to get back into "doctor-mode".

Acting as if nothing had happened he responded, "Sorry, let's proceed. Could you repeat the stats please?"

Edward never took his eyes off her; he started assessing the injuries he could see while he heard the paramedic give his report. Meanwhile, the nurses were helping her breathe through a ventilation mask, and the interns were helping Edward by taking a new set of vitals.

Bella woke up feeling dazed and confused. There were blinding lights everywhere and it took her a few minutes to comprehend she was in a hospital. She heard people bustling around her but her mind had a hard time processing what was happening. Her whole body ached and she was becoming aware of a lack of air. She felt suffocated and started to panic.

_What happened? Why am I here? Oh, the crash. _

While she tried to make sense of her thoughts and surroundings, Bella grew desperate; she was aware of people around, touching her and ignoring her. When she felt something brush across her side she moaned and trying to locate the source of pain she discovered that her neck was strapped with something.

Her breathing was becoming even more labored and her thoughts made no sense. She wanted to scream.

_Do something! _

_I can't, everything hurts!_

Then she heard it, between the confusion and pain there was a familiar voice.

_A voice from my dreams._ Bella focused on the velvety voice, she couldn't even understand what the voice was saying but it somehow calmed her down.

_Sounds like an angel._ She concentrated on that familiar voice she couldn't place; she didn't even understand why, but it gave her some peace amidst the chaos around her.

It took everything Edward had not to sink into the anxiety he was feeling; his colleagues couldn't help but notice the edge on his voice. He kept barking orders, not being as polite as usual.

The left side of her torso was covered in bruises; the paramedics had told him the car crashed into a lighting post, crushing the driver's side. She didn't seem to have any head injuries, but the fact that she had been unconscious worried him.

_Loss of consciousness is not usually a good sign_

Edward's mind went into override, listing all the possible things that could go wrong. Just as he was imagining Bella never waking up from a coma, a thought that filled him with dread, she moaned. His head snapped around and saw her awake.

_Oh dear Lord! She's awake! She's going to be all right, thank God!_

He visibly relaxed when she saw her awake. The possibilities of major injuries lessened considerably if she was awake and responding. _I'll order a CAT scan just to be sure._ He could tell from her expression she was panicking and he wanted to go to her and comfort her. He wanted to let her know that everything would be okay but he knew he couldn't and it was more important to measure the extent of her injuries.

_You can comfort her later… wait! Comfort her later? Snap out of it, you'll think about this later. _

Instead, he ordered the nurses to give her a light dose of morphine and watched as her eyes glazed over and her features softened, relieved from the pain. He kept the examination going, and after calling out her external injuries to the nurse who was doing the chart he also found two broken ribs on her left side where the bruising was located. After using his stethoscope he discovered the source of her shallow breathing.

"Dr. Evans, let's get a X-ray, she seems to have a collapsed lung. Dr. Roberts, we're going to have to insert a chest tube." He watched the interns' puzzled look before they complied.

Edward was supposed to be teaching as well, but he didn't trust Evans to do the procedure. Roberts was the most capable and focused of the two; he wouldn't take any chances were Bella was concerned.

The nurses quickly had all the materials needed on a small table next to the bed. Edward motioned Roberts to stand next to him. After instructing the intern on what he was going to do, he watched like a hawk as Roberts made the incision between her ribs and inserted the tube that would allow her to breathe again.

_In a few days, she'll be completely healed. _

Up to that moment Bella had tried not to move but at some point she felt heavier than usual. However, this new feeling came with a wonderful numbness that both relaxed and terrorized her. She fought the urge to close her eyes and sleep. She concentrated on the angel's voice that kept her grounded.

The pain was gone and she felt lightheaded, however, she was uncomfortable and cold. She faintly felt pressure on her left side and winced as she felt them inserting something into her. She desperately wanted to know what was going on, but the velvety voice of her angel was talking and she didn't want to interrupt him. Instead, she tried to remember from what dream he came from.

_That voice, where? I feel like I haven't heard it in a while, but I know it. _

As Bella pondered the familiarity of the tone, she found her thoughts going in circles. Irritated by her minds drowsiness she tried to recall what had happened in the accident.

_Stupid car hydroplaned. If I had my truck I wouldn't be here. My poor red truck. I should've had Jacob... JACOB! _

While Bella tried very unsuccessfully to finish a sentence, she wasn't aware she had been voicing her thoughts out loud.

"Stupid Audi…

Miss my truck…

Tank… never crashed"

Everyone in the room was silently paying attention to her ramblings with somewhat amused expressions. It was clear the morphine dose was enough to relieve the discomfort but Edward knew Bella had a low tolerance for pain medication. He chuckled to himself remembering the time Bella had fallen playing baseball with his family.

She had managed to break her leg in the process; when Carlisle patched her up he prescribed a very low dose of Vicodin for the pain. Almost immediately after taking it Bella started acting funny. She had rambled on for about an hour about her dislike of asparagus, something that still brought a smile to Edward's face but had mortified Bella whenever he reminded her of it.

"Jacob…"

Edward sobered up instantly.

_Of course, see Edward? _

_Here you are thinking back on your relationship and what is she thinking of?_

_Black. Damn pup._

**Spring 2005**

"Marry me."

_What did he say? Marry me? _

_I did not just say that out loud! Fuck Edward! Don't you have any filtering or what? This was not at all how I planned it._

Edward felt Bella stiffen in his arms. He released her from his embrace and backed away slightly so he could see her face. Bella looked panicked, as if a million thoughts were racing through her mind.

_He couldn't have meant it right? He's just saying it because of what happened right? I mean we're 18! The only reason people our age get married is if they messed up… Holy cow! The pill! _

"Bella love, please, say something," Edward pleaded, his eyes looked desperately into hers. He looked terrified as to what she would say.

_Bella say something! Anything! Look at him. He looks desperate. _She could see he looked as panicked as she felt but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. _What's one supposed to say?_

"The pill! I haven't taken the pill today!" her panicked voice told him.

_Ok, that was not a good answer, _she thought as soon as she saw his expression harden.

Edward nodded and stepped away from her, giving her room as she climbed off the washer, grabbing her discarded clothes and practically running upstairs. Sighing, he put his clothes back on.

_What a way to kill the mood Edward! _

Shirtless, he walked to the kitchen just outside the laundry room and sat on the table. Running his hands over his face, he scolded himself for what he had just done.

_Of course she would react that way! No girl wants to be proposed to like that! It just doesn't seem honest just after what happened. I don't even have the ring with me. How am I going to fix this?_

Edward remembered what Alice had suggested.

"_Just take her to a nice restaurant, oh, take her to Port Angeles where you had your first date! Or take her to that meadow you mentioned," she had said beaming at him._

"_Just make it special Edward, after all, it's the most important moment of your lives!" _

He really hadn't planned on telling Alice, but his favorite nosy sister had barged into his room when he was looking at the engagement ring he had inherited from his mother. She had let out an ear-piercing scream and wouldn't let Edward deny what he had in mind.

He hadn't actually made up his mind on how he wanted to propose to her. He just knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he had known it since the beginning but as graduation got nearer he felt the need to formalize something between them.

He hadn't even fully decided what college he was attending because Bella hadn't received her Dartmouth acceptance letter.

_Hell will freeze over before I go anywhere without her. _

Bella was set on going to the University of Seattle, arguing that her financial aid wouldn't cover something as expensive as Dartmouth.

The argument that followed when Edward suggested he could help out with tuition was epic in their relationship. Bella had responded that it would be unfair for her to take the money his parents had left him and Edward had told her she was being silly. Bella's temper flared at his comment, and shouting she told Edward just how silly she would look when everyone in Forks knew her boyfriend had to pay for her school.

"_Silly? You think I'm being silly? Well, people are sure going to think YOU are silly once they find out I'm wasting your fortune away! Can't you imagine the lies Lauren and Jessica will spread all over town! Don't you see how people see us? Can't you tell when everyone whispers about how my mother must be so happy that I've caught myself a rich boyfriend? You have no idea Edward! So just leave it okay?" _

He had stood there speechless as she walked away from him with tears running down her cheeks; she got into her truck and drove away from his house. Edward had tried catching up with her, but when he got to her house Charlie had told him she had called and told him she was going over to Jacob's.

The next day Edward showed up at her doorstep with a discreet bouquet of roses; she yanked the roses away from him, throwing them over her head and jumping into his willing arms. She apologized for snapping at him and he promised to go wherever she went for college; she said it wasn't fair for him but didn't press on the subject. She reluctantly filled in the application for Dartmouth, convinced that she wasn't going to get in.

He hadn't brought up the subject either. Besides, if they got married then Bella would be entitled to his fortune as well, and maybe then she wouldn't care what people though of it because it would be _her_ money too.

RIIIIIIING.

The kitchen's phone broke Edward's reverie.

"Edward, could you get that please?" Bella shouted from the stairs.

"Sure love." He stood and picked up the phone. "Hello, Swan Residence."

"Oh it's you, why are you answering? Where's Bella?" the heated voice replied.

"Who is this?" Edward asked, he knew exactly who it was. _Black. _However, he knew the over-politeness would get to him.

"You know who it is _leech_! Jacob! Now put her on the phone!" Jacob nearly shouted.

"Watch it dog! She'll answer when she's good and ready!" Edward growled at the phone.

"Who is it Edward?" Bella said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Busted _leech. _Now put her on," Jacob snarled at Edward.

Before Edward could make a come back Bella stepped into the kitchen, and deciding that the best thing to do right now wasn't start a fight with the dog he turned to look at Bella.

"Black," he simply said putting the phone down. He used a little too much force and it ended up making a big _clang _when it hit the counter.

"_Arg! He did that on purpose!" _both Bella and Edward heard Jacob scream.

Edward smirked as he sat on the table crossing his arms over his chest; he waited for Bella to answer Jacob's call.

_No way I'm giving up ground. _Edward thought, watching Bella pick up the phone with her back to him.

She sighed. _Every time! I really need to get a phone upstairs._ "Hey Jake, what's up?"

"Bells! You should really reign in your boyfriend," Jacob taunted.

"Jake…" she warned him. _What are they? Children?_

"What? Can't I call you anymore? Can you say: "controlling"? Really Bells, this is how it starts, next thing you know he's got you locked up in the basement of his house or something psycho like that." Jacob laughed at his comment.

_Bastard. He knows Edward can hear everything he's saying. _

"Yes Jake, you can call me but don't act all innocent. I know how you are with him."

"What? Did the leech complain about something or me?" Jacob teased.

THUMP.

Startled Bella spun around to find the Edward's chair on the floor and the kitchen empty. _Great. Just what I need. _

"Do not call him that Jacob!" Bella said through her teeth, trying to contain her anger. _Edward is nothing like a leech._

"Ah, come on Bella! He is a _leech_. He leeches off everyone. He leeches of Dr. Cullen and his wife; he has never worked for anything all his life! He's just a snotty rich kid who takes from everyone!" His snaky comments only angered her more.

"How dare you! He does not leech off anyone. He was adopted Jacob, he's not just some rich kid who doesn't appreciate anything. You can't talk about him because you don't know him!" she screamed into her phone.

"Whoa! No need to shout there, I can hear you pretty well," Jacob cockily replied, sounding more amused than anything.

"You know what Jacob, I'm done. You want me to choose? Well OK. I'll choose but I don't think you're gonna like what you hear."

_This is it, last resort. I didn't want it to come to this. _She pondered, biting her lip at the silence that crept over the line.

"Oh, I see." For the first time since she picked up the phone he sounded angry. "Go on then, _choose._ Let's see who you come crying to when he makes you cry again."

"Yeah? Well, I'll live!" Bella shouted hanging the phone with as much force as she could.

Bella couldn't stand it anymore. The nicknames they had for each other drove her crazy. Jacob called Edward "leech" because he was jealous of how easy Edward had it.

_Easy, yeah right, I'd like to see him lose both his parents at the age of 6. _

Immediately, Bella felt guilty for thinking that. _Jacob did lose his mom when he was younger than Edward, but he still had Billy. _

_Billy, who is in a wheelchair, and actually needs Jacob more than Jacob needs him. But still, Jacob is just jealous of Edward's money. And Edward… _

Edward had his own nickname for Jacob: "dog." She had heard him one day talking to Emmett about how he was always following and drooling over her like an over-eager puppy does to his master.

"_You should see him bro, really, I'm just waiting for him to ask Bella to throw him a stick to play fetch or something." _

More than the statement, it was Edward's mocking tone that had done it. Emmett's booming laughter stopped when he saw Bella standing at the door with a murderous look on her face. That fight that ensued was one for the books as well.

Neither of them made things any easy for her. Two of the three most important men in her life couldn't even be pleasant to each other.

_Correction, Jacob can't be nice to Edward, and Edward's short temper doesn't help matters. _

All of this while the third man of her life, Charlie, constantly told her it was just a boy thing and that she shouldn't take it to heart. _But Charlie's always been a softy for Jacob. _

"Fucking asshole." Bella muttered to herself.

"You're gonna regret that."

Bella turned to Edward's voice. He was leaning in the laundry doorway, his arms crossed over his naked torso looking tiredly at her. _I can already see the guilt in her eyes. Damnit, I don't get how my Bella can be so sweet to that mongrel. _

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Bella replied angrily stomping around the kitchen and picking up the chair.

But he was right. She wouldn't normally snap at Jacob that quickly but she was feeling edgy since Edward had asked her to marry him.

_He didn't mean it Bella! Don't think too much of it. _

"Bella, it's fine really. I don't take it to heart, and he doesn't care what I say," he said stepping in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders, making her look at him.

"But I care! You think I can just stand aside and watch you two go at each other?"

"Well… no, you are way to sweet for that love." He smiled at her.

Tears started to fall down her face. He pulled her close and hugged her. She was sobbing now and he felt like a bastard for putting her through this. _She's entitled to have any kind of friend she wants, even if it's that fucking puppy. Who am I to put her in this position? _

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Edward tried to soothe her, running his hands over back.

"I'm just sick of you two fighting. Really, is this how it's going to be always?" she cried into his neck. _Edward really doesn't deserve this; Jacob is the one who makes it impossible. _

"I promise to try harder." Bella felt her heart swell at his words. _My Edward, always trying to make it right. _He felt her chuckle and look up at him.

"Love, I think you might spontaneously combust if you try any harder," she teased him. "No, you're right. Everything will be fine.

The atmosphere lightened instantly; Edward let himself chuckle at her remarks. _My Bella is really an angel to put up with our shit. I know the only reason Black is jealous is because he wishes he had Bella. But my angel only wants me, only me forever. _With that thought Edward got the confidence he needed to continue the conversation he tried having before the dreaded phone call happened.

"Did you take the pill?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah, you would think after an embarrassing two hour lecture from Carlisle about birth control I would remember to take it every morning," Bella mumbled, blushing.

"You were the one who asked for the prescription," Edward reminded her.

"I did not!" she cried. "Esme suggested it when she found the condoms in your room!"

"I think I remember how it went down; I was there for the two hour lecture as well." Edward winced at the memory of Carlisle asking Bella personal questions about her period and family medical history.

"Yeah, well just try to remind me OK? Just to be safe," she said, placing a chaste kiss on his shoulder and stepping away.

_If he does ask one day I want it to be cause he wants too, not because he has to. _

"Do you want me to get a shirt from Charlie?"

"Nah, mine's already drying. I was doing that while you talked to Jacob."

Bella beamed at him. "Wow, that was very convincing. You didn't even grimace when you said his name"

Edward gave her his crooked smile and leaned in placing a light kiss in her nose. "Anything for you love."

"Well then mister, lets make us some dinner."

**August 2014.**

"…Jacob…"

Clenching his fists, Edward took a deep breath to calm himself. _Perfect reminder of what happened._ He unlocked his hands and pinched the bridge of his nose, sensing his headache once more. Just then Evans came in with the X-Ray technician.

"Finally," he glared at Evans, his temper getting the best of him.

When the intern was about to say something Edward interrupted him. "Next time try to get here faster; after taking the X-Ray's please take the patient for a CT while I contact the family."

Roberts snickered at Evans for being reprimanded, but after Edward shot him a glare as well he straightened up and looked away. After taking Bella's new chart from the nurse Edward quickly stepped out of the ER room. He wanted to get some air, but he had to take care of Bella first. Confident that nothing would happen to her while he was gone, he strode over to the reception.

"Did the paramedics leave the info for the patient who just came in?" he asked the bored receptionist.

"Yes, I'm compiling the forms she'll need to fill out," the receptionist answered shortly, not looking up from the paperwork.

"Did they leave any information for the emergency contact?" Edward was getting annoyed at her and he wasn't in the mood to use his charm to get the information he needed.

Sighing, the receptionist looked up annoyed at his tone. However, as soon as she caught a glance at him she instantly smiled and answered in the sweetest tone, "Oh Dr. Cullen, sure her insurance has a health proxy contact."

Fighting every urge he had to roll his eyes he waited for her to give it to him. After a few seconds he realized she was gawking at him.

_Really, could this night get any worse?_ Clearing his throat he asked, "Can I have it?"

"Oh, yes I'm so sorry." She moved a pile of papers and shuffled through some stuff on her desk.

_Seriously, could she be any more disorganized?_ Edward pinched the bridge of nose and tried not to let his anger get the best of him. After a minute of moving stuff around her desk she produced the insurance card from under the paperwork and handed it over to him smiling.

Edward ignored her, eyes scanning the card and he groaned.

_You got to be fucking kidding me! _

_Really, are you surprised? _

_No, I guess not. _

_**Name: Isabella Swan**_

_**DOB: 09/13/1987**_

_**Subscriber Number: 1452532**_

_**Policy Number: AA2231441**_

_**IN CASE OF EMERGENCY CONTACT: Jacob Black **_

_**Emergency Contact Number: (206) 765-3459**_

_**Allergies: Aspirin**_

_**Existing Pre-conditions: None**_

_**Medical Provider please call: 1-866-322-8999**_

_Emergency contact. Jacob fucking dog Black._

_Yup, the night just got worse. _

* * *

ok so what do you think?! what will happen now that Jacob and Edward will reunite? Will Jacob give us some insight into what happen all those years ago...

well if you really wanna find out then I suggest you leave a review!! :D

**_and now my somewhat long end note!!_**

I don't know if you guys are aware I'm co-writing a fabulously hilarious story with Ms.Becca aka XShear!! please please check it out! I promise you if you have half the fun reading it as we do writing it you wont be disapointed!

**"A Tale of Two Edwards"** check it out in my profile.

if you liked it, then don't forget to visit** XShear**'s stories... if you haven't you are really missing out.

Also...

I decided to enter the DTE contest over at at the very last minute. It's just something that popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. So if you're interested in reading a little smut then check it out:

**"Never Again" **also in my profile. **  
**

if you like it then don't forget to vote for it! :D!!

and that's it... im sorry if it bothers you if I promote my other fics! but hey at least I waited till the end notes to shamesly plug my stories...

Don't forget to review!! just follow the little arrow! :D

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	6. Chapter 5

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Hey guys!! I'm so so sooooo sorry the time it took for this new chapter! My life has been kinda hectic lately. After the last chapter was uploaded a lot of stuff has happened. For one, I find myself being single for the first time for a long time... this is sorta relevant cause it's hard to write a lovely reunion between two people who are very much in love when you are not feeling very romantic yourself... jeje. To add insult to injury I was in a minor car accident that thankfully resulted in no injures, but my car had to spend quite some time in the car hospital :p getting better (believe me, the irony of the car crash is no lost when I made Bella had a car accident :P).

Anyways!!!

Here's the new chapter! Now that my life is returning to some normality, I promise to write more chapters often, Chapter 6 is 3/4 ready. And thanks to the thanksgiving break, I'll have plenty of time to write!! :D!!

I hope you guys haven't lost faith in my little story! I promise it'll get better!

Special thanks to **Becca** for her love and support, and to **kryspylove** for everything she taught me.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

* * *

**Spring 2005**

Jacob Black was pacing relentlessly around his garage. If anyone asked he was just working on his Volvswagen, but the reality was far from it; his mind kept drifting back to the fight he had with Bella two days ago.

_Choose? I didn't ask her to choose! She always goes to the extremes. _

_I didn't even say anything wrong! _

Jacob sighed. He knew he was wrong. Part of him regretted not apologizing to her, but the stubborn part in him, remembered that _he_ never apologized either. So he justified his anger, telling himself that he really didn't need her around.

_It's her loss anyways. She'll feel lonely when Cullen leaves her to go to his fancy college. _

He instantly felt guilty at that thought. It wasn't fair for him to wish Bella any kind of harm or sadness. If it all came down to him wishing that Bella could be happy, then she would be the happiest woman in this world; because Jacob prayed for her happiness every night.

_I just wish her happiness didn't include him!_

_I bet he doesn't even know how lucky he is. _

_And what is up with all the hugging and kissing, it's gross! smug bastard probably just wants to flaunt her like a prize. _

_-"Hey, look at me with my amazing girl"_

"Arg, fucking leech" Jacob muttered in anger.

Jacob knew he would act just like Cullen acted. If he could, he would never stop adoring Bella. Sure, kissing and public displays of affection weren't really his thing. But if Bella were to ever be his, he would never stop telling her how amazing she was.

Bella thought Jacob was jealous of Edward's life, but she couldn't be farther away from the truth. Jacob Black would never trade his life with Edward Cullen.

_The leech does have it easy; no money problems, good looking…_

_Hell, the fucker is even a geek! _

_But, to have no parents._

_To live in a house full of strangers. _

Jacob shuddered at that thought. He knew what it was like to be raised in a house missing one parent. When he was little it was hard for him to understand why his mom was never around to take care of him; but his sisters always made it up with motherly affection and concerns to the point of being irritating.

He had his dad who loved him. He grew up in a house filled with people of his own blood; people who looked like him, and understood him. His family extended to the whole reservation where everyone knew everyone, and they helped each other out. Whilst Cullen had been taken to Forks from his home in Chicago after his parents died; forced to live with strangers and adapt to a new town.

No, Jacob Black would never trade his life with Edward Cullen; even his money held no appeal to him.

_It's not even Cullen's money. It's his dead parent's money._

_If I could have something of his, then that would be Bella. _

When Jacob heard Bella Swan was coming to live in Forks, he didn't put much thought into it. He vaguely remembered a clumsy girl who played with his sisters when they were younger. Even after Charlie brought her to the reserve to visit Billy, Jacob noted that she had turned into a very pretty girl, but still spared no second thought about her.

However, over time they developed a remarkable friendship becoming best friends. It was then that Jacob soon found himself craving every single moment spent with her. At first he thought it was normal, she was the only girl that he trusted as a friend. Surely the butterflies he felt every time she walked into a room where nothing, and the embarrassing fantasies that crawled into his mind every night were normal for any teenager.

It was when Bella started talking to him about Edward Cullen that he finally realized his feelings for her; the love that had grown on his behalf. Nothing else could explain the raging jealousy that assaulted his mind when she told him she had found a boyfriend.

He was surprised however, to find that Bella's boyfriend was none other than Edward Cullen, who by all accounts could be considered the "greatest catch" in the Forks/ La Push area. Everyone knew his adoptive brothers had a freakish relationship with Edward's adoptive sisters; it was quite a scandal to everyone, and something even the girls at Jacob's high school liked to gossip about. With Edward being the only single guy of the Cullen family- who were by far, the richest family in town- it was no surprise the kind of attention Edward received from girls, and in consequence, the attention Bella received as his only known girlfriend.

Jacob always thought Edward would go for someone a little more in his league. Not that he didn't think Bella was pretty, but she seemed to be to shy, intelligent and introverted for someone like Edward Cullen. Jacob convinced himself it wouldn't last long, that their relationship would be nothing more than a passing high school fling. But, just like everyone around him, Jacob had been proved wrong. Bella and Edward were still going strong, and it was certain from the way Bella looked at Edward, that her love was not fading any time soon.

Jacob never wavered though; he was patiently waiting for any opening that would enable him to let his feeling be known. To profess his love for Bella, and to have her correspond; for now he settled for what he could get: her friendship.

He pushed for more time with her, an action that led to the current animosity between himself and Edward Cullen. But Jacob was no fool; he knew that Edward was aware of his feelings, maybe even felt threatened, which gave him more reason not to back down and keep his silent fight for Bella's affection.

Their friendship was a comfort to both of them, not something they would give up easily. Bella would come over almost once a week and they would talk about what was going on in their lives; Jacob would visit her whenever he could get a ride to Forks. He had been working on the rabbit non-stop so he could have a frequent transport to visit Bella more often.

_Well, I guess now I can think of other uses for the car. _

Jacob's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an old engine pulling up his drive way. He peeked outside and smiled when he saw Bella's truck. The driver's door was open, Bella was bent down collecting something Jacob couldn't see from the inside of the cab.

She finally pulled back carrying a heavy tote; she closed the door of the truck, took several deep breaths and walked towards the front porch. Jacob stepped out of the garage and caught up with her as she knocked the front door.

"No one is in there you know," he said from behind her.

Bella jumped at the same time she tried to turn to the source of the voice. She ended up stumbling with her own feet and falling back, her back slammed into the front door. Her hand clenched her chest, her eyes wide with alarm.

"Jesus, Jake! You almost gave me a heart attack!" she panted.

"I'm sorry, I thought you heard me get near," he chuckled at her display.

The light atmosphere disappeared instantly. His earlier concern of not seeing her again faded at her sight, now he was just angry for getting all worked up about it.

"So, why are you here?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest, his tone was harsher than he intended.

Bella looked at him with a pained expression. Just like Edward predicted she had been feeling very guilty about their fight. She decided to come over to La Push and settle this little quarrel.

"Listen, Jake, I am sorry about…"

"About what? Cutting me off?" he replied smugly, "well, I knew you wouldn't last long, what did he do this time?"

Anger flashed in her eyes.

_Well, if he thinks I'm going to grovel then he has another thing coming. _

"He didn't do anything, Jacob!" she said barely containing her anger, "I was actually here to continue with your Biology project, but if you want to go to summer school," she shrugged, "suit yourself."

Bella tried to get pass him but he stepped in front of her blocking her path. She looked up at him defiantly. Jacob uncrossed his arms and pulled his palms up, signaling defeat.

"Okay, Bells, listen I'm sorry." He said looking into her eyes pleadingly.

Bella half smiled at him, he could tell that she wanted to hear more.

"I really am, I don't want you to choose." He sighed looking down at his feet. "I know he's important to you." He mumbled.

"He is, Jake, I love him." She searched for his eyes, so he would know she was being sincere. When he finally looked up she continued, "and I don't want to loose you either, so please, please try to be civil to each other… for me?" she finished in a quiet voice, almost uncertain if that would be enough.

_For her, I can do this for her. Soon he'll be gone and then everything will be perfect. _

Jacob looked at her for a moment, and then nodded closing his eyes. He didn't catch Bella smiling at him, but he couldn't miss the way she hugged him after letting out a small giggle.

_That's about enough confirmation that I need from him. _Bella thought as she felt Jacob return her hug.

Bella pulled away first giving him a warm smile. "Okay, lets get that project started then." She said as she straightened her tote and turned to the door.

Jacob nodded and led her inside; after a couple of hours she had helped him with an extra credit project that would ensure a passing grade on his Biology class. Jacob watched her as she moved on to her Calculus homework; her hair was tied back in a simple ponytail, loose strands feel on her face framing her features, Jacob couldn't keep his eyes away from her.

He noticed she was particularly distracted today. She kept staring into space, her eyes unfocused. Afterwards she would blush, shake her head and continue with her homework. Jacob felt uneasy, it was like she was hiding something and he wanted desperately to know what was keeping her thoughts elsewhere. After two more rounds of "distracted Bella," he decided to speak up.

"So, are you gonna tell me what's got you so distracted, or are we gonna keep pretending everything is fine?" he asked nonchalantly.

Bella bit her lip for a moment while she looked at him. She seemed to be debating with herself before she made a decision.

"Have you ever thought about the future?" she asked looking down at the table.

"Um, sure," Jacob replied standing up from his kitchen table and grabbing two cokes from the fridge, "but what does that have to do with anything?" he added as he sat back down handing her one of the cans.

"I guess, I just want to know, if it's normal for boys our age to think," she paused for a moment.

Jacob opened his coke; taking a good swig at it, he motioned with his hand for her to continue.

_Just say it, really, how hard can this be. _Bella thought, while she traced the patterns of the fake wood.

"Come on, Bells, spit it out." Jacob chuckled.

"Do you ever think about settling down?" she finally said.

Jacob was taken aback from her question. _Settling down? What does she mean?_

"You know how girls always talk about getting married and having children…" she moved her hands around, a sing Jacob recognized as nervousness, "well, I just want to know, if guys ever think about that?" Bella finished looking directly at Jacob.

_Married? Children? What is she on about? _Somehow Jacob couldn't place why Bella would want to know such a thing. She never really seemed like those sort of girls who only thought about that. In fact, Bella rarely talked about the future, she concentrated on the present. More over, Jacob thought that because of her parent's divorce, Bella wasn't all that keen about the "marriage institution."

"Uhm, Bells, I don't really think about that stuff." Jacob honestly replied. The only future Jacob ever thought about consisted of Edward Cullen leaving for college and Bella staying here with him.

When Jacob looked at her frightened expression, he immediately knew that, that was no the answer she was looking for.

"Really, Bella, was is this about?" he asked taking another swig at the can of soda.

"Edwardaskedmetomarryhim." Bella said too fast, hoping Jacob wouldn't catch what she had said.

However, Jacob did understand every single word she had uttered. He gasped at the moment he heard Bella's sentence. Unfortunately, since he was still drinking, the act caused the liquid to go into the wrong pipe inducing the near- death choking attack.

Bella had moved quickly getting a glass of water and thrusting it in Jacob's hand and she patted his back. He fought back the coughing fit while his mind processed a million thoughts at once.

_Marry him?_

_What, is he crazy? _

_They're only 18 for Christ sakes! _

_Fuck.. need air... _

_No, Bella married, no! _

Bella finally grabbed his arms and pulled them up his head, a technique she learned from her mom to stop coughing fits. Jacob gasped for air two more times before finally nodding his head indicating that he was okay. Bella let his arms go and once again tried to make him drink some water.

He pushed the glass aside. "What?" he asked, his voice still a little breathless.

"Edward, asked me to marry him?" she responded more as a question than a statement.

"I heard that, I meant, what do you mean?" Jacob growled.

"Um… I… I dunno." She looked at him, her pink cheeks rapidly turning the red color he almost always found so endearing. At this moment however, he didn't so much.

"Bella… you're not making any sense," he answered curtly. His good mood had vanished at her confession.

"He," she sighed, "Edward, we were…" she blushed even more before continuing, "well, he suddenly said: "Marry me," and I freaked and basically ran away from him, and before we could talk about it you called and we fought, and I've been avoiding the conversation even since." Bella took another breath, before biting her lip nervously once more.

Jacob took a moment to process all she had said. Questions filled his head; the future he had hoped for was suddenly threatened. He couldn't phantom anyone their age wanting to get married.

_Cullen, probably didn't even mean it. _Jacob thought as he looked at Bella, who suddenly looked terrified at him.

"Did he mean it? I mean, were you guys joking around or what?" he asked.

"No, we weren't joking." _Please don't ask what we were doing. _

"I don't understand then, what were you guys doing?" Jacob asked, not really understanding how Edward could just ask something like that out of the blue.

Bella turned her gaze to the table and answered in a very quiet voice, "He kinda blurted it out after… sex." The last part was barely a whisper but Jacob could still understand it in the quiet kitchen.

Jacob clenched his fists in anger; he wasn't naive, he had assumed from the way they looked at each other, and from their subtle touches that their relationship had crossed the physical line, yet, it still stung to know that the woman of his dreams was having sex with a man he despised.

"Well, that explains it then," he said in a bitter tone.

"What do you mean?" asked Bella.

"Bells, come on, a man will say anything when he's about to… you know," he said trying to diminish the possibility of the proposal being real.

He looked at Bella, who had finally raised her head to look at him; she was still for a moment letting his words sink in. Jacob looked at her reaction, curious to see what she expected to hear from him. However, he never expected her to look disappointed at his explanation.

Her eyes filled with tears, but she still gave him a watery smile. "You're right," she nodded, "lets just forget I said anything, okay."

She turned to her book once more, and Jacob could tell she was fighting back tears, her shoulders slumped and she turned her head slightly away from him, resting it on the palm of her hand.

_Shit, she wanted it to be real. _Jacob suddenly felt horrible at crushing her hopes. In all honesty he didn't know anything about the supposed ecstasy of sex. He was a virgin; sure he had kissed a few girls from his school, and even got to second base with one of them, but he had never experienced anything with another person that would make him blurt out something as important as _that_.

"Bella, are you okay?"

She sniffed, and Jacob's stomach plummeted to his feet.

_She's crying you imbecile! You made her cry. _

"Hey, I'm sorry," Jacob said, softly taking her forearm and moving it so that she would turn to face him.

A single tear escaped from her eyes. He brushed the tear away; his thumb lingering on her cheek. He couldn't stand to see her in pain, despite his wishes to make Edward Cullen seem like an asshole, he found himself saying the best words he could think of, just to ease her sadness.

"Bells, he might've meant it… I dunno, you have to talk to him about it," his tone had no malice in it, but mere sincerity.

Bella laughed without humor. "It's stupid really, I don't want to get married, and I've been freaking out ever since," more tears fell from her eyes, "but, I guess, I've also been secretly hoping he _meant it_, hoping… that he really wants to be with me." Her voice broke, along with Jacob's heart.

Bella had spent the past couple of days avoiding any conversation with Edward that would lead to what had been said that day on her laundry room. Part of her was terrified at the prospect of marriage, the commitment that had meant the death sentence to her parent's relationship. The logical side of her agreed with Jacob's answer, she concluded that his words had been without meaning, words thrown out in haste and passion. However, the was another part of her- the less logical part, the part that her heart ruled- which made her wish that he had meant the words he said, the part that had spent the last two days fantasizing about a little cabin on the outskirts of Forks with Edward and her sitting on old rocking chairs, while they watched bronze-haired grandchildren play in the front porch.

She laughed again at her stupidness. The sound muffled by a sob.

_Of course he didn't meant it! _

_Come on Bella, how could you manage to get a guy like Edward to spend the rest of his life with you? _

_That's easy… you can't. _

"No, honey, please don't cry," Jacob said grabbing her arms and pulling her into a hug, "Bells, how could he not want you?" he asked stepping back to look at her puffy red eyes.

Bella closed her eyes shacking her head, but Jacob stopped her negativity with his hands, holding her face so she would look at him.

"Bella, you are beautiful, and funny, and intelligent, and the most wonderful woman I know… Cull- Edward, knows this, and I'm pretty sure he will never let you go," as Jacob said these words he finally realized they were true.

Edward knew what he had, and he wasn't going to let it go. The proposal was real and it was only a matter of time before it was official. Bella's reaction confirmed that- if given the opportunity- she would stay with Edward forever, and this realization broke Jacob's dreams and shattered his soul. Nevertheless, he was prepared to do what was right, even if that meant pushing Bella away from him and on to the happiness she longed for. A scenario that centered on Edward Cullen.

"Come on, Bells, talk to him about it, and if the _leech_ doesn't own up, then I'll beat the shit out of him," Jacob taunted, although he meant every word.

It worked, Bella laughed sincerely, "Oh, please, you would love any excuse." She said playfully shoving him back and wiping her tears.

"Sure, sure," Jacob grinned winking at her, "but, he doesn't need to know that."

"You promised to be nice," Bella replied.

Jacob sighed dramatically, "Damn, I did, didn't I?"

Bella nodded smiling at him, "Thank you, Jake."

"No problem, Bells, what are best friends for?" Jacob said leaning down to kiss her forehead, "I promise everything will turn out fine."

Bella smiled wider, her eyes glistening with hope. Jacob always knew how to make things better.

**August 2012**

"Jake…"

"Mhm…"

"Jake, your cell phone…" Vanessa said rolling to her side.

"What?" Jacob Black mumbled as he looked around the dark room.

BUUZZZZ

Now that he was semi-awake he could hear the faint buzzing of his cell phone on the nightstand.

_How did she hear that?_

Looking at his sleeping wife's form in awe, Jacob reached for the demanding cell phone. The haziness of his sleep made him unaware of the late hour; flipping the cell phone, he sunk into his pillows and answered the call.

"Hullo," he mumbled.

_Why the fuck are you calling?_

"Is this, Mr. Jacob Black?" a deep familiar voice answered.

"Yes, who is this?" Jacob answered uneasily, his mind finally concentrating on the task at hand. _Its late, what is this about? Do I know him?_

"This is…. Dr. Cullen," the voice said before taking a deep breath.

_Cullen? Carlisle? No, it doesn't sound like him. _"Who?" Jacob asked sitting up from the bed.

"What's going on?" Vanessa asked looking up at her husband.

"Jacob, this is Edward Cullen," the voice replied from the cell phone.

_What-the-fuck?_

"_Leech_?" Jacob asked without thinking.

Edward rolled his eyes at the sound of his old nickname; he was still standing in the front desk trying to avoid the gawking receptionist's eyes. He had debated whether it was best for him to talk to Jacob Black, however his professional ego wouldn't let him back down from such a simple task.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, sorry man," Jacob quickly added.

"Don't worry about it, Jacob, this is about Bella," Edward replied getting to the point, waiting for the inevitable outburst.

_And 3…2…1_

"Bella? What are you talking about?" his voice rose with every word. Alarms went off in his head, instant dread filled his mind.

"Jacob, Bella was in an car accident…" Edward started but was cut off by Jacob's screams.

"What! What do you mean Bella was in an accident? How do you know? Is she alright?" Jacob hollered, disentangling himself from the bed sheets and jumping around in search of his clothes.

_No, please God, not Bella. _It was all Jacob could think of.

"Jacob, please calm down," Edward answered calmly.

"DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Jacob panted, "just, please tell me if she's alright," his voice breaking as he pleaded.

Vanessa understood the events happening around her, she was already buttoning up her blouse with her pants already done. She crossed the room, putting a calming hand on her husband's shoulder trying to soothe him. Jacob looked at her, his eyes filled with unshed tears, he put his hand over hers, grasping it tightly seeking the comfort only the love of his life could provide.

Edward had expected his angry reaction, but he never expected to hear Jacob so close to tears. _I guess, they're still together. _Edward thought sadly, he didn't know why the confirmation made his heart clench, and all to familiar heartbreak appear again.

"She's ok," Edward said in a quiet voice, pain suddenly overtook him, "Jacob, she's ok, a little battered up, but she'll be fine."

Edward let his words sink in before continuing, "She's in Virginia Mason, come in through the ER entrance and ask for me; there is no need to raise any speed limits or break any laws, if you are to upset then maybe it's not best for you to drive."

Jacob nodded before he realized Edward couldn't see him, "My wife will drive me." He said looking at Vanessa who was rubbing his back soothingly.

_Wife? He's married? _Edward thought confused.

"We'll be there in 15 minutes," Jacob added before hanging up.

He turned to Vanessa and hugged her close, breathing in her sweet lemony shampoo, taking a moment to make the anxiety go away with her touch. Vanessa let him hug her with so much force she almost couldn't breathe, but it didn't matter, she would do anything to make Jacob happy. He was the love of her life, she understood him like no other, and even more than Bella Swan ever did, but she also knew how important Bella was to Jacob.

She didn't feel threatened by Jacob's love for Bella, she knew that that love was more brotherly than carnal. After years of pinning after her Jacob understood that the only way he could love Bella was as his sister, however, that didn't mean that he didn't have to go through some heartache in order to understand that.

When he met Vanessa he was instantly attracted to her, her long wavy almost blonde hair, her deep blue eyes, her tall figure. It was so different than the attraction he once felt towards Bella, whilst Bella had been no more than a teenage love, Nessie had been the love that would forever mark his life. He knew he wanted to be with her since the first moment he laid eyes on her, like his world shifted and she instantly became the center of gravity pulling his life into hers.

Vanessa had felt the exact same way when she met Jacob, his tall built form, his black eyes, long dark hair, and deep manly features had made the attraction towards him stronger than any other she had ever felt. His kind demeanor and loyalty for his loved ones made him the man of her dreams, and she would do anything to make him happy.

"She'll be fine, babe." She whispered into his ear.

_Yes, she has to be. _He thought as he released her and changed into his clothes.

"You're right, Ness," he said as they headed out the door, not one minute later, "I'm just scared."

"Don't worry, honey," she said locking the front door of their home.

"Edward, said she'll be fine, but I won't be convinced until I see her."

"Edward? You know the doctor?" Nessie said as they headed to the car.

Jacob laughed ironically, "Yeah, he is Bella's Edward."

Nessie's jaw dropped, she looked at Jacob with a bemused expression, "_The _Edward?"

He sighed, buckling his seatbelt, "The one and only."

_Oh well, this will be interesting. _Nessie thought as she drove into the night.

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**Please Review!! :D **


	7. Chapter 6

Hey guys! This chapter is the longest I've written so far. It's the most bittersweet chapter so far, and I trully enjoyed writing it. It hints a lot of things, and I'm sure most of you will figure out at least part of what happened.

Thanks to **kryspylove** for her guidance. And most of all **_huge _**thanks and Rob goodies to my partner in crime: Becca. aka **Xshear**, who makes boring days turn into Rob-goodness days!! LUV U BIATCH!!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

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**August 2014**

Bella felt them move the bed, the feeling was confirmed when her vision of the ceiling changed as they transported her to the CAT-scan exam. The morphine was wearing off; as the pain became more noticeable, her mind became clearer. She still heard faint voices of the people around her wheeling her into a strange room, none of them however, were the voice of the angel who kept her calm.

"Where am I?" She asked aloud for the first time.

"You're in the hospital, Isabella," Rogers answered knowing her name from the charts.

"It's Bella, I meant _which_ hospital." Bella answered rolling her eyes.

"Virginia Mason," Rogers replied hotly while eying Evans who looked surprised at Bella's comment.

"Oh, and where are we going?" She tried to look around but the neck brace they had on her prevented her to move.

"We're getting you a CAT-scan; how are you feeling?" Evans asked. Bella noticed his voice was not the one she was looking for.

"I could be better," she replied honestly.

Both interns chuckled. Normally patients were far too disoriented for such cocky comments and humor; they immediately liked her.

"We're here," Rogers announced.

They moved Bella to a much harder bed and instructed her to stay very still, or else they would have to repeat the exam again. As Bella lay on the hard table she recounted everything that had happened, from her incessant working, to the accident, and finally to waking up in the hospital. She recalled the voice of the angel that had kept her from panicking. The voice that seemed so familiar yet so distant; like her mind could just reach out and recognize it, but her foggy mind had not been able to.

Bella cursed the pain and haziness of the medicine that made her unable to remember why the voice seemed so familiar. Instead, it was like her body recognized the tenure even more than her mind could. When the deep velvet tones reached her ears, her body forgot the pain, relief washed over her and despite the panic of the situation she felt like everything would be alright.

_Have I finally made myself crazy? _Bella thought as the interns came back into the room.

"Ok Bella, everything looked good from what we can see, but let's wait for Dr. Cullen to make sure, alright?" Evans asked as they moved her again.

_Cullen? _

The name hit Bella like a bucket of ice-cold water; with a name everything suddenly felt into place. The smooth, deep voice that soothed her like no other, the feeling of peace her body felt into, the way it seemed so familiar, so like home but at the same time so foreign and unattainable.

The mere memory of his voice. Knowing that he had been so close and she didn't get a chance to see him, to talk to him, was enough for Bella's eyes to tear up. In a day filled with events and emotions, knowing that Edward had been so close was enough to make Bella loose her composure.

Tears fell from her eyes overwhelmed by the sudden urge to see Edward, and without warning, the recollection of what Bella considered to be one of the happiest days of her life-but never allowed herself to remember- came to the forefront of her thoughts.

**Spring 2005**

Bella and Edward walked along the Jacksonville Beach Pier. It took several hours to convince Charlie, one of which involved a call from Renee assuring him she would be an impeccable chaperon, for Charlie to let Edward accompany Bella to Jacksonville. The following weeks had been filled with not so subtle threats from Charlie, and one or two speeches from Esme about "meeting the parents."

In the end, Edward knew it was worth it when he saw Bella's face light up at the sight of her mother in the airport terminal. He was then introduced to Renee, who looked like an older version of Bella except for the blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. Her personality, however, was completely opposite from Bella's. It was noticeable in the way Renee never seemed to blush, unlike Bella. Her outgoing personality contradicted Bella's usual shyness. This was proved by the constant chatting she did in the short car ride from the airport to the house.

Bella was very happy to see her mother after such a long time. She never feared that Renee wouldn't approve of Edward, in all honesty Charlie was the hard one to impress and despite his empty threats Charlie liked Edward. With Renee things were simpler, so it was no surprise that as soon as her mother set eyes on Edward she was completely smitten with him. He even blushed at Renee's remarks of his handsome features and impeccable manners; Bella tried not to roll her eyes at her mother's attentions towards Edward but mostly she was happy that she approved their relationship full heartedly.

Edward found the imbalance between Bella and Renee's personalities very interesting. Bella seemed to frequently soothe her mother, while Renee seemed to exalt Bella to the point of exhaustion. Although Edward liked Renee very much, he found himself appreciating Charlie's calm and reserved demeanor. Renee, he found, could be a little overbearing and while she was more "free spirited" than Charlie, the open mind ness came with prying questions about what Edward considered to be private things in their relationship. He discovered this their first morning while going downstairs.

"_Come on, sweetheart, you can tell me, is he attentive?" She had asked, "you know, in bed?"_

"_Mom, pleeaasee," Bella answered nervously._

"_Bella, come on, I'm not going to say anything to Charlie," she chuckled, "besides, he told me he thinks you guys are having sex, so-" _

"_Mom, Edward, is wonderful at everything he does, okay." Bella said trying to end the discussion. _

_Renee laughed at her daughter's shyness. "Oh, honey, sex is the most natural thing in a relationship. Why, Phil and I are still going through our honeymoon phase-"_

"_Moooooomm," Bella pleaded. _

"_Okay, okay, just remember to be safe. You're still to young to be tied down with a baby, learn from my mistake-"_

Renee stopped when he heard Edward go down the last steps a little too loudly. He came into the kitchen acting as if he hadn't heard anything at all only to find Bella's face crimson red while Renee offered him breakfast with no dismay or embarrassment.

Edward soon realized that Renee was more of a "best friend" to Bella than a "mother." However, Renee's free personality had allowed him to share a room with Bella while they stayed in Jacksonville; something that warranted no complaints on Edward's part.

Bella had enjoyed her time in Jacksonville, most of her time was spent with Renee, while Edward graciously agreed to stay with Phil so that she could spend more mother/daughter time. She was grateful for this, she truly missed her mom and cherished every moment spent with her, even if it meant more prying and embarrassing questions. So after two days of full Renee time, she had compromised to spend the last day-Saturday- with Edward while Renee and Phil drove to Gains ville for a minor game, they would arrive Sunday morning just in time to drive them to the airport.

That left them free to explore the city at their leisure, after spending the morning buying souvenirs for their loved ones back in Forks, they got some lunch before heading to the early Symphony Orchestra showing. Edward had suggested a quick walk on the beach before they had to call it day.

Strolling around the beach barefoot, holding hands with Edward and conversing about mundane things, Bella took a good look at him. He looked as handsome as ever, wearing dark jeans, with a navy blue button shirt, and a light cream jacket. The wind blew on his hair making it less tamed than it was a second ago, his green eyes sparkled and he smiled at her in that crooked smile that she knew was reserved for her.

At that moment she was convinced her fears were nothing more than insecurities on her part_._ If wasn't possible that Edward could look at her that way and not love her, no way that he would atone to a whole weekend with Renee if he didn't expect this relationship to last.

Bella was convinced to follow Jacob's advice and talk to Edward about their future together. It seemed _pushy_ to her, the fact that she needed to ask what was going to happen when they both graduated. Nonetheless, Bella was sure that she could never afford to go to Dartmouth as Edward wished; and she wasn't about to make Edward give up his dream just so he could stay at UW with her. After long nights pondering their situation, Bella was convinced that a long distance relationship would be the best route for them.

She had yet to voice these concerns to Edward, telling herself that she was waiting for the right moment. However, the reality was that she had dreaded the conversation. In her mind, the conversation that started as an opportunity to continue their relationship ended with them agreeing it was best to end while they were still ahead. Yet, Bella found hope in the way Edward had been hinting their future.

Just this morning, Bella woke up to light kisses being placed on her shoulder and protective arms circling her waist. She turned to find Edward, his bronze wild hair standing up at odd ends, with a smile on his face.

"_Hey," she greeted him sleepily. _

"_Hi, love." He replied kissing her nose. "Sorry I woke you, it was just to tempting not to kiss you."_

"_Yeah, I bet it was," she said sarcastically, "What will I do with you Mr. Cullen, when you don't even let me sleep?"_

_Edward laughed while Bella scooted closed to him; nuzzling his neck she added, "I hope you learn to control your urges soon, or else I will never get my full beauty sleep," she finished dramatically._

"_Love, even after fifty years together, I don't think I'll ever be able to control my "urges" for you." He said holding her close. _

"_Fifty?" Bella asked propping herself up on his chest to look at him directly. "You really think at seventy you'll still be able to please me?" She teased. _

"_Is that a challenge?" Edward asked arching an eyebrow._

"_Are you up for it?" She said wiggling her eyebrows and biting her lip. _

Edward replied by grabbing her hips and turning them over while Bella giggled excitedly. He spent the next two hours proving her just how much he could please her. After days like this, Bella felt stupid for doubting Edward.

_It's going to take some work, but I'll do anything to make Edward happy. _Bella thought as they sat on one of the benches of the pier.

It was twilight, the sun was making its slow descent into the water creating a wonderful orange haze over the clouds and water contrasting beautifully with the blue sky. A light breeze soothing the humid warmness of the beach; Edward sat facing the sunset with Bella over his lap, his light jacket over her shoulders guarding her from the chilly breeze. Neither of them spoke, enjoying the comfortable silence interrupted only by the sound of the light waves reaching the beach.

Edward was engrossed in the moment, ever since the day he had blurted out "Marry me," he had thought endlessly about how to make it right. He had even gone as far as to beg Alice for help. They had decided that a nice dinner-date in Seattle after graduation would be the best way for him to propose.

Nevertheless, Edward still carried the ring everywhere he went, in case that the right moment came up. Now in front of this beautiful sunset, with Bella looking breathtaking in her light blue sundress, her long chocolate hair moving with the wind and her deep brown eyes twinkling with sparks of orange courtesy of the setting sun; Edward knew there would never be a more perfect moment than this.

"Bella." He whispered getting her attention.

When she turned to look at him- her eyes full of love and admiration- he felt a wave of nerves wash over him.

_Damn it, Edward! Get it together! You can do this. _His thoughts screamed at him.

"Edward, are you okay?" Bella asked palming his cheek, "You look really pale."

"Yeah, don't worry." He said nonchalantly talking her hand from his cheek and holding it tightly.

_What's wrong? He was fine a minute ago. _Bella asked herself.

"Bella, I've been thinking about us, and graduation…" He started looking at their intertwined hands.

This time, it was Bella's turn to turn ghostly pale. _Oh my God, here it comes, he's gonna break up with me._

"and, I've realized that every single plan I have... includes you, that I want to be with you for the rest of my life." He looked up to meet her panicked eyes.

Edward fumbled with the jacket draped over her, reaching for the left pocket he took out a small black box. Bella's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock.

Edward chuckled nervously at her expression. _Here goes nothing. _

Opening the box, Edward revealed a simple delicate ring with a round diamond centered around a golden band engraved with tiny diamonds. Bella was too shocked to comment on anything, her head kept drifting from the exquisite ring to Edward's nervous features.

Finding courage he knew he possessed, Edward took the ring from the box and held it with his thumb and forefinger.

"Isabella Swan?" He asked looking into her eyes, she was mesmerized by the emotion she saw there, "I promise to love you forever- every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

It took Bella a whole second for the question to fill her brain. The shock, fear, happiness, and above all, the love she felt in that second rivaled nothing else in her life. She knew things wouldn't be easy; she knew they were still to young, to naive to actually make this work. But she also knew none of it mattered. She loved Edward; more- she was sure- than any other person in the planet had ever loved. So, if by some happy coincidence he loved her too, then nothing would stop them.

There were many things she wanted to say in that moment, some very cheesy and some sarcastic and witty; but rather than try to convey the range of emotions she felt, she decided to answer with the only thing her mind scream at her.

"Yes."

**August 2014**

"Bella, are you okay? Are you in pain?" Rogers asked worriedly, interrupting her thoughts.

Bella looked up at him confused before realizing where she was. "Oh, yes, sorry… I guess the weight of what happened finally kicked in." She replied wiping the stray tears away.

Both interns nodded, looking warily at each other. Without another word they wheeled her into another ER room.

"So, this Dr. Cullen, who is he?" She tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible, in reality her heart ached for any information she could get on Edward.

"Dr. Cullen, he's the on-call Resident, don't worry he's really good." Evans answered as they entered the little room.

Bella saw Rogers smirk at Evans' comment, and she didn't miss him whisper "Suck up" under his breath.

"You don't like Dr. Cullen?" Bella asked slightly amused.

The intern didn't look embarrassed of Bella catching his little comment, "He's a good doctor, its just this one has a crush on him." He said patting Evans' back after they settled her in the new bed.

Bella giggled at Evans chagrined expression. "Don't listen to him, he's a jerk who doesn't know what he's talking about." He replied eying Roberts pointedly.

"Please Evans, save it, we all know about your little "man crush" on Dr. Cullen, as if he doesn't get enough attention from the nurses," Roberts replied with a bitter tone.

_Yep, its definitively Edward. _Bella thought highly amused by her doctor's interactions.

"Okay, enough. Bella, we are going to ask you some routine questions, okay?" Evans asked.

"Can I sit up?" Bella asked from the bed, she was starting to feel very uncomfortable in her position. Her hands went to the neck brace trying to find a way to remove it.

"Sorry, no-can-do, at least until Dr. Cullen comes in and gives the okay," Roberts said moving her hands to her sides.

Bella huffed at him, "Fine."

"Feisty, aren't we?" Roberts teased.

_Is he flirting? Oh my God, is this guy for real?_

Bella didn't answer not wanting to give him to get any ideas, she just rolled hey eyes and waited for the questions to begin.

**

Edward hanged up the phone, trying his best not to look affected by the one-sided conversation he just had with Jacob Black.

_Married, he's married to another woman?_

_I was sure; he would step in as soon as I left Forks. _

Not wanting to waste time, or bring unwanted memories in his brain Edward turned to the receptionist.

"Make sure you have all the paper work settled for this patient." Edward said to the receptionist handing her the insurance card back.

"Sure thing, Dr. Cullen." She replied batting her eyelashes.

Edward tried his best not to roll his eyes, after giving her a weak smile he left to find the results of Bella's CAT-scan. When he finally analyzed the scans, he was relieved to find that she had no serious internal injuries; like he suspected, one her lungs had been punctured because of the impact, however the chest tube would help drain the lung. She would have to stay in the hospital for a few days in observation, the chest tube could lead to potential infections and there could always be complications.

After scrutinizing every single scan, Edward felt confident enough to move her to the surgical floor. In all honesty, she wasn't very beaten up and could probably be moved to internal medicine. However, he didn't feel comfortable passing her care to another section of the hospital. No one would question his motives, so without second thought, Edward assigned Bella's transfer to a private room in the surgical floor.

When Edward realized he couldn't postpone it anymore. He went to check up on Bella; they were in another little emergency room, Bella was still lying flat on the bed with the neck brace in place, both interns were asking protocol questions. Roberts doing the physical exam as Evans wrote in the chart. Edward leaned against the doorframe letting them run the show.

He looked at Bella who looked annoyed at the attention; Edward remembered all the times she hated coming to the ER to answer the same questions and how she would beg to be released as soon as possible.

"Okay, done with family history, on to the accident. Bella, do you remember what happened?" Evans asked.

"I was very tired- I hadn't slept in two days- so, I guess I felt asleep on the wheel and before I knew it I crashed."

"Do you remember hitting your head?"

"No, but I hit something from the side." Bella said with a wince.

"Okay, lets check for reflexes," Evans replied.

Roberts stepped in, flashing her eyes with a penlight. Bella sighed; she was starting to get very annoyed at the whole situation.

_They already know what is wrong with me, what's the point?_

Trying to distract herself from the annoying task at hand Bella tried to think about what would happen when she finally saw Edward. She felt butterflies in her stomach at that thought; talking to him wouldn't be easy, that was for sure. Yet, she would give anything for one chance to explain the reasons behind her actions all those years ago.

While her mind considered the possible scenarios of the conversation she longed to have with Edward, Roberts had been examining her reflexes; he moved to her bare feet and using a pen to check for sensory response he traced the outline of the pen on the sole of her foot. Startled at the unexpected contact, Bella's first instinct was to kick her leg up, unintentionally kicking Roberts' jaw.

"Umf" Roberts quickly stepped away accidentally tripping over a table with bandages, when he hit the ground the impact made him bite his lower lip drawing blood instantly. He groaned in pain, his hand flying to his mouth.

_Great! Even strapped to a bed I managed to cause some sort of accident. Nice one Bella!_ If she could, Bella would've given anything to run away and hide in embarrassment; she could feel the blush in her cheeks.

Edward, who had witnessed the whole scene, couldn't hold his laughter. Evan's quickly joined in while Roberts stood up and nursed his bleeding lip. Stepping into the room, Edward grabbed Roberts' face to look at cut.

"You shouldn't have leaned in that close, you never know how the patient might react," he chucked. "Evans, stitch him up, I'll finish this," he added.

Bella's heart-which was being monitored by a machine since they settled her- spiked up at the sound of Edward's laugh. Now, that she was aware of whom the voice belonged to, she felt silly for not recognizing it earlier.

Moving her head around, she realized she still couldn't see him because of the limitations on her neck. She heard him move into the room, and then usher the interns outside.

The air in the room stiffened remarkably, the tension so palpable it was hard for Edward to move. Finding the courage he didn't know possessed, he stepped into Bella's line of vision.

When her light brown eyes met his green ones, he immediately felt his heart skip a beat and his stomach dip with emotion. He found himself unable to say anything. She looked so vulnerable and so beautiful at the same time; struggling for something to say he heard her break the silence.

"Can I sit up?" She whispered.

Not trusting his voice, he nodded. With knowing fingers he pushed the right buttons on the bed to move her to a sitting position. It took a few torturous seconds for the bed to reach the correct position. When it finally did, Bella winced at the strain in her neck, her hands moving automatically to it.

"Let me check that," he said.

Edward sat on the edge of the bed, wanting more than anything to feel her close. After he removed the contraption, his expert hands gently examined her neck. Bella closed her eyes at the contact; the traitorous heart monitor announcing the thrill of his touch.

Edward couldn't help it, the familiar feeling of her warm skin on his cold hands made him forget he was her doctor. Without regard to his inappropriate touch, he kept one hand gently on her neck while the other one moved to her cheek.

Bella leaned into his touch; the feeling of completeness was not lost to her. Edward allowed himself to _really_ look at her for the first time since he saw her in the ER. Her hair was longer, fuller, and it curled at the ends; her face was thinner, more delicate than it was when she was younger, it made her cheekbones and eyes a lot more prominent than he remember; her lips looked exactly the same, and even if her eyes were closed he knew they held the same light in them. She looked older, but so much more attractive than he remembered, she wasn't old at all, but she looked like a woman instead of a teenager. Edward had never been more attracted to someone in his entire life.

He pressed the hand on her cheek just a little bit harder, not wanting the illusion of her to go away. Not caring if his touch was unwanted, he moved his thumb gently over her slightly parted lips. They felt just as soft as he remembered.

"Hello, Bella." He heard his voice say, he didn't even register his brain making the command.

Bella's eyes snapped up at the sound of her name on his lips. She had been so engrossed on his touch that she had neglected his sight out of fear she would wake up from an amazing dream. Nonetheless, the moment her eyes captured his green ones, she knew her vivid imagination could ever conjure such a wonderful shade of green. His bronze hair was as wild as ever, a little shorter than it had been when they were still together; while he didn't look old, the consequences of his stressful job had begun to leave slight marks on his eyes making him look wiser and still very attractive; his strong jaw was still visible under the faint stubble. Bella noticed these differences immediately, but under all of them, she still saw Edward and for the first time in a long time she genuinely smiled.

"Hello, Edward," she replied.

Her smile brightened the room, the tense atmosphere disappearing, keeping his hands on her Edward smiled too. The moment was perfect, their connection felt stronger than ever, his simple touch was enough to make Bella realize the love she once felt for him was still there, never forgotten or replaced, just buried deep within her because of the pain his absence made her feel.

Giving herself into the moment Bella didn't care if it had been years since they had seeing each other; shutting her eyes she leaned in slowly, closing the gap between them and ignoring the searing pain in her neck and torso. Edward felt her shift, instinctively his hand moved to her hair, threading his fingers in it as she moved closed to him. He started to lean in, anticipating the kiss his body ached for.

"No, I will see her NOW." Jacob's voice bellowed in the hallway.

Snapping out of his trance, Edward swiftly untangled himself from Bella and practically jumped from the bed. It took Bella, half a second to process what had happened; disappointment ran over her as she saw Edward stiffen at her bedside and his demeanor changing instantly.

Not a second had passed when Jacob blazed through the door. "Bells?" He asked in a panic.

Bella was too disappointed to answer, her eyes were locked in Edward's form, who in turn, wouldn't look up from her chart. Before she knew it Jacob was at her side pulling her into a painful hug.

"Arg, Jake, it hurts!" She screamed in pain.

Jacob promptly released her, with tears in his eyes he looked at her apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Bells."

"Mr. Black, I told you to wait for the doctor!" the receptionist scolded, "I'm sorry Dr. Cullen, this man just won't see reason."

Edward nodded, dismissing her with his hand. He was afraid to look up, he has sure the disappointment he felt was written all over his face. He felt the receptionist leave and shut the door with force. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_Great. You've seen her for five minutes and already made a fool of yourself. _Before Edward could chastise himself even more, his thoughts were interrupted by sweet voice.

"How are you feeling, Bella?"

Edward looked up to see a tall blonde woman lean over the other side of Bella's bed. He assumed she was Jacob's wife. He was surprised to find she was quite attractive herself; impressed by Jacob's luck Edward allowed himself to glance at the man he was never comfortable with.

_Jesus, he's huge! _

Edward noticed Jacob had grown even more since they last saw each other, even sitting in Bella's bed, he knew he would be taller than him and he looked as bulky as Emmett.

"In pain," Bella replied honestly.

On cue, Edward went into "doctor mode." Clearing his throat he felt Jacob's stare on him.

"Bella has a collapsed lung that we're draining with a chest tube," Edward said indicating the tube going out of Bella's robe. "She's got two broken ribs, and some bruising, but other than that she's okay. She'll have to stay here for a couple of days while we drain the lung." He finished looking directly at Vanessa, who was the only person in the room whom he had no problem with.

"How much is a couple of days?" Jacob asked, Edward had no choice but to look at him.

"Three days…Five tops," he replied, "of course, depending on her not getting any infections."

Jacob opened his mouth but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Roberts stepped in, his lip stitched up and slightly swollen.

"You look weak, but you sure carry a kick," Roberts commented, unaware of the tension in the room.

Bella blushed ready to apologize but Jacob cut her off, "She's got a mean punch too."

Bella glared at Jacob, while Vanessa giggled, "I don't find that hard to believe at all" Roberts replied.

"Is there something you wanted Dr. Roberts?" Edward interrupted angrily.

"Um, yeah, Shelly said Mr. Black still needed to sign some paperwork."

Jacob nodded standing up, he looked at Edward meaningfully and Edward knew he wanted to talk to him.

"Roberts, move Ms. Swan to her room, and try not to hurt yourself more, I'll accompany Mr. Black to the front desk," Edward ordered.

Bella looked panicked for a moment.

_Edward and Jacob together alone, no! _

_That won't be good. _

Instinctively Bella grabbed Jacob's hand giving him a pleading look, to which he replied a simple "Calm down."

Before Bella could protest, both men left the room in haste. Once outside, Jacob wasted no time, "Thanks."

Edward eyed him curiously as they strolled down the hallway, "For what?"

"For telling me she was okay, and for treating her." Jacob replied honestly.

"It's my job."

"Yes, but," Jacob paused, suddenly stopping on his tracks making Edward stop too. "Listen, I'm sorry for what happened, and I'm just grateful you were here tonight to save her."

"It wasn't as bad as it seemed," Edward replied.

"Dude, you don't get it. She means the world to me." Jacob took a step back at Edward's expression. "Not like that, not like before, she's my sister, and I love my wife. I'm just trying to say I'm sorry for what happened with you guys. And thank you for tonight."

Edward was speechless, Jacob's sincerity surprised him, but also brought back memories of what Edward normally avoided with all his willpower.

"Don't forget to sign whatever she needs." Edward said curtly before disappearing into a new hallway leaving Jacob alone in the open area of the hospital.

When he was far enough from Jacob, Edward stepped into the first on-call room he found. After making sure it was locked Edward leaned against the door, sliding on it until he reached the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees, and pressed his palms over his eyes knowing it was to late to suppress his most dreaded memory.

**August 2005**

Edward pushed the heavy wooden door with much force than necessary. The cold rain instantly hitting his face, his mind screamed for him to get away from this place as soon as possible. The weird "fight or flight" instinct kicking in, not wanting to hurt her for her acts he decided to leave Forks. Making a Bee-line for his Volvo he couldn't look back.

"Edward, please wait!" Bella shouted over the thunder and rain.

The sound of her pleas making his body tense; he found himself unable to go on.

_Ignore her, just keep going._

His mind pleaded with him to go on and get into his car, to drive away from the confusion, away from the pain, away from her. But as always when it came to Bella, his heart stopped him from moving.

He turned around to find her a few steps back from him. Her hair soaked, clinging to her face and neck. The mascara-Alice had applied earlier- running in black smudges down her cheeks. Her delicate white dress flowing with the wind and clinging to her skin as the wet fabric made contact with her body.

_God, why do I still find her beautiful?_

She still looked beautiful in the white dress. Maybe it was because the white wet fabric hugged her body like a second skin, reminding Edward not only of her loveliness but also of his never ending lust he felt for her. Reminding him, of everything the white represented, everything he had longed for.

_In another time I would've thanked the vision of her body, not now._

"WHAT?!" He yelled at her.

Edward couldn't control his emotions. All the anger, the lust, and the sheer love- that at this second caused him more pain than anything he ever experienced- confounded his senses. He couldn't understand what he felt. He wanted to shake her! To ask her why she had hurt him so?

_Didn't she ever love me?_

Bella just stood there. Tears falling freely from her eyes. She was sure her makeup was ruined and very aware that the particular fabric of the dress left nothing to the imagination. She wanted to apologize, to explain to him that she never meant to hurt him. It just happened and she wasn't ready. But no words could describe what she felt, or justify what she had just done.

_How can I explain what he now knows? _

_I don't deserve him._

"Isabella, why?," he questioned, "Just, why? Don't you..." His voice cracked.

He couldn't finish the sentence. A million thoughts running through his mind, and if possible he picked the least important one.

_Don't you love me? Don't you want me? Don't you care?_

"...Don't you want to marry me?" He finished breaking their gaze.

Edward couldn't look at her. He knew the answer- her actions warranted no words- but he could not find the courage to look at her while she denied her love for him. He did the next thing he could thing of. Clenching his hands so hard they might snap; he closed his eyes and threw his face up. He let the cool rain soothe his features, hoping the little droplets of water would masquerade his own tears.

"Edward, I'm sorry" her voice came out in a whisper.

That was the moment his world crumbled to his feet.

Heartbroken and defeated, Edward nodded and turned around to do the one thing he never though he would. Without glancing back at Bella's crumpled form, Edward walked away from her.

**August 2014**

That was the last time Edward saw Bella, that same night he packed a few belongings and took a plane to New Hampshire where he had already planned to move with Bella for college.

It was weeks before Edward could get out of his depression, Emmett and Alice who had accompanied him- not wanting him to leave alone- were the ones who finally made him go on with his life.

At first all he knew was anger and disappointment, he never wanted to see Bella again. However, in the back of his mind, the thought that she would somehow appear on Dartmouth and ask him back filled his heart with hope. Even after months of not seeing her, he dreamed she would come to him.

She never did.

After a while, Edward learned not to look for her in the crowds. Not to think of her every second of the day, not to feel tempted to call. She never did, which made things easier for himself. He buried himself in schoolwork, finding routine as his only ally. He made it through a whole year without her before he noticed he didn't really need her to breathe.

Now, here he was almost ten years later, and he had just realized he had never kicked the habit. All this time he had been like a recovering junkie, fighting every single day to deny himself the pleasure of his drug.

_Like a drug. My very own brand of heroin. _Edward thought bitterly.

Like a junkie, he had a glimpse of his drug and was almost weak enough to taste it again. Edward punched the ground furiously, fresh tears falling from his eyes. The throbbing pain causing a new sense of clarity.

_No, she will not break me again. _

_

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_

so yeah, poor Edward, but before you go around hating Bella, remember she still needs to explain what happened. I made this chapter extra long because we've been stuck on the same day for 6 chapters!! don't worry after this, plot will flow more quickly, we wont spent another 6 chapters in one day! I promise!!

wow, I hope you guys liked the long chapter, cause I have finals next week so its going to be kinda busy. But after that I have a whole month free to update frequently!! :D

I wanna take take this time to also plug a one shot I did a while ago that didn't get to many reviews!! it might not be good, but if you haven't read it please head over to my profile page and check it out; its called : **MORE.**

I'm also working on a new project I can't talk about right now, cause its still in the works.. but as soon as I can I'll tell you all about it!! its trully amazing!

Also. **A Tale of Two Edwards**, my cowrite with XShear, should be updated soon or maybe even before this chapter soo please check it out! I promise you won't regret it!!

and finally check out **XShear**'s stories! her fic **Unknown** is amazing and I absolutely adore it!

sheesh! this is a long end note!! LOL.. sorry for the rant!! **PLEASE REVIEW!! **


	8. Chapter 7

So, Bella and Edward get closer... but they need to straighten out some stuff.

There is no flashback in this chapter, I felt like they needed to stay in the "present" and settle some questions before moving back. Next chapter will have some happy times of the "past", just beacuse I feel its needed. :P

This chapter is a bit angsty, but it is needed!

Becca, love, as always thank you for keeping me sane! I love you BYOTCH!

thanks to everyone who is sticking out with my lack of updates, but I assure you! this story will go on! :P!! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS!! it really keeps my focus!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

* * *

Bella had slept soundly much thanks to the wonderful pain medication the hospital had provided last night. She woke up around eleven; her eyelashes were stuck together with old mascara chunks and her hair was a tangled mess that had obscured her vision. Her back and neck were as stiff as could be, making the bed very uncomfortable on her sore and tender muscles.

Bella groaned, moving her hair out of her face she tried to sit up; shooting pain came from her left side and she winced audibly.

"Bella! Here let me help you," a sweet chimed in.

Vanessa saw Bella struggle and quickly moved to help her. She moved the controls of the bed so it was in a sitting position and filled a glass with water offering it to her.

"How are you feeling?" Nessie asked.

Bella finished most of the glass before answering, "Like hell."

Nessie smiled eying her friend. Bella and Nessie were good friends who often joined forces against Jacob; she had been as worried as her husband when they received the call from the hospital. In all honesty, Bella still looked like hell; yet, she seemed to be okay and that put her mind at ease.

"You look like hell, actually," Nessie commented.

"Thank you, _Vanessa_, that is very sweet of you," Bella replied sarcastically.

"Hey, you said it. I'm just confirming," Nessie said taking the glass from Bella and placing it on the beside table."You gave us quite a scare."

Bella looked at her guiltily. "I know… I'm sorry, how did he take it?"

Nessie sighed moving to sit on the edge of Bella's bed.

"Jake down right panicked for a moment, but when Dr. Cullen told him you were going to be fine he calmed down," Nessie said taking Bella's hand for reassurance.

Bella tried not to get distracted at the mention of 'Dr. Cullen,' but it proved harder than expected.

Nessie could detect the glint of her eyes when the doctor's name was uttered, it was easy for her to read Bella's reactions. Nessie was dying to bombard her friend with questions about the mysterious Edward, the man who still held that much power over her friend's emotions.

"So, this Edward…" Nessie started but Bella interrupted her.

"Where's Jake?"

The question was enough to change the mood of the conversation instantly; Nessie looked sheepishly at Bella.

"Bells, Jake thought it was only fair...you know how Charlie worries and-"

Bella's eyes widened at the realization. "He told Charlie?" she shouted.

"Um, yeah," Nessie answered more as a question than a statement.

"Great! Nessie, you know how he gets! Why didn't he wait?" Bella cried, outraged.

"I told him to wait, but you know he never listens," Nessie defended, "be reasonable, Bella, you know Charlie would've freaked if we didn't tell him and you just didn't show up this weekend."

Bella sighed shaking her head; last night she didn't have time to talk to Jacob after he burst into her room. After he left with Edward, the nurse gave her a sedative that knocked her unconscious untill this morning.

"So, how did it go?" Bella finally asked.

"Around nine-ish Jacob called Charlie to let him know about the accident; obviously, Charlie freaked and demanded to talk to you but Jacob said you were still sleeping. Charlie wanted to make sure you were okay, so Jacob went to get him," Nessie explained smiling apologetically at Bella.

"He was supposed to go to therapy today," Bella said angrily.

"I know... but, Bells, come on!" Nessie chastised her, "He is your dad, and after what happened to Billy and him, do you really expect him to sit back and wait for you to get better?"

"No, I guess you're right. I just didn't want to worry him," Bella said in a small voice.

She suddenly felt like crying; as if it wasn't enough that her body felt like shit, she also had to go around and make everyone worried about her. Part of the reason Jacob was listed as her emergency contact was so she could spare Charlie from the drama- that, and of course, Jacob's proximity.

Trying to fight back the tears, Bella started planning her conversation with Charlie; she would explain how it was no big deal- she really didn't feel all that bad. She would tell him that the hospitalization was more of a doctor's recommendation than a necessity. That thought made her remember Edward, and the almost-kiss they shared the night before.

_Was he really going to kiss me? _

She replayed last night's events on her mind, analyzing every single detail of their brief encounter. She recalled the way he looked- so different yet the same- the way he moved, the way he looked at her.

For a moment she was sure Edward looked at her in the same way he had always looked her- with love.

Bella interrupted that thought instantly, she would not allow herself false hopes and fantasies. However, she couldn't help but notice the way she felt: elated, excited, fearful, and _happy_ all at the same time.

"So, are you gonna tell me what's the deal with your doctor?" Nessie interrupted her thoughts.

Bella's head snapped up, her neck muscles protesting. She winced before asking, "What?"

"Its him, isn't it? The guy you almost married?" Nessie blurted out, instantly regretting her bluntness at Bella's expression.

The excitement Bella felt at seeing Edward again vanished with that question, dread replaced the excitement.

"Yeah… that's Edward," Bella answered in a somber tone.

"He's been in here all morning," Nessie said, hoping the information would comfort her friend. "Well, he doesn't actually come in, but I've seen him lurking around the hall at least three times this morning."

_He's been checking up on me? _

Bella smiled looking down at her palms. "Have you talked to him?"

"No, Jake tried to, but he said it didn't go so well."

Bella's smile disappeared, chastising herself for forgetting Jacob's determination to talk to Edward, she knew it couldn't have gone good.

"You loved him a lot, didn't you?" Nessie suddenly asked; she was never one to dance around the conversation.

Vanessa looked into her friend's brown eyes, sensing the struggle to be honest with her. Bella almost never talked about her high school days, and when she did it was in response to question or one of Jacob's comments. She never volunteered any information without prior inquiry.

"Yes," she finally replied with a humorless laugh."I love him… more than anything," she admitted, her voice cracking.

Nessie scooted closer to her on the bed, holding Bella's hands tightly in between her own before asking, "Love?"

Bella eyes widened, tears evident in the sparkling orbs. She noticed the present tense she used, and wondered if she could correct herself. However, looking into Vanessa's eyes, she knew she couldn't deny the truth from her friend, like she couldn't deny it from herself.

Time had passed; it was evident their lives were not at all what they used to be ten years ago, yet the love she felt for Edward was still embedded deep within her. All the sentiments she kept hidden throughout these years arose without warning the moment he stepped into the ER room; unable to control them, and heightened by the pain her body felt, Bella started crying.

She leaned into Nessie's embrace, who in turn wrapped her arms lightly around her, trying her best not to hurt her.

"Shh, Bella, it's going to be okay," Nessie cooed.

Bella sniffed and laughed bitterly, "I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm crying," she said, leaning back on the bed.

"It's okay." Nessie wanted to keep asking about they guy Bella was obviously still in love with, but figured this was not the best time.

"Can I take a shower?" Bella asked, steering the conversation away from the raw emotions.

"That's probably not the best idea without the nurse. But I can help you clean yourself a little bit," Nessie offered.

With the help of a plastic bassinet and the tray table, Bella washed her face and brushed her teeth with the toiletries the hospital provided. Finally she combed her hair back into to a ponytail instantly felling better.

Bella looked at herself in the compact mirror Nessie gave her. She looked at the light bruises in her chin and neck, courtesy of her car's airbag. When she remembered the car, Bella asked Nessie about what now seemed like trivial things; mainly her car, her job, and the hospital's paperwork. Bella trusted Jacob, and it was pleasant to see he had taken everything into account. He had talked to the police about towing the car back to his shop, he had apparently called her office and informed them about everything, and since he had legal power over on her insurance, everything was taken care of.

At twelve o clock, a nurse came in with the lunch tray, but Bella wasn't really hungry. After being reprimanded by both the nurse and Vanessa, she begrudgingly took a green gelatin and started eating it.

"Bella, don't be a child and eat the freaking meal," Nessie complained while Bella pouted poking the gelatin.

"Does it have asparagus?" an amused voice said from the doorway.

Both women glanced up to see Edward leaning on the doorway looking at them. Nessie was the first one to recover eyeing the plate then back at Edward.

"Yeah," Nessie said.

Edward chuckled shaking his head. "Bella hates asparagus," he answered, silently implying it was the most known fact in the world.

"Oh, right," Nessie said giving Bella a "_say something" _look. It was wasted though, when she discovered Bella hadn't taken her eyes off Edward.

Changing the curse of action, Nessie stood up purposely bumping the bed with her legs. She slight movement made Bella look up at her.

"I'm gonna go get you something else from the cafeteria. Is that alright, Dr. Cullen?"

"Sure," Edward replied stepping aside to let her through.

Edward looked at Bella nervously, after his breakdown in the on-call room he promised himself he would not let his emotions show around her. However, he still felt an urge to be near her.

After trying –very unsuccessfully- to get some sleep, he did his morning rounds. These gave him the oportunity to pass by her room a couple of times; he hoped he had been discreet enough, however, Vanessa's actions proved otherwise.

He had seen Jacob move around the hospital on his cell phone; Edward had evaded him for the most part hoping he wouldn't try to talk to him again. He knew it was childish to evade a patient's family, but he didn't care. Jacob Black was lucky enough Edward had never given into the sweet temptation of punching him in the face- something that Edward thought Jacob wholly deserved.

He had tried to stay away, but when he spotted the asparagus on the leftover lunch trays he couldn't help himself. He made his way back to Bella's room, pleased to see her up.

She had cleaned up, her hair was tied back and her face clean, he was reminded of the nights he used to sneak up her room just after she had taken a shower. He would climb up to her window, which she always left semi-open, and wait for her as she finished her nightly ritual.

"You did it," Bella said interrupting his memories.

"Excuse me?" Edward was confused at her statement.

He watched Bella blush and look down at her hands. "You're a doctor. I always knew you would make it, but seeing it," she chuckled, "to experience it, knowing you did what you always wanted," she paused.

She knew she had revealed too much of her thoughts. Bella looked up to see Edward standing in front of her bed looking amazed at her words.

"It's silly," she continued, "but, it makes me proud."

_Oh, my God, did I just say that?_ Bella thought, panicked at her sudden honesty.

Edward smiled feeling himself blush a little. He perked up and felt immensely happy by her confession. It wasn't as if no one had ever congratulated him on his accomplishments; Carlisle and Esme reminded him of how proud they were every time he spoke with them. His siblings, even if they teased him endlessly for his workaholic tendencies, made it clear that they were also very proud of him. Tanya had mentioned once or twice how he admired Edward's commitment to a job 'she'd never he happy in' which he took as compliment; and even his mentors had expressed their congratulations on more than one occasion; yet, if Edward was honest with himself none of those times felt like this particular moment, with Bella.

It could be because it was in his talks with her that he discovered Medicine was something he was passionate about. Or maybe, that most of his care-giver side flourished while taking care of her many cuts and bruises. Perhaps, it was that when he first thought of a future as a doctor; in his fantasies, she was the one waiting for him at home. He didn't know, and it was scary how a simple sentence from her could make him feel like he had done the most important thing in this world.

He tried to hide his delight. "Thank you, you of all people knows how much I wanted this."

Bella was still embarrassed, Edward sensing her discomfort changed the subject. "How are you feeling?" he asked moving to her injured side.

"I… eh… it hurts?" she said more as a question.

Edward had reached her injured side and moved Nessie's chair out of the way. He turned to Bella, grabbed her left arm and gently positioned it above her head. The spark that both of them felt at the small contact went unmentioned, but not unnoticed by both parties. However, the wince Bella made at the stretching of her torso was not ignored, by Edward.

"I'm sorry, but your ribs will hurt for a while, we can always give you some vicodin if you want," Edward said nonchalantly while obviously teasing Bella on her poor tolerance for sedatives, something he had experienced first hand.

Bella glared at him. "Ha, ha, very funny."

Edward chuckled this time, "Sorry, it was too easy. But let the nurse know if the pain gets to uncomfortable, okay?" He looked over her side, moving her robe and checking the incision bellow the bandages.

He felt her stiffen against his touch. He looked up and saw Bella looking at the ceiling, an obvious flustered blush all over her cheeks. It was then, that Edward realized how uncomfortable his proximity could be; after all, the tube inserted to drain the lung had to be placed right bellow her breast. He hadn't thought much about the consequences of being her doctor, but now the repercussions felt more real than ever. He stepped back looking at her.

"I can bring the nurse in to the examination, or have one of the interns check on you if that makes you feel better," he said apologetically.

She turned to look at him her eyes wide. "No, no, I'm sorry, that was just… sudden."

"Are you sure?... This is strictly on a professional capacity," he tried to use a serious tone, "but, given our previous… relationship," he paused for a moment, "maybe, it's best if..."

"Edward, it's okay. I'm not uncomfortable… and to be honest, I'd rather it was you than any other doctor," she said reassuringly.

"It's just, your hands are freezing!" she complained, trying to lighten the mood.

For Bella it wasn't uncomfortable to have Edward look at her; sure, it had been a shock to have his hands touch her body, even if it felt completely different than the other times. He was, obviously, very professional; it felt just like any doctor's examinations. There were no groping or innuendos; there was nothing sexual in his touch. Yet, to Bella, it felt safe.

After the examination Edward covered her up again and wrote some notes on her chart.

"Everything seems okay. In two days we'll make another set of X-rays to make sure the lung is completely healed. The ribs will take the longest, but you'll just have to be careful with those." He looked up to see her annoyed look again.

"Meaning, don't trip over your own two feet and you'll be okay?" she snorted.

"Basically, yes," he smiled setting her chart back in place.

"For your information, _Dr. Cullen_, my balance problem has improved. I don't trip… as often," Bella said carefully crossing her arms, the pout Edward found so endearing making an appearance.

_God, she hasn't changed at all. _

A part of him was relieved to see they could still get along, it was very easy for him to tease her back and he felt at ease with her.

_I guess time does heal all. _Edward thought sadly.

"She's evolved from tripping to crashing," a sad voice said from the doorway.

Edward saw Bella's uncomfortable expression before turning to face the new visitor. He never expected to see an angry Charlie Swan sitting in a wheelchair being pushed by Jacob Black.

Edward wasn't able to hide the surprise on his face. Charlie Swan, a man who always looked as strong as bull, was in front of him looking thin and tired. His gray, balding hair still had traces of brown- the same shade he had passed on to Bella, his eyes were furious, and his lips were pressed so tight that they were almost white. It reminded Edward of the time Charlie had caught Bella and him parked near the woods on one of his patrols. It took every persuasive power Bella had, for Charlie not to arrest Edward on the spot. Even if the familiar scowl made Edward remember the fierceness this man still processed, there was no denying his body was not at all what Edward remembered.

Jacob looked at Edward apologetically, as if saying, _'I'm sorry you found out this way'._ Edward shook his head, silently telling him it didn't matter.

"Edward! Jacob told me you're Bella's doctor, thank you for everything, son," Charlie said rolling towards Edward and stretching his hand.

Edward took his hand and shook it. "You don't have to thank me, Chief."

Charlie smiled, the gesture made him look younger. "Well, son, I'm not the Chief anymore," he said patting the chair, his tone was friendly- something that had never been in the past.

"But, it's nice to see _someone_ here still remembers who the authority is." Charlie looked at Jacob, then at Bella meaningfully.

Bella, who saw Edward's surprise at her father's state, wanted to end the encounter. She wondered why no-one in his family ever told him of Charlie's condition, the accident he suffered had been the cause of much gossip back in Forks.

_What did you expect? He's never been back in town, not that you know at least. _She thought bitterly.

"Dad, don't you have therapy today?" Bella asked, pointedly ignoring the authority comment.

"Well, my daughter crashing head first into a street light seemed more important than stretching my legs," Charlie answered hotly.

"To be fair, it wasn't exactly _head first_, it was more like _sideways_," Jacob said motioning with his hands and stopping as soon as he saw both Bella and Charlie shoot him equal glares.

Jacob raised his hands on defeat. "Doc, care to show me where the cafeteria is?" he asked Edward, giving him a look that meant, _'Run away as fast as you can!' _

Edward didn't miss the tension in the room, or Jacob's warning. After giving one last look at Bella -who was having a "stare off" with her father- he turned to Jacob.

"Sure," he replied to Jacob then turning to Charlie, "it was nice seeing you again, sir," he said shaking Charlie's hand once more.

Charlie smiled genuinely at him before rolling closer to Bella's bed. Bella chose to ignore the exchange, pressing her hand over her eyes she prepared for the inevitable confrontation.

Once Jacob and Edward closed the door, a muffled, "How could you be so careless, Bella?" was heard.

Both men stepped away from the room heading to the elevators, Edward was caught in his own thoughts.

"I take it you didn't know?" Jacob asked, braking the silence.

Edward shook his head. "No, is he completely paralyzed?'

They had reached the elevators, but no one pressed the button. "No, he's been in therapy for a while. He can move his legs now, even walk a little bit, but they're still not strong enough to hold him a whole day. For a while, most doctors said he would never walk again, but Dr. Cullen kept making tests… he told us with extensive therapy he would be okay."

Edward contemplated what Jacob said. _Carlisle knew? And he never mentioned it?_ The thought angered him; he was going to have a talk with his father.

"When?" Edward pressed, suddenly it was very important to know.

"A week before Bella planned to leave for Dartmouth," Jacob answered looking at Edward's paling face, "Charlie and my dad went fishing like every other Sunday, it was raining, and on their way back a trucker lost control and smashed right into Charlie's car."

To Jacob, telling this story was automatic; he was there when it happened so he was numb to the information, yet he could tell Edward was having a hard time processing it.

"And, your dad?" Edward asked, concerned.

"He… didn't make it," Jacob said solemnly.

Edward's head snapped up, he looked into Jacob's sad eyes. He was unable to conjure a better thing to say than, "I'm sorry, man. I… didn't know."

Jacob shrugged like it was no big deal. "It's okay, it was a shitty year. But we pulled it through." He smiled and patted Edward's back.

Edward knew by: _we, _Jacob meant him and Bella.

"Didn't you ever wonder why Bella never went after you?" Jacob asked.

Edward was taken aback; no one had ever asked that question out loud, not to him at least. However, Jacob was nothing if not outspoken.

"I thought she just didn't want to," Edward answered honestly.

Jacob laughed bitterly shacking his head. "Dude, no offense, but you're as much as a dickhead as I remember."

"Watch it," Edward growled.

"Sorry, sorry. But, come on!" Jacob whined as if Edward wasn't getting the big picture.

"I think _you_ of all people will understand why I thought that!" Edward's voice rose with every word.

"Hey, man, it's not my fault you never bothered to check!" Jacob was near shouting too.

Before the argument could escalade, the elevator doors opened.

"Good, you're here. Is Charlie with her?" Nessie asked stepping out of the elevator.

When she stepped closer she felt the tension between the two men. "Is everything alright?'

"Yeah," both of them answered defiantly.

"Listen, man. I'm not sixteen anymore, and I don't want to fight, but you're not making it easy. I'm just telling you what I know," Jacob calmly said.

Edward sighed, "Thanks."

"At least now you know why we freak out over little car accidents," Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah… I really am sorry… about your Dad."

"Thanks," Jacob smiled sadly.

"Watch over Bella, okay. Let me know if she's in pain, she's too stubborn for her own good."

With a laugh Jacob and Vanessa nodded. Edward left them, he had a surgery he had to prepare for.

**

For the rest of the day, Edward was able to push aside any thoughts of Bella, as he busied himself with work. He got updated on his patients conditions thanks to his interns, so he knew Bella's family hadn't left the room until visiting hours were over.

Edward's shift ended at seven, nevertheless, he stayed to help a nurse change some bandages, to look over some discharges. At eleven he was finally out of the locker rooms, freshly showered with his backpack set upon his shoulders.

He played with the idea of picking up some dinner from the cafeteria, but he knew he was stalling; what he really wanted was to check up on Bella one last time before heading home to an empty apartment.

Surrendering to the pull, Edward headed to Bella's room, half expecting to see her asleep. However, he was pleasantly surprised to find her on the same sitting position he had left her in, the room was lit by one of the bedside lamps and the TV lights. Her eyes were transfixed on the program, so much so, that she didn't immediately notice Edward standing at the doorway, looking at her.

From his position he couldn't see the screen, since the TV was attached to the hospital bed, but he could hear a lot censored cursing and screaming. He cleared his throat loudly, not wanting to startle her.

Bella looked up to find Edward looking at her, blushing embarrassedly she pushed the monitor aside. "Hey," she said with a smile.

"Hi. What are you watching?" he asked straightening his backpack.

"Um… I…"

As Bella stumbled with her words Edward stepped closer and looked at the monitor screen; holding back a laugh he answered for her, "The Maury Show?"

Bella blushed and justified herself. "It's not that bad, besides, there's nothing better on," she whined crossing her arms and defiantly.

Edward couldn't contain his amusement, he eyed the empty chair next to Bella's bed, silently gesturing if it was okay for him to sit. Bella nodded trying to hide her embarrassment. She reached for the monitor, trying to change the channel.

"Wait. Don't you want to see how it ends?" Edward taunted.

Bella said nothing, opting to lean back and pay attention to the program. It was all for show, the moment she had seen him her stomach did a back flip and her pulse raced, she silently thanked God she was not strapped to a heart monitor.

She had wondered all day when she would see him again, and was very disappointed when one of the interns had come back up to check on her. She tried to pay attention to her dad and the others in their mundane conversations but her mind had been on Edward all the time.

"So, what are they arguing about?" he asked pointing to the TV.

The volume had been turned down, so he couldn't really hear what was going on.

"That lady, well, the recap said she had revealed to her husband that she cheated on him with her brother, and that their baby might not be his," she paused glancing nervously at Edward, who in turn had raised his eyebrows, "now, they're back to do a paternity test."

Edward eyed her. "And you find this entertaining?"

"Of course," she simply responded turning up the volume.

He knew better than to say anything else, despite her poor choice in programming, he couldn't escape the fact that he still felt comfortable just sitting here beside her. There were a lot of things they needed to discuss, but for now, he was just content watching crappy television with her.

After a few more amusing minutes the host announced neither the husband nor his brother were the father of said baby; Bella gasped in shock, while Edward laughed at the circus that unfolded on the screen.

"Please tell me you don't watch this often."

Bella looked away guiltily. "Well, not all the time…" Edward interrupted her.

"You? The classical literature fanatic? The woman who once scolded Emmett for watching Jerry Springer?" He couldn't contain his laughter any longer; doubling over, he laughed so hard Bella found it hard not to laugh along.

"Jerry Springer is disgusting, besides, I don't really watch a lot of TV, and when I do it's because I can't sleep," Bella defended.

"Okay, okay," Edward settled down.

"What do you do if you don't watch TV?" he asked, eager to know anything about her new life.

"To be honest, not much." She looked at him warily. "I spend weekends on Forks, helping out my dad. Sometimes Angela, Ben, Jacob, Nessie, and I hang out; but mostly I work."

"All the time? What is it that you do?" he pressed.

Bella seemed reluctant, but still answered honestly, "I'm Editor-In-Chief at Townsted Publishers. I take care of advertising our high profile novels, setting up the distributions with the booksellers, promotion tours, and of course, normal editing and meetings with my authors."

"Wow, any author's I know?"

"Um, well, I don't think so, we're most recognized for "Dusk" but you're not exactly our target market," she laughed.

"Dusk? As in, the book teenagers won't stop screaming about?" he asked impressed at her success.

"Yeah, I was supposed to do a press conference today about it." Bella looked down at the tube currently draining her lung. "But, here I am," she finished lamely.

"Are they publishing anything of yours?" Edward remembered her dream of writing.

Bella froze for a second. "No, I'm not a writer, I'm an editor-"

"I know, you said that. I just thought you were writing too." Edward looked at her apologetically, for some reason she seemed offended by his question. "I'm sorry, I thought you still wanted to write."

Bella looked into her emerald eyes, immediately recognizing his sincerity. "No, it's okay. I… well, things never work out how you plan them. Besides, I really have no time to write anything of my own."

Edward sensed her reluctance to go on with the subject. There were so many things he wanted to know about her; some were little things, like if she still liked the same music or if her preferences had changed; some things were bigger, like the specifics on his father's accident. Finding no easy way to get to the answers he needed, he just plunged into it.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me your dad was in an accident?" he asked looking down at his feet.

He didn't want to meet her eyes, he had convinced himself it would be best this way.

Bella's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden change in topic. She expected the conversation, but it still wasn't any easier for her to answer.

Thinking back on that year was not something she did willingly, there was too much pain and struggle for her to revisit those memories without breaking down. However, she was determined to offer as many answers as Edward requested. Wasn't this after all, what she had wished for?

"I didn't think you'd want to know," she said in a low voice.

His face snapped up, his eyes locking his hers. "Why on earth would you think that?"

His featured showed shock, it was almost as if Bella has slapped him with her statement.

"You left Forks. You made it very clear you didn't want to talk to me when you left without letting me explain…" Bella started but Edward cut her off.

"You could've called…" Edward said desperately running a hand through his unruly hair.

"And what would you have done, Edward?" she raised her tone, "Would you have come back and help me? Even after what I did? Even after I called off the wedding?"

"_I_ called off the wedding. I was the one who left…" he matched her tenor.

Breaking their eye contact, Bella looked up holding back tears. "Exactly, Edward. You left, but that didn't mean people blamed you."

"What does that mean?" He was having a hard time controlling his temper.

Bella shook her head. "What does it matter now?"

Edward growled, "It matters when I don't hear from you for ten fucking years, then find out the reason you stayed in Forks was because your father was injured!"

He didn't care if he was close to yelling, he was angry with her. Angry that she kept something like this from him and infuriated with himself for never checking up on her.

"How do you know that?" Bella asked, confused.

Even if it were true, somehow her pride wouldn't let her accept the truth. "Why do you think I stayed because of Charlie?"

Edward sighed. "Jacob told me."

He stood up, sitting on the edge of the bed he looked into her teary eyes once more. His hands itched to touch her, but he kept them still.

"Is it true?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"What?" Bella looked into his eyes trying desperately not to cry.

"That you were going to Dartmouth before the accident happened?"

The question hung in the air for a full second. Each stood their ground, their eyes defying one another for the truth. In the end, Edward won.

"Yes, it's true," Bella admitted looking away, embarrassed that she couldn't lie to him.

Edward reached for her, his hands wining the battle within. He cupped her face, making her turn to look at him again.

"Then why, Bella, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you?" his voice broke slightly.

The moment was bittersweet, the knowledge of all the time they wasted washed over him.

Bella shook her head, she used her hands to pull Edward's away. "Would you have forgiven me? For the wedding, for everything?"

Her eyes were angry, Edward was taken aback by the gesture. "I… I would have made sure you were okay, I-"

Bella interrupted, this time she raised her voice, "Would you have forfeited a year of college, like I did? Would you have helped me nurse him back to health, when for months he wouldn't get up from bed to eat because he was too depressed?"

"I would, if you had asked me," Edward promptly answered without hesitation.

"You never came back, not even for summers," Bella laughed without humor.

"You never asked me too," he answered.

Silence filled the room once more.

"All I had to do…was ask?" Bella asked disbelievingly.

Edward watched her incredulous expression, his heart broke. He understood her reluctance towards his words and knew that he was to blame, and so was she. However, he knew the answer and he hoped she would believe him.

"Yes."

Bella shook her head, she never expected the conversation to take this turn. She scolded herself for loosing control, that was in the past and nothing could change it.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she concluded.

Edward wanted to shake her, to make her believe him. "Bella-"

He was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone. Cursing under his breath he stood up and reached for his cell phone just to make sure it wasn't someone from the hospital. His stomach plummeted when he read the flashing screen.

**Caller ID:  
**

** Tanya**

Reading his girlfriend's name on the screen reminded him of his present reality, one that until yesterday had no Bella in it. There was only Tanya, his _fiancée_, whom he had not remembered since the moment Bella rolled into the ER.

"You're not going to answer that?" Bella asked, knowing Edward's guilty expression by heart.

"I…" He didn't know what to say, he eyed the demanding cell phone.

"I should go to sleep now," Bella interrupted moving the bed controls.

He looked at her, unsure if he should leave this conversation. However the vibrating object in his hand reminded him of what Bella said: _It doesn't matter anymore. _

"Okay." He silenced his cell phone and took his backpack.

Edward felt it was wrong to leave her like this. He wanted to say something, anything that would make her believe even if it didn't matter anymore. He reached the doorway just as Bella turned off the light. He paused and turned back to look at her, he could still make her out in the darkness lying on her uninjured side.

"I waited for you to call, and I wanted to call you... every day, I waited," he said in a small voice.

Bella heard him, wishing she hadn't. There was no way, either of them could ever escape from the _'what ifs'._ She didn't respond, she didn't even breathe. She didn't want to acknowledge his confession.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward said before stepping out of the room.

Even if Bella didn't turn to see him leave, she imagined the way his shoulders sagged in defeat.

Once she heard him step out of the room she finally whispered, "Goodnight, Edward."

* * *

As always, just to remind you to check out: _**A TALE OF TWO EDWARDS,**_ my amazing co-write with the annoyingly lovable, **XShear**.

LET ME KNOW, WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER IN THE LOVELY FORM OF A REVIEW!!!!! please, please, purty, pleeeeqasseee!!!

**REVIEW!!**

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	9. Chapter 8

Hey guys! Here's a little happy times from the 'past' I think we all need a little break from the drama, its not as long as my normal chapters, but hopefully the content will compensate the length.

Thanks to **Becca** for all her insight and support, babe! I love your suggestions and live for our stupid conversations :P! two words: SEX HAIR! LOL

and most importantly, **THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!** for reading this story and leaving your reviews! I live for them!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

* * *

**Spring 2005**

A big thump was heard as Edward jumped in to Bella's bedroom. Getting in had been a little harder today than most days; he stood still for a moment trying hard to control his panting.

_Could you make any more noise?!_

He heard the faint commentary of the game Charlie was watching downstairs and instantly relaxed. Now very aware of all the noises, he moved extra carefully and sat on Bella's bed.

Almost on cue, Bella stepped into the room, her hair wet, a towel wrapped around her while she was holding her clothes to her chest. She scanned the floor quickly, until she found Edward looking at her on her bed. Sighing with relief, she stepped into the room and closed the door quietly.

"I thought you finally broke your neck. That sounded painful," she whispered.

"Thanks for the confidence." Edward responded leaning back into the bed.

Bella locked her door, after setting her clothes in the hamper she picked up a brush and sat beside Edward's lying form.

"Charlie fell asleep watching the game. I think he had an extra night-shift this weekend."

Bella begun brushing her tangled hair; Edward looked at her for a moment, content on just watching her. "That explains why he hasn't burst in here with the shot gun."

Bella snorted. "Well, given your spectacular entrance I wouldn't be amazed if he was on his way."

"Better make it quick then," Edward teased before tackling her onto the bed.

Bella squealed playfully letting Edward pin her down, she threw her arms around his neck laughing.

"Jesus, woman, you're gonna get me killed," he said putting a hand over her giggling mouth.

Both of them stood still for a moment, their ears straining to hear any footsteps only to be greeted by the game commentary.

"Please, we've been louder and he never wakes up," she taunted him.

Her voice along with the memories of those times made Edward's already uncomfortable crotch strain even more. He shifted his position resting his arms on her sides and lifting most of his weight from her. Bella bit her lip mischievously, she was very aware of the effect she was having on him. Taking advantage of the change in position and with the towel still in place, Bella opened her legs and wrapped them lazily around Edward, making the obvious bulge in the pants rest against her.

She lifted her hips slightly, teasing him. "Better?" she asked innocently.

The power that came from Edward's growl washed over her, seeing the effect she had on him made her feel sexy and confident.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Bella asked when Edward didn't respond.

Edward grinned. "I forgot something back at the airport.""

"Oh, really?" Bella raised her eyebrows. "What did you forget?"

"To kiss you good bye." He smiled leaning down so he was inches from her lips.

He brushed his lips against hers, softly kissing her bottom lip. Bella closed her eyes; enjoying the gentleness of his kiss she followed his lead teasing his lips in response. She felt him smile against her, and she giggled before he kissed her more forcefully.

Bella brushed the tip of her tongue over his lip, taunting him. He quickly relented opening his mouth and allowing her a taste of him; it wasn't long before the gentleness was gone and the heat started to pool between their bodies; their tongues battling for dominance earned a growl from Edward. The sudden urge to feel her warm skin winning over his gentlemanly manners.

Without hesitation or timidity Edward lifted his body slightly, allowing some space between their bodies so he could move one hand to untie the towel that covered Bella, backing away from the kiss his emerald eyes scanned her form, admiring her warm naked body. Bella shivered when Edward's fingers brushed against her taut nipples; he chuckled unable to hide his smug satisfaction at the reaction of her body.

"What are you smiling about? Its cold in here," Bella said trying to wipe the smirk of his face, however, she didn't realize her sharp breaths and lustful eyes betrayed her.

"I'm sorry, love. Let me warm you up," Edward replied, smug smirk still in place.

He lowered himself covering her body with his; his mouth moved to her neck kissing and nibbling the soft spot behind her ear to the base of her shoulders. Her soft moans urged him to explore her body further. His hands moved everywhere they could reach, kneading her breasts, pinching her nipples, and rubbing along her waist before dipping to cup her ass pushing it up against him.

Her hands echoed his movements, moving from his hair to his back –where she realized while she was completely naked before him, he hand not even removed his jacket- where she dipped her hands beneath the offending clothing letting her nails scrape along his pale skin. Edward hissed at the feeling, his hips grinding against hers in response.

"You're wearing to many clothes," she complained trying unsuccessfully to tug his pants down.

Without a second thought Edward leaned back on his knees, and quickly got rid of his jacket and t-shirt. Bella soon joined him standing in front of him, taking a moment to look at his toned chest, she ran her hands through it almost reverently. Edward slowed down at the feel of her sweet touch. He stopped just as he unbuckled his belt to look into her eyes.

"I love you, Edward." Her brown eyes sparkled with sincerity; Edward felt his heart flush with emotion.

"I love you too," he whispered. Unable to say how much she meant to him, he decided to show her.

Bella's hands explored his chest, her fingers running down his muscles. She unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down to his knees. Edward pulled her to him, earning a groan from both of them when their chests pressed together. Sneaking an arm around her waist, Edward gently eased Bella on the bed. He kicked his pants off, and kissed her hungrily.

His other hand moved in between them to cup her sex. Bella gasped when his long fingers teased her wet folds. "Don't tease," she whimpered at his light touch.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He flashed his crooked grin before making his way down her body. Sucking and nibbling her skin, leaving a hot trail that made Bella ache for him.

_Smug bastard, he knows exactly what he does to me. _

"Ahh," Bella practically shouted in pleasure when she felt Edward's tongue on her clit.

"Shh, you'll wake Charlie," Edward whispered into her, his hot breath making her folds twitch.

Bella looked down to protest, there was no way she could keep quiet with such pleasure running through her body. Her complaint, however, was cut when she felt Edward's tongue circle against her clit. All her efforts concentrated on simultaneously biting her lip to escape any moans from leaving her body, and keeping her eyes open to the wonderful sight of Edward's wild hair in between her legs.

Despite Bella's efforts her moans were still audible to Edward, ultimate proof of the control he had over her body. Even more so, the delicious juices that emanated from his ministrations. He loved her taste, and the idea of driving her wild with ecstasy. He could feel her restrain herself, so he doubled his efforts; he wanted nothing more than to make her loose control. There was nothing more beautiful, or sexy than a completely inhibited Bella, and he would go to every extent to get her.

Shifting slightly he kept one hand on her hip and moved the other hand in between her legs, forcefully pushing her legs wider apart before dipping two fingers inside her. They glided up her entrance effortlessly, Edward groaned at the feeling of her strong muscles encasing his fingers, he pumped in and out of her slowly.

Bella felt him groan against her. His fingers inside her, his hand holding her hips down, and his glorious mouth sucking and licking at her clit were enough to drive her mad with need. She trashed around the bed, only half aware to not scream in ecstasy. She couldn't take it anymore, she wanted him to make her come, she wanted to let him continue pleasuring her with his sinful mouth until she knew nothing else but pleasure, but she also wanted to please him, more than anything she wanted him inside her.

So it was with great effort that Bella pulled back from him, propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down to see Edward's lustful expression. He rose to his knees again, his eyes glared at her, his mouth glistened with her juices, and somehow it aroused her even more. He was half surprised she jumped back when she was so close, and half mad he couldn't get her off. Before he could say something Bella practically jumped on him. It was pure luck that they didn't fall backwards on the bed.

Bella kissed him fully on the mouth. "Please, Edward, I want you… inside me… now." She pushed his boxers down and grasped his cock.

It was all she had to say, not caring if he was gentle or forceful, Edward pushed her into the bed. He was so hard it hurt; he wanted to plunge into her and fuck her until she screamed his name.

He leaned down to kiss her, while he guided himself into her. With one fluid thrust he impaled himself on her. Their kiss muffled their cries of pleasure, the foreplay was over and now there was nothing but raw need.

Edward thrust his hips over and over again into Bella, while she met his rhythm with fervor. He rested his head on the crook of her neck, her fresh freesia smell from her shower mixing with the scent of their love making, while Bella's arms circled around his back, her head pressed against his shoulder, she breathed in his sweet seductive scent.

The combination of his scent, his touch, the sound of his low grunts, his deep thrusts kept her at the edge of bliss. "Edward," she moaned into his skin.

Edward lifted his head to look at her, their eyes met for a second, and Bella let herself fall into her pleasure. He felt her muscles clench around him, his nails dig into his back, saw her bite her lip holding her screams, and it was enough for him to succumb to his own orgasm, with two more thrusts he finally spilled into her moaning her name.

He collapsed into her, feeling her pant beneath him he shifted his weight to his arms. He lifted himself to look at her satisfied smile, the sex-afterglow made her look exquisite in Edward's eyes. Bella felt giddy, and smug with delight, it was always easy to forget all her insecurities just after she made love to Edward, knowing they had a connection like that, knowing they bodies fit so perfectly- almost like they were made for each other-made her forget that most of the time she felt like she didn't deserve him.

In this moment they were equals, two lovers basking in the afterglow of sex; she lived for these moments- well, and the sex too.

But this time, it was significantly different. Now, after he had proposed she knew that he wanted her around. Sure, she figured it would be a very long engagement. But at least now she knew that Edward was serious about a future together, and with that, Bella was sure nothing would ever tear them apart.

Edward kissed her forehead before slipping next to her. He lifted the covers and slipped in holding them up for Bella. Once she was settled under the covers, she rested her head on Edward's chest, content with hearing his slowing heartbeat. Edward's hand drew lazy patters on her arm, while holding her close.

The room was silent except for the pouring rain that started somewhere along their lovemaking- surely it was the reason Charlie hadn't overheard them. Just to be sure, Edward tried to listen past the sound of the droplets smacking against the outside of the house for any indication that the chief had risen from his chair. Thankfully, everything in the house seemed quiet.

Still, not wanting to test his luck he whispered, "Love, there's actually something else I came here for."

Bella sighed dramatically. "And here I thought, you just wanted to come and see your fiancé," she whispered teasingly looking up to see Edward smiling from ear to ear, she smiled too.

Even if he loved the way it sounded, the term '_fiancé'_ reminded Edward what he has here for, besides seeing Bella, and kissing her, and fucking her... not the real reason he ached to see her after only hours since she left with Charlie from the airport, but the real reason he couldn't wait until tomorrow. His smile faded slightly, he had a feeling this wouldn't go well with Bella.

"Its actually about that… You see, Bella…. Alice knows," he said in a small voice, praying her reaction wouldn't be that bad.

Bella looked at him dumbfounded. "What?!" she finally asked. "How can she know? Edward, I thought we agreed to wait until the end of the semester…"

"She knew! I swear, love, I said nothing," Edward interrupted her. "I got home, I didn't even get my suitcase out of Carlisle's trunk when Alice came hoping in to greet me. She took one good look at me, I guessed I looked way to happy, cause next thing I know she's hoping, screaming all over the place congratulating me and saying how we are perfect for each other."

Bella's angered softened when she imagined her best friend, Alice's reaction. Edward's description sounded just like something she would've done, and she was also Edward's closest sister, so Bella figured it was normal for her to notice Edward's change in moods.

_Damn, know-it-all pixie. _

"What is she gonna do?" Bella's eyes were wide in fear, and Edward tried to hide his laughter. "Edward, it's not funny! Knowing Alice, she'll probably want to start looking for dresses next weekend, and inviting people to an extravagant wedding!" she whined trying to pull away from his embrace.

Edward tightened his hold on her. "Hey, no she's not." Edward grabbed Bella's chin so that she would look at him. "I already made her promise, not to make a big deal out of it. She's not happy, but says she'll wait until we graduate to talk to you about color coordinations and venues…" he said teasing her.

Bella, however, did not like the joke at all. "Who says I even want a big fancy wedding? Tell Alice to forget it."

"Bella, I swear she'll behave, she's just happy for us. If you want to, we'll just go down to Vegas and get married there, no big fancy wedding, just you and me… and an Elvis priest." Bella laughed at the image.

"You promise?" Bella pouted.

"I promise," Edward said soothingly. "So, love… Vegas your dream wedding?" he taunted.

Bella smiled, resting her chin on his chest, she looked up at him with big brown eyes. "Well, maybe not Vegas. But something simple, you, me, Charlie, and your family in a little court-room, and maybe a nice dinner afterward; the sooner we get to the honeymoon the better," she half-teased.

"Mmh, I love the way you think," he said leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips. Bella settled back into his chest, making him far to comfortable.

"Was Alice lonely this weekend?" Edward was grateful for the light conversation, as much as he wanted he couldn't fall asleep, he still needed to climb down Bella's window and drive home.

"Nah, Jasper came down for the weekend. Emmett and Rose had exams so they had to stay in New Hampshire."

Bella bit her lip, pondering if it was the best time to tell Edward about the letter from Dartmouth that had arrived in her absence. Charlie gave it to her over dinner, prompting a conversation of what were Bella's plans for college. At some point, Charlie mentioned he had some money for her education, but Bella told him not to worry about it. She still had time to decide, and UW had some scholarship programs, when Charlie asked about Dartmouth she had no answer. She wondered if it was best to not tell Edward, but decided against it, her grades weren't all that good, but she could always look into applying for some financial aid.

"I got a letter from Dartmouth," Bella said in a small voice after making her decision. She felt Edward tense for an instant before he willed himself to relax.

"Really? What did it say?" Edward asked nonchalantly, both Bella and him knew he was just acting.

"It was an admissions letter." Bella kept her answers short, knowing this conversation always ended up in some sort of argument. But that was then, when she wasn't sure about her future, this was the new phase in their relationship.

"Congratulations, love! I knew you would get in." Edward tried, unsuccessfully, to hide his excitement.

Bella chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Yeah, I talked to Charlie about it. I'm going to look into some scholarships and financial aid, then we'll see…"

Edward knew better than to offer his money for her tuition again, he had learned that lesson the hard way. Bella was to damn proud for her own good, even if he loved her for it. Still, he was going to start thinking of a plan to get Bella to accept his money. He was sure he would come up with something soon enough.

Outside the rain had stopped momentarily, knowing it could start back up again with no warning Edward knew it was best to leave. Bella sensed it, and irrationally tightened her hold on him.

"No, don't leave yet," Bella said into his neck.

"Bella," Edward warned, "don't tempt me, love. It's late and we have school tomorrow."

Bella shook her head and nuzzled into his neck, pressing her body closer to his. "I think Renee spoiled us for life, after this weekend I don't think I ever want to sleep without you," she yawned.

Edward sighed. "I feel the same, but I'll se you in a few hours, okay?" he said, kissing the top of her head untangling from her warm embrace.

Once they were both dressed, Edward in his clothes and Bella in her pajamas, he opened the window and slung one leg outside.

"Please, try not to break you neck," she said truly concerned.

"Don't worry about me, I'm not as clumsy as you." Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes, she gave him one last peck on the lips before stepping back.

"Close the window, its chilly out. Love you," Edward whispered blowing her a final kiss before climbing down.

"Love you, too," she whispered leaning out her window to see him get down. "And please don't drive like a maniac!"

Bella heard Edward chuckle before he disappeared into the dark.

**

The next day Bella drove to school in her truck, Edward offered to drive her, but she had work after school, and if it was a slow day then she could go visit Jacob at La Push. It didn't take her long to find parking spot near the main entrance.

It only took her three steps after getting off her truck for Bella to be viciously attacked by a small body. Thin arms wrapped around her and her attacked started bouncing while squealing madly.

"Alice, I can't breathe," Bella gasped.

Alice soon released her, and Bella could finally take a good look at her. Alice looked radiantly happy, always fashionable she looked amazing.

"So, show it to me!" Alice squealed, bouncing slightly.

Bella rolled her eyes trying to hide her smile, Alice's happiness was contagious. "I though you promised to wait."

Alice pouted, her ultimate weapon whenever she wanted to win an argument. Bella was powerless against Alice's charm.

"Must you always get your way?" Bella laughed shaking her head.

"Says the girl who is engaged," Alice replied in a sing-song voice.

"Magic word…" Bella copied Alice's tone.

Alice stomped her foot, to which Bella raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Please, Bella, may I see your ring?" Her request was a little to emphasized to be honest but Bella was already pulling a silver chain from her under her t-shirt.

Alice watched mortified as Bella tugged the ring from under her shirt. She had placed it on a long silver chain. She wanted to keep the ring with her, but actually having it on her finger would bring a lot of question she wasn't prepared to answer.

"Why on earth do you have it there?" Alice asked, appalled at the ring's treatment.

"What do you mean?" Bella looked at Alice warily.

"Bella, why aren't you wearing it properly?" Alice frowned at her best friend.

"For the same reason you were supposed to wait," Bella responded defensively, stepping away from her and securing the ring under her shirt again.

"I know you aren't telling people, but at least wear the ring!"

Alice seemed outraged at Bella's behavior, and Bella didn't like her friend's tone one bit.

"I am wearing it! This is just for now, after graduation I'll wear it on my finger like any normal girl. Really, what's with the attitude?"

"Bella, the ring is important to Edward and you are not wearing it." Alice scolded, her tone softer.

"Edward and I talked about it, he's cool with it, Alice. I just don't want to deal with people knowing right now, okay?"

Alice looked at Bella apologetically, without realizing it she had hit a nerve. "I'm sorry, Bella, I just got too excited to see it on your finger."

Bella smiled and hugged Alice. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"No worries," Alice replied going back to her bubbly self.

She threw an arm around Bella's waist and together they walked to the entrance. They were early, so most of the other students were barely getting to the parking lot. As the walked closer to the main entrance Bella spotted Edward leaning casually against the frame. Alice saw Bella's face light up at the mere sight of her brother; she felt a sudden urge to tease her about it.

"Jesus, you guys are worse than Jasper and I."

Bella snorted. "Please, Ali, no one is cornier that you and Jasper." Bella smiled down at her friend, earning a harsh push.

"Oww," Bella whined almost loosing her balance. "You should pick on someone your own size!" she yelled after Alice bounced on the steps where Edward stood.

"Edward, control your sister! She attacked me out of nowhere." Bella pleaded, pouting at Edward who was now embracing her.

Edward and Alice chuckled at Bella's attempts of innocence. Bella pulled away from Edward and stuck her tongue out to Alice, who in turn looked mockingly outraged.

"Come on you two, we'll be late." Edward stepped in before their banter continued, as it was known it could. Both of them were so stubborn it took hours on either of them to win an argument.

Just before they entered their first period class, Alice hooked her arm on Bella's and casually asked, "So, Bella, what color were you planning for the bridesmaid dresses? Because yellow is in style this summer and…"

While Alice continued on with her ramblings, Bella rolled her eyes at Edward.

* * *

Well I hope you liked that lemon, I really needed a bit of fluff in the story :D, I am DYING to know what you guys think. Please leave a review! it really inspires me, and lets me know if I'm getting the main idea across, so whatever is on your mind! please say it!!

love you guys!!! please review!! :D

ps.. ohh and please don't forget to check out A TALE OF TWO EDWARDS... Im really proud of it!! :D

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	10. Chapter 9

Hey guys!! im sorry... writters block is horrible... but an annoying pixie got stuck in my brain and demanded time on this chapter! :D

hopefully you guys will like it :D

thanks to my betta: shabbyapple

and Becca... who is my personal Alice. Yes, Becca! you are Alice because Edward stays with me.. you can have Jasper.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS:

* * *

**August 2014**

Alice Whitlock stepped out of her doctor's office humming happily to herself; thankfully, she had called beforehand to make sure Jasper's prescription was ready, so she didn't have to experience the tedious waiting time to get a simple piece of paper.

Hopping into her Porsche, she drove over to the hospital's pharmacy, which was the nearest one to her doctor's office. Once there, she quickly found an available clerk who could fill the request.

"Ok, m'am, give us about two hours and we'll have it ready for you," the nice woman told her.

Alice smiled and thanked her, she pondered whether to go back home and take care of Jasper- who was suffering a mild cold- and then come back for the medicine, or try and see if Edward could step away from a quick lunch with her. Deciding there was really no need to drive all the way home and then back Alice made her decision.

She drove to a nearby deli, picking up some lunch for Edward and herself- there was no way she was eating hospital food- and headed for Virginia Mason once again. She found parking very quickly, and ultimately decided it was her lucky day, because as soon as she stepped out of the elevator she spotted her brother signing a chart for the head nurse. Since Edward did not answer his personal cell phone when he was on call, she always had to make one of the nurses page him in order to reach him.

"Ok, he seems to be responding very well, if he has no complaints then I think we can release Mr. Thompson today." She heard Edward say.

Her brow furrowed as she realized Edward look tired, there were almost purple bruises under his eyes that showed his lack of sleep. Alice wondered how long had this recent shift lasted, Edward was known to spend up to three days working- not that he ever complained, he loved his job- however, the family worried that he was never getting the rest he needed.

When Alice stepped into his line of vision Edward's head turned instantaneously to her, she curiously noted he looked somewhat relieved to see her. Giving her a genuine smile, he handed the chart to the nurse and went to hug Alice.

"Hey there, Doctor, " Alice said hugging him back.

"Ali, what are you doing here?" Edward asked.

"Well I hadn't seen you in a while, and since you never call…" she dramatized.

Edward snorted. "Please, Alice, I had dinner with you and Jasper last week."

"And, I haven't heard from you, since." Alice pouted, but Edward knew better. Still, he didn't want to continue with her jab. He was going to visit her as soon as he was done with his shift; he needed to talk to someone about Bella.

"I'm sorry, Ali, I'll make it up to you. Lunch?" Edward asked looking at his wristwatch.

Alice smiled showing him the bag with the lunch she picked up. "I knew you would say that."

Edward snagged the bag away from her, checking the contents and moaning appreciatively, he had not eaten anything since last night not realizing how hungry he was until he smelled the food.

"I love you and your psychic ways," he said ruffling her hair.

Alice slapped his hand away, snatching the paper bag back. "Who else is gonna feed you?" she teased.

Before Edward could retort he was cut off by Rogers yelling after him. "Dr. Cullen!" the intern yelled as he ran up to him.

Edward rolled his eyes at Alice- who in turn just giggled- before turning and facing the student. "Yes, Dr. Rogers?" he replied curtly, he was hungry and he wanted to go eat with his sister.

Rogers halted inches away from bumping into Edward. "Chief Stevenson, asked if you could meet up with him sometime today," he said panting slightly.

"Very well, anything else?" Edward raised an eyebrow condescendingly, he was not normally this arrogant but he found his temper short this past few days.

Rogers, however, was never one to take Edward's superior tone to heart. "Bella, wants to know if it's possible to change her medication to something a little less strong," he said suppressing his laughter.

Edward's eyes widened, he knew that wouldn't get past Alice.

"I think it would be a good idea. She refuses to take the Vicodin you prescribed; she wants Tylenol, even when I told her it might not work as well… She's very stubborn," Rogers finished.

"Bella?" Alice's musical voice asked.

Like Edward, she was aware that 'Bella' was not a very common name. Seeing Edward's body tense, only increased her curiosity.

"Ok, yes, give her Motrin and see how she reacts," Edward said quickly leading Alice away so he could explain. "I'm taking a break…"

"But, you have to sign the change," Rogers interrupted. "You are the only physician assigned, so only you can change the medication."

Edward stopped, sighing he stepped closer to the reception. Nurse McLaggen already had Bella's chart on top, never missing a beat, she gave Edward a pen for him to note the change. He felt Alice's prying eyes as she read, and confirmed the name printed on the chart.

"Edward…" Alice said with a gasp.

For years, she had asked herself how different things might have been if Edward had married Bella. She was witness to his brother's pain all those years ago and she would be lying if she said she didn't regret her decision. At that moment she had to decide between her brother and her best friend, seeing Edward's heartache first hand had convinced Alice at first were her loyalties laid, but as time progressed she found herself questioning her initial reaction. However, at that time she felt she would betray Edward's pain if she tried to contact Bella. It pained her, but in the end she learned to live without her best friend, just like Edward learned to live without the love of his life.

Before she could ask how long Bella had been hospitalized, Edward's beeper went off. Alice wanted to yank it and throw it away from him.

_Stupid pager is always interrupting!_

Edward glanced at it, and Alice saw him shift completely into his Dr. Cullen persona.

_And just like that, I lost him. _

"Ali, I'm sorry…" he started.

Alice shook her head. "Don't worry about it, come by tonight, we'll _talk_," she said, her voice commanding more than asking.

Edward just nodded before throwing her a last apologetic look. "Come with me," he said to Rogers, who looked like he had just won the lottery; together they headed to the ER.

Alice stood there for a moment, worried about Edward's reaction to having Bella back -even if it was only temporary. She made a mental note to call Tanya and ask if he seemed a little out of place; she knew Tanya called him every evening even if it was just to say hello. Alice felt bad for her friend, she liked Tanya, she was good to Edward; but Alice knew the poor girl had no chance when stalked up next to a Bella Swan. At least, not in Edward's eyes.

"Room 521," McLaggen said not looking up from her monitor.

"Excuse me?" Alice asked, a little confused by the sudden interruption from her own thoughts.

"Bella Swan," the older woman said looking up from her reading glasses. "Edward said she was your best friend in highschool, she's in room 521 if you want to say 'hi'."

_Figures he would say Bella was my best friend. Sure, Edward, that's all she was._

Smiling, Alice thanked the head nurse and headed for Room 521.

**

"Bella, you can't be serious! I really need you now…. God, I don't mean to be a nag- Richard is great-but you are the glue that holds us together-" Sam Madden pleaded.

"Sam…" Bella's frustration was evident in her tone. "Richard can handle the last stages of the release. It's not your first release, I don't need to hold your hand anymore."

"Belladona," Sam whined using her special nickname. "You know I can't do it without you."

Bella couldn't help but laugh, the nickname always did it, Sam was always playful and fun- he constantly made silly remarks and was one of Bella's good friends and not just work colleagues. The fact that they had been romantically involved at some point also brought a different level of trust between them.

Sam Madden, could very well be Bella's first and only real relationship since Edward Cullen; they had met at UW in Bella's last master's class. Bella almost never dated, back when she was in school, she had concentrated mostly on her studies and taking care of Jacob and Charlie- her two constants- needless to say she had no real desire to meet anyone new.

So when Sam started pursuing Bella she was reluctant at first. She couldn't deny he was a very attractive man. He was almost as tall as Jacob- although not quite; he had dark skin, handsome features, and took pride in his toned body. However, it was his incredible writing that made Bella take the plunge. After Sam begged Bella for an opinion in one of the creative writing assignments for their class Bella was completely engrossed in his skills. Faster than expected, Bella had allowed herself to start a relationship with him; thrown together by their love of literature and the struggle of being a penny-less writer in Seattle they had lived a happy two-year relationship.

In those years Bella started working in Townstead as an editorial assistant; and Sam working as a part-time teacher started working on a something new. Those had been the first drafts of the now popular novel 'Moonlight', as Bella climbed her way up she took Sam with her. His novel secured her position in Townstead, which led to her current top position; while her contacts with the publishing house had made him a well known-millionaire- author.

As Bella always knew it would, their romantic relationship ended somewhere midway as their professional one developed. Sam had been an important man in her life, but mostly professionally.

For Sam, Bella had been more than he could ever explain. If it wasn't for her then he would never be in the position he was; it was her faith in him and her brilliant suggestions that kept his ideas going. Unlike her, he had fallen completely in love with her; and the moment she realized it, was the moment she started to pull away.

Sam had been heartbroken, nonetheless, she was relentless in her support for his 'baby' and did not allow their friendship to drift apart. Years later, when his book was published and Bella called the shots in the publishing house, he finally found the courage to ask what went wrong with them- a question that nagged his brain since she broke things off.

"_Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime,"_ she had said, quoting Bette Davis. Sam was confused by her words, but soon after understood when she explained her previous experiences with love.

That conversation sealed their fate as friends, when Sam understood Bella's past he was able to let go of any platonic feelings still left for the incredible woman who had helped him so much. Now, as he visited her in the hospital after the accident that now took her away from their esteemed project, Sam was obviously reluctant to let her go without a fight.

"The Doctor said you would be out of here in two days the most, Belladona, we've worked for this ever since 'Moonlight' came out," he continued to plead.

Bella shook her head, sighing she decided to be honest with him, "Sam, its not because of the accident. I'll still be working from home as an editor and consultant; but, at least for now, I want- no, I need- some time on my own to think about… my goals," she said looking up at him.

"Goals?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes… Sam, you don't get it, I spend most of my days looking over administrative things, publicity, budgets, management, distribution lists, marketing proposals, making sure asshole authors are happy," she joked eyeing him meaningfully, Sam held his hands trying to appear innocent.

"I just… wish I had more time to do the things I really love."

"Like writing?" he asked, finally understanding where this was going.

"Or just editing…" She shrugged, still painfully aware of the soreness in her ribs.

"Bella, you edit even more than you should, already," he scolded her. "You never have time for anything else other than work, I know Jake complains that you barely even have time for him and Nessie anymore."

She bit her lip guiltily; aware of how much her work had taken over her life. "That's why, I'm talking to Townstead so I can step down and give Richard free reign. I still wanna stay as senior editor, I just don't want to handle the politics you know?... I just wanted to tell you first."

Sam nodded and smiled. "So this means, you won't handle my paycheck no more?"

Bella laughed heartedly, wincing at the movement. "No, dumbass, I won't. Just your horrible grammar skills; and don't make me laugh… I'm in pain!" She punched his arm as hard as she could, frowning when it had no effect on him.

_Damn tank. _

"Bella?" a small voice asked from the doorway.

Both Sam and Bella turned to look at the new visitor. Alice stood in the doorway, having heard the last of the conversation between Bella and her friend; she decided to let her presence be known not wanting to eavesdrop on purpose.

"Alice!" Bella yelped, completely surprised by the sudden visit.

"May I come in?" the petite woman asked hesitantly, somewhat embarrassed by her old friend's awed stare and the tall man's questioning glance.

"Of course, come in, come in!" Bella exclaimed, excitedly. Sam noticed his friend's eagerness for the new visitor and threw her a questioning glance.

Alice stepped in and Bella was slightly embarrassed by her appearance. She had taken a shower with the nurses' help this morning, so she was clean. However, although lessened, the pain in her side was so strong- thanks to her refusal for medication- that she soon found out that it was better to move as little as possible. In consequence, her-now- dry hair looked like a haystack; there was not an ounce of moisturizer or makeup on her face, and the designated hospital robe was not flattering at all.

She didn't mind when Jacob checked in with her this morning, nor when Sam came by to update her on the yesterday's press conference. But seeing Alice dressed as her usual- or what she remembered as usual- perfectly fashionable attire and presentable appearance she felt a little self-conscious.

"Sam, this is Alice Cullen-"

"It's Whitlock, now," Alice corrected, beaming at Bella.

Bella's smile widened and she felt silly when happy tears formed in her eyes. _Really, this 'accident' really has me topsy turvy. _"Oh, Alice! Congratulations! Since when?" she asked taking Alice's hand.

Alice practically hopped in excitement, her eyes lighting with happiness, for a moment the two friends felt like they were still in high-school and Alice was just telling Bella of an exciting weekend occurrence instead of a ten year gap.

"Two years. And Emmett and Rose, too, for five years and their expecting their first this winter."

"Wow," Bella grinned at the thought of Emmett being a daddy. Before she could comment on it, though, Sam cleared his throat looking uncomfortable.

Bella rolled her eyes once more and Alice giggled. "I'm sorry, Sam, this is Alice Whitlock," she said grinning at Alice. "Alice, this is Sam Madden."

"Pleasure to meet you," he greeted shaking her stretched hand. "Likewise," Alice replied.

"Ok, Bella, I leave you with excellent company. I'll call you later, okay?" he said, kissing the top of her head.

Alice eyed them inconspicuously trying to figure out the nature of their relationship. She didn't know why it mattered if Bella was single or not since Edward was engaged, but her instinct told her it did.

"I'll call you when I'm out of here, my blackberry got lost in the crash," Bella explained watching him collect his messenger bag. "And watch our big mouth with Richard, okay, I want to tell him before you go in asking for a raise!" she yelled after him watching grumpily as he rolled his eyes and winked playfully at Alice before stepping out of the room.

"He better not say anything…" Bella mumbled making Alice giggle.

"Cause he is so afraid of you," Alice commented sarcastically, Bella shot her a dirty look.

"He better be," the brunette responded, Alice raised her eyebrows in mock surprise.

Bella smiled, gesturing Alice to take a seat on the nearby chair. Alice moved the seat closer and placed the contents of her lunch on the edge of the bed.

"Have you eaten? Edward abandoned me for lunch, and I don't want this to go to waste." Alice told her getting the sandwiches out of the bag and placing a bowl of soup on the nearby table.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave those for Edward?" Bella asked.

Alice shook her head. "Nah, the won't taste good if they're left for hours on the lunch room, besides, that 'doctor' look he had on told me he won't care about food for a while," she said shrugging her shoulders and taking a bite.

Bella copied her actions, hesitantly opening up the wrapping. She felt guilty thinking Edward hadn't eaten, still, she was not going to pass up an opportunity of tasty food. The room was silent for a moment as both women ate their meals; it wasn't uncomfortable per say, however, it was hard to break the ice after ten years of no communication.

"You quitting your job?" Alice asked, trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

Bella smiled. "Eavesdropping, Ali? Still as nosy as ever, I see," she teased breaking the ice.

Alice laughed, shaking her head she replied, "Couldn't help it if your boyfriend's complains were heard all the way out there."

"He _is_ a bit of a drama queen," Bella replied rolling her eyes.

"So, he _is_ your boyfriend?" Alice saw Bella blush and shake her head.

"No," Bella replied, lifting her head to catch Alice's questioning gaze. "Not anymore, he used to be… a long time ago, but now we're just friends."

"Oh." Alice wondered if she was stepping out of line, but her curiosity won out. "And Jacob?"

Bella laughed, she couldn't help it. Leave it to Alice to ask the big, loaded questions first. She always did love her for that.

"Already? I thought we were going to dance around this for a little while," Bella teased, easing some of Alice's fears of how Bella would respond.

"We can if you like, but you know I'll just bring it up again," Alice countered, nonchalantly offering Bella one of the sodas she had on her purse.

Bella took the Coke, leaving Alice with the Sprite Bella knew she preferred. Bella thought about avoiding the conversation all together, telling Alice it was all in the past just like she had done with Edward, but this time it was different.

Alice used to be her bestfriend, someone who had- at some point- known everything about her. Bella had missed her terribly, especially after Charlie's accident, when she had no one to talk to. Jake was there, but he had to deal with his own grief, and it wasn't fair for Bella to want him to understand her own. So Bella kept to herself, hiding her pain, masking her doubts, she pulled it through and in time she relied in new friends, like Angela. However, she always missed Alice, and just like with Edward, she craved for a chance to explain everything to her.

Talking with Alice was different, and Bella decided she could give her the answers she denied Edward.

"We did try, once…" Bella started, breaking the silence. "About a year after you guys left, Charlie was better and Jacob was practically living with us-"

"Charlie?" Alice interrupted, not really understanding the conversation.

Bella sighed running a hand through her hair, realizing she would have to explain everything since the beginning. Taking a deep breath she turned her whole body to Alice, and started filing her friend on her past ten years since the moment they left.

"When Edward left…"

"When he ran away," Alice corrected, in her mind 'running away' was a better description of what her brother had done.

Bella gave her a sad smile but continued. "The night Edward and I broke up I wanted to go after him, but Jacob convinced me that it was too soon and I should give Edward some time to at least cool off. I accepted that excuse, but honestly, I was too afraid to face him after what I'd just done so I agreed to wait."

Alice stepped closer reaching for Bella's shaking hands and holding them between her own. Bella was grateful for the slight comfort, it gave her the strength to continue. "I waited two days to go to your house and when I finally did, Rosalie answered the door…"

Bella closed her eyes remembering the horrible conversation that ensued and the selective curses Rosalie delivered that day.

"What did she tell you, Bella?" Alice asked, knowing full well how mean her sister could be.

Bella shook her head, then, and even now she understood Rosalie's anger. Even if callous and selfish, Rosalie lived for her family and what she did to Edward was enough to justify the blonde woman's anger.

"She just said that Edward, you and Emmett had left for Dartmouth early and that he said he wanted nothing else to do with me."

Alice wished she could deny the statement, but it was true. The night Edward and Bella broke up, Edward stormed into the house cursing everything in its path and swearing he never wanted to see Bella again.

"So I left, and that whole month I didn't talk to anyone... I was a mess, I missed you and Edward so much and I blamed Jacob for not letting me talk to Edward… I just stayed in my room and cried and thought about what went wrong… my mom tried to get me to leave with her to Florida, but I refused to leave Forks."

Bella chuckled remembering the tantrum she had to pull of to get Rene off her back. "That was the last straw for Charlie, he was so worried he called Esme."

Alice's blue eyes widened, this was new information that her mother had never revealed to her. Bella, sensing her friend's surprise continued, "I was just as impressed as you, one day I was just laying on my bed and then out of nowhere your mom and my dad come in. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even protest when Esme told me to take a shower and meet her in the kitchen. When I finally went downstairs, Esme was sitting on my kitchen table and Charlie had already left for work."

Bella's small smile told Alice of how much love she still held for the Cullen family, especially her adoptive mother. "Esme didn't judge me, she said she understood and she wanted to help. She told me that she would get me a plane ticket to New Hampshire, and since the semester at Dartmouth was already paid for, that I should at least give it a try. She convinced me to go after Edward, and try to talk to him…. I didn't even hesitate, I accepted her offer and made plans to go to Dartmouth a week before classes started."

"Then, why?" Alice asked. It seemed like the perfect plan. If Bella showed up, regardless of Edward's anger she knew they would've somehow found a way to patch things up.

Bella took a deep breath, fighting the tears she wouldn't be able to contain for long. "The last few weeks before my flight I prepared everything I needed to leave for college, I wanted to call you guys and tell you beforehand. Esme wanted to do it too, but I convinced her to wait. I didn't want anyone to be mad at her for helping me, and I thought if you guys found out you would tell her how much you didn't want me there and then I wouldn't find the strength to actually go."

"Bella…" Alice chastised her.

"I thought it was best… Then a weekend before I left, I went with Jacob to La Push. The guys were having a bonfire night and I thought it was the best way to say goodbye. We were having a great time until the police came by. At first we panicked, since we were underage and there was some stuff that wasn't supposed to be there…"

Alice chuckled, imagining the huge boys from the reservation scrambling to hide the illegal booze and pot they had at the bonfires. She stopped when she noticed Bella wasn't laughing along with her, her eyes were blank, staring into space, as if remembering.

"Bella, what happened?"

"The police didn't even care what we were doing, as soon as they got to us they took Jake and I aside and told us Billy and Charlie were in an accident…" Alice gasped. "They went fishing that day, and on they're way back they got hit by a trucker. It was raining that afternoon, and the police had been looking for us for a while… but since we were all over town enjoying my last day they didn't get to us until the bonfire."

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Was he hurt badly?"

Bella nodded. "Billy died… and Charlie's legs were paralyzed for almost two years. His nerves were… it's hard to explain… I didn't understand half of it myself."

Alice squeezed her hands. "Is that why you didn't come to New Hampshire?"

"Yes," Bella sobbed, letting the pain she had been holding escape. It was weird, even if everything was better now, explaining everything made the emotions just as real as before.

Alice had no words to comfort Bella; she did the only thing she could. Sitting on the edge of her friend's bed, she held Bella's arms and hugged her, feeling her own tears fall.

After a few moments, they both pulled back drying their tears and giggling at their ridiculous display. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Alice said in sad voice.

Bella shook her head, holding her hands once more and giving them a comforting squeeze. "It's okay, I should've handled things better too."

"What did you do?" Alice asked curiously.

"I was stubborn. When the accident happened, I thought I had to fix it all by myself. Charlie was so depressed, not only about his legs, mostly for Billy. He missed his best friend so much that I wanted to be there for him at all times…. Same with Jacob, he was devastated."

"Jacob stayed with you guys?" Alice remembered at that time Jacob was underage, and it wasn't likely that he would live alone in the reservation.

"No, Rachel-his sister- came down to be his legal guardian. Its weird how things work out, because she moved back and met Paul, they fell in love instantly and got married a year after that."

"Paul?!"

Bella smiled rolling her eyes. "Jacob was little put out to say the least, it was so irritating to hear him complaining about them endlessly." Bella shrugged, "But the more annoyed he got with Rachel, the more time he spent with Charlie and me, so I wasn't complaining."

"Is this when you guys got together?" Alice asked.

Bella was so engrossed in the conversation she forgot how it started, but now she remembered the main reason she explained everything that had happened to Alice.

"Yes," Bella looked down at her hands, unable to meet Alice's gaze. Even if her relationship with Edward had been over at that time, she still felt like she betrayed him by trying a relationship with Jacob.

"After the accident I knew I had to stay, so I thanked Esme for trying to help, and decided that maybe I could try to talk to Edward when you guys came back for a break… Mrs. Newton gave me a full time position at the store and I took a year off from school to help Charlie. There was some tension between us, Dad and I… he wanted me go back to school, but I just didn't want to leave him. Jacob was the buffer; he came down every chance he could to get away from Rachel and Paul."

"We added a room downstairs for Charlie, and Jacob stayed the weekends on Charlie's old bedroom. He helped us out so much that year; we were our own little dysfunctional family, Charlie, Jake and I. It was amazing to me, how I could feel happy again, despite everything."

Bella glanced up to find understanding in Alice's eyes. "One night, Jacob and I were watching TV on the living room, Charlie was already asleep. It was July, and Esme had just told me that you guys were staying at New Hampshire for the summer. I knew that worst case scenario, Edward didn't want to see me… best case, he just didn't care anymore to visit."

Alice frowned at Bella's nonchalant attitude, but she knew the pain that statement held, nonetheless she never interrupted. She was just happy Bella could confide in her again.

"Jacob was always there, helping out, making me laugh, making me… happy. My own little sun in this foggy dark world I was living in. So that night, I took a chance and kissed him… It wasn't at all like kissing Edward, but it was nice and comforting… and I was just so lonely," Bella's heart clenched at the memory.

"It worked out for a while, and then it didn't. I kept waiting to feel more, but those feelings never actually developed. I broke things off about two months after that… I wanted to do it sooner, but I was afraid Jacob would disappear from our lives. I too was selfish and I needed him to be around."

Alice nodded telling Bella it was okay, she understood and she really didn't need an explanation. She had no right to judge her, Alice was angry at herself for not being there, and grateful at least Jacob hadn't abandoned her.

"He stayed," Alice said, sensing he was still a big part of Bella's life.

Bella nodded a small smile grazing her features. "He said if I hadn't done it, he would've have sooner or later. I guess we both needed to at least try…. to figure out we didn't belong together."

"Took him long enough," Alice joked lightening the mood.

"Yeah," Bella laughed.

"What happened afterwards?" The questions just kept coming; Alice wanted to know everything that she had missed.

"Nothing, I went back to school got my BA in the University of Seattle and an MA at UW. Carlisle helped Charlie find a specialist, he can walk now and pretty much fend for himself. Jacob just got married, and I crashed my car two days ago."

Alice frowned. "That's it?"

"You want more?" Bella arched an eyebrow. "All the drama happened that one year, I'm glad the rest of my life has been so boring," she teased.

Alice blushed, feeling silly. "I guess you're right... so no boyfriends, or husbands?"

"Nah, I've dated but I'm not that concerned of finding someone, right now." Bella shrugged.

Both women stayed silent for a while, pondering over all the information revealed.

"Enough about me, tell me what has Mrs. Whitlock, been up to?" Bella said in a fake southern accent.

Alice punched her arm, and Bella laughed despite the pain. All the Cullen's and Bella had teased Jasper endlessly about his accent went he first came to live in Forks, he was the last of the foster kids the Cullen's adopted, getting there a mere month after Bella had.

Both friends, spent the better part of the afternoon catching up. This time going over lighter topics and happy moments, their conversations felt exactly the same, almost like there had never been a wedge between them.

Alice updated Bella on her siblings. Rosalie was a mechanic engineer but had recently quit her job to stay as a full-time mom now that her baby girl was about to be born, Emmett was a lawyer at a prominent Seattle law firm, Jasper was a history professor at UW and currently defending his dissertation, and Alice had her own boutique with a new clothing line that she would be presenting on New York's fashion week.

Bella told Alice about her experiences at the publishing house, Jacob's success with his own car shop, Angela and Ben's marriage, their three year old boy: Arthur- Bella's godson- Charlie's new romance with Sue Clearwater; they talked about everything and anything, except Edward. It was like an unspoken agreement not to talk about the main reason their friendship had halted over these past years.

Before they knew it more than two hours had passed and their conversation was interrupted by Jasper's phone call.

"Oh, Jazzy, I'm sorry. I lost track of the time," Alice pouted making Bella giggle.

_It seems she still has him wrapped around her little fingers. _

"How are you feeling?" Alice winked at her. "Yeah, I'll be there in a little bit. Love you, bye."

Flipping her phone shut, Alice gave Bella a mischievous smile. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Hopefully going home," Bella said pointing to the bed.

"When did Edward say you could leave?" Alice pressed, looking for something in her purse.

Bella shrugged. "I'm not sure, I think one more day until they take this tube out."

Alice found one of her cards and quickly scribbled her address on the back. "Call me the moment you're released. I need opinions for my new collection and I think I have some stuff that you would love."

"Alice," Bella whined, but she didn't really mean it.

"Oh, hush." Alice smiled. "I'll be waiting for your call, you're not gonna get rid of me that easy this time."

Bella chuckled. "Thanks, Ali."

"I really missed you, Bells." The petite woman said, practically tackling her friend with the hug.

"Ow! Ali, I missed you too, but not so hard!

Both of the laughed; after promising they would meet when Bella was released, Alice left feeling like she finally found the one thing she was missing.

**Spring 2005**

"I liked the black one better," Alice commented scrutinizing her best friend's choice of dress.

"You would, it barely covered my ass," the brunette replied, annoyed and tired.

Alice said nothing as she continued to circle Bella, as if looking at the dress from every angle would alter her opinion. Bella was very close to agreeing with her friend's choice just to get it over with. They had spent all day at Port Angeles, looking for something to wear for the graduation after-party they were throwing at the Cullen's.

The party was a weekend away, and Bella thought she could get away with wearing something from her closet; it wasn't until the previous evening when Alice demanded to know what she planned to wear that Bella's plans had been thwarted.

Appalled, Alice had decided they would spend the weekend searching for the perfect attire. Bella knew better than to argue, with Edward being away in a camping trip with the boys, there was no one who could save her from the annoying pixie.

"If I say yes to the black one, can we please get something to eat… I'm starving."

Alice smirked; she knew Bella would agree sooner or later. "If you insist."

Grumbling, Bella stepped down from the platform on the dressing room and changed into her comfortable jeans and t-shirt. After making their purchase, they headed down to a nearby dinner. Just before they arrived Alice spotted something inside one of the shops, Bella almost didn't notice since she was busy checking her text messages.

"Oh, I'll be right back," she mumbled stepping in before Bella could protest.

Not a minute later, Alice stepped out again holding a new plastic bag. Bella was about to ask what she bought, when her stomach grumbled making her blush.

"Come on, before Edward kills me for not feeding you," Alice said, taking Bella's hand and leading her into the restaurant.

After ordering lunch and sipping on her drinks, Bella noticed Alice looked even more bouncy than usual. "What did you buy?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

Alice grinned from ear to ear; reaching for her bag she quickly took out three bridal magazines and laid them on the table.

Bella groaned, earning a reprimanding glare from Alice. "You said once we graduated we could start talking about wedding plans!"

"Shh, people will hear you!" Bella hissed.

"People will find out eventually," Alice countered.

Bella sighed. _I knew this was going to happen. _

"Bella, really, what's the problem? We are just looking, its fun to look at bridal magazines… harmless, actually."

To demonstrate her point, Alice opened one of them and showed Bella a gorgeous wedding gown. Even Bella couldn't deny the loveliness when a small smile spread through her lips.

"See, you like it!" Alice giggled pointing at her friend's smile.

Bella blushed, snapping the magazine away from Alice she agreed. "Ok, yes I do. But isn't this a little over the top? That veil looks twice as long as her."

With a knowing smile Alice moved beside her friend and together they criticized and commented on several designs. Taking a note on what Bella liked- mostly traditional but elegant- they spent most of lunch talking about the magazines.

By the time they were sharing a piece of chocolate cake- which they both suddenly had a craving for, after looking at different wedding cake displays- Alice ventured on the topic she most wanted to cover. "So, have you and Edward set a date?"

Bella laughed, she had been waiting for Alice to bombard her with these questions since she saw the ring, and was actually presently surprise when she kept her promise to wait.

"Does this mean you talked to Edward already and he denied you the information," Bella teased, taking another bite of the cake.

Alice rolled her eyes. "No, I want _you_ to tell me."

"No, Ali, we haven't. I dunno why you're so keen to know anyways. It'll be a while before we actually do." Bella shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked a bit confused.

"Um… well its not like we're getting married right now," Bella said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Alice gaped at her for a moment before she could compose herself. "What?" Bella asked, a little uneasy with her friend's reaction.

"Nothing… nothing," Alice said, dismissing the question with a wave of her hand.

Bella's brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

Alice bit her lip, mentally cursing herself for not talking to Edward beforehand. "Have you decided on Dartmouth?"

Bella was taken aback; the sudden change in topic was too bizarre not to notice. "What does Dartmouth have to do with anything?"

"Maybe you should talk to Edward about the wedding…"

"What? No, Ali, tell me… what's going on?" Bella interrupted, growing more confused by the second.

Alice looked at Bella's puzzled expression and groaned before making a decision; she was really going to have a talk with Edward about the importance of communication.

"Ok, Bells," she said turning to face her, "but you have to promise me you'll talk to Edward about this."

Bella nodded growing wearier.

"I _think_… Edward was hoping you guys would get married this summer, so you would leave with us in the fall," Alice grimaced waiting for an outburst.

She wasn't prepared, however, for Bella's silence. Looking at her friend, she noticed Bella looked like she was still processing the information.

It wasn't until the waitress came by asking if they needed anything else that Bella seemed to step out of her shock.

"No, thank you," Bella mumbled.

"Actually, could we get the check?" Alice stepped in, waiting of the waitress to leave before turning to the brunette. "Bella?"

Bella closed her eyes, shaking her head she asked, "Did he actually tell you that?"

"Not in so many words, no…"

"Then why do you say that?" Bella pressed, opening her eyes and looking directly at Alice.

Sighing Alice decided it was best to lay it all out there, that way Bella could get her initial reaction out of the way and hopefully have a more civilized conversation with Edward.

"Bella, sweetie, Edward loves you. I don't think it really matters to him if you get married tomorrow or ten years from now... but," she paused to make sure Bella wasn't going to interrupt, "I think he thinks the only way you would accept his help with Dartmouth is if you guys get married first."

"It's about the fucking tuition isn't it?" Bella seethed, trying to take deep breaths to ease her anger.

She felt stupid, she should've known Edward would try to pull something like this. Sure, she was considering Dartmouth, and Charlie had been so happy when they read the acceptance letter that he had encouraged her to go. She had been looking into financial aid options and student loans. Edward hadn't pressed on the subject, so she assumed he would've let her find her own way, but now, hearing about this only made her even more self conscious of the big differences in resources they both had.

"Bella, please calm down." Alice tried to placate her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Alice, I don't need him to take care of me… I mean… letting him pay for school…" Bella paused fighting the angry tears that were threatening to fall.

"No, Bella, please listen to me." She waited until Bella turned to look at her before continuing, "Bella, you are looking at it the wrong way. Edward loves you, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. It's not about the money, or what college you guys actually go to. He just wants to share his life with you. For Edward that is everything, his heart, his experiences, his possessions… his money is just a small part of what he wants to offer you."

Alice gave Bella a moment, making sure her words her penetrating her mind.

"I'm sure Edward is afraid of your reaction, and that's why he hasn't said anything. Bella, please try to look at the positive side of things. Letting Edward help you with tuition will not leave him bankrupt, it would give you guys more time together, and more time with us…. I know Edward plans on going whereever you go, so if you actually come with us to New Hampshire then the six of us would be together."

Bella agreed with her in that aspect, going to College alone was a little scary, but going there to reunite with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper would be very nice, add Alice and Edward and it would be the best scenario she could hope for.

"Think about it Bella, please."

Bella looked up at Alice, noticing her nervous expression, she decided to appease her. "I will, Ali," she said giving her a small smile.

Alice grinned, stashing away the magazines and changing the subject. Almost immediately, the waitress came by with the check. After they paid, they made their way to the car- it was starting to get dark, and Esme asked them to come back early.

Any kind of tension that might've been left dissipated on the drive back home. Singing along with the radio allowed both girls to relax and let go; Alice was relieved Bella didn't seem to be angry, and believed her promise of thinking it through. Just to be sure, she would warn Edward as soon as he came back.

Bella loved how Alice could instantly make her feel better, even if it was just singing silly songs together or just giving her some space. She had given her a lot to think about, surprisingly enough, she was glad Alice had told her instead of Edward, she could always understand Alice's reasoning, whilst she was sure the previous conversation would surely result in a huge fight if it had been with Edward.

"_He wants to share his life with you. For Edward that is everything, his heart, his experiences, his possessions… his money is just a small part of what he wants to offer you…"_

She kept replaying those words over and over in her hear, amazingly, they gave her comfort. Alice had been able to find a way to make Bella understand what Edward's intentions were. And she could relate to them.

Was it really so different from what she wanted? Sure, Bella couldn't offer him money, or expensive gifts, but Edward had showed her time and time again he didn't care for any of that… he cared for what Bella could give… she could give him kisses, comfort, love. She could give him all she had, and still feel like she wanted to give more.

In that moment, Bella let herself consider accepting Edward's help. She didn't like the idea of relying completely on him, but maybe they could reach some sort of compromise… after all, wasn't that what relationships were about?

Bella noticed she had spent most of the trip finalizing her decision, since they were five minutes away from the Cullen's house. The butterflies in her stomach fluttered incessantly when she noticed Emmett's jeep in the driveway, meaning the boys were back.

Giving a side glace to Alice, she saw the same excited expression on her face. When they finally parked Carlisle's Mercedes in the garage, both girls practically jumped out the car and retrieved their bags.

Just as Alice closed the trunk, Bella stepped in front of her and hugged her. "Thanks for telling me, Ali."

Alice was a little surprised for the affection but returned the hug instantly. Her heart soared when she realized she had made the right decision in telling Bella.

"What are friends for," Alice shrugged giving her one last squeeze before letting her go. "Lets go, I want to paint our toenails before Edward steals you for the night."

Bella groaned when Alice pulled her into the house.

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Friendships are being rebuilt... what will Edward say when he talks to Alice? check out for the next update ;)

please **review**!! i promise not to take to long between updates anymore!! :D

**LOVE YOU GUYS!! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! **

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	11. Chapter 10

Hey guys!!

**My little story broke 100 reviews last chapter!!! you guys have no idea how special that made me feel. I really have words to tell you how happy and gratefull I am for your support!**

Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart, and please keep reviewing!! :D

Here's the next chapter!! Hey its still faster than last time.. im getting better at updating. Hopefully you guys will like it!! :D

and B-see I told you I could :P

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS!

* * *

**Spring 2005**

Edward stepped out the shower, relaxing the muscles that cramped after a three day long camping trip. As much as he loved the male bonding with his father and brothers, he knew sleeping on the ground in a cold tent wasn't the most comfortable thing.

Once he was dressed, he ventured downstairs hoping that Alice and Bella were back from their shopping trip; on their way back to Forks he received a text message from Bella complaining about his sister's shopping problem. He chuckled, knowing that Alice had planned on taking that littel trip with Bella for a while now.

When he reached the first floor, he noticed most of his family was gathered there. Emmett and Jasper were playing a video game, Rosalie was next to Emmett on the sofa flipping over a bridal magazine, Jasper was on the floor while Alice rested her back on his side and Bella was in front of her, painting Alice's toes with a bright pink polish.

"Hey, Eddie, wanna play?" Emmett asked not taking his eyes away from the screen.

Bella immediately looked up to catch Edward entering the room, her quickening heartbeat and the fluttering butterflies in her stomach making an appearance as they always did when she saw him.

His wide smile mirrored Bella's as he took a seat next to her. "Hey, I missed you," he said, kissing her lips chastely.

"Me too," she replied somewhat breathless, staring into his green eyes.

"Yeah! Take that, bitch!" Emmett bellowed, breaking their moment. They both turned to see Emmett make a little dance on his seat while Jasper cursed and threw the control away.

Bella giggled and Alice rolled her eyes; Rosalie seemed unaffected by the commotion, still looking intently at the magazine.

"I'm done," Jasper said throwing the control to Edward. "Wanna help me pack, Ali?"

"Sorry, can't move," Alice said pointing to her toes, which Bella had finished painting.

Jasper smiled mischievously, winking at Alice he quickly turned and lifted her up. Alice squealed but didn't protest, Emmett cat-called, and the rest of them just laughed as they watched Jasper unceremoniously carry Alice upstairs to 'pack'.

"Night, everyone," Jasper called.

"You up for it, Eddie?" Emmett asked, twirling the control in the air and catching it again.

"No thanks, Emmy," Edward snickered watching Emmett wince at his nickname.

"Pussy," Emmett mumbled. In response Edward threw the control at him, effectively smacking Emmett's head.

"Ow! Violence is never the answer, Eddie," Emmett scolded rubbing his head. Edward snickered and Bella giggled shaking her head in disapproval.

"Rosie?" Emmett asked looking at his girlfriend, giving her a pout.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Just one game. We still need to wake up early for the Red-Eye. I mean it Em, I have a test tomorrow."

Emmett beamed giving Rose one of the controllers and changing the settings on the game.

Rosalie turned to Bella handing her the magazine. "Thanks, Bella. I agree the veil is way to long."

Edward's brow furrowed, looking at Bella blush and take the magazine, thanking Rose for the opinion and looking down at her lap. He swore he saw Rose snicker before turning to start the game.

Confusion ran through Edward's mind. Why would Bella have a bridal magazine, did it mean that she also wanted to get married soon? Edward shook his head absentmindedly; he glanced at Bella who was looking curiously up at him. He smiled tentatively trying to assess her reaction, she responded immediately, giving her own shy smile and leaning her head on his shoulder.

They watched Emmett and Rose play for a while until Edward grew restless; he needed to know what was going on in Bella's head.

"It's getting late, you mind driving me home?" Bella asked looking up at Edward.

"Not at all," he said kissing her nose before helping her stand up.

They went into the kitchen so Bella could say goodbye to Esme and Carlisle who were having dinner, and went back to the living room just in time to see Rosalie give a perplexed Emmet a light peck on the cheek and stand up from the couch.

"No, wait, Rosie, re-match!" Emmett whined.

"Sorry, monkey, we need to pack." Rosalie said condescendingly, giving Bella and Edward a sly smile.

"Bye, Bella, you and Alice call me if you decide on anything." Bella nodded stepping in and giving her a hug. "Safe trip," Bella interrupted before Rose could say more.

"This is not over, Rosalie," Emmett yelled as he watched her climb up the stairs.

"Dude, accept defeat, please!" Edward chuckled.

Emmett flipped him off and turned to Bella lifting her up in bear hug. "I'll miss you lil' sis. Sorry about graduation, but I'll see you three weeks from now."

"It's okay, you'll stay the summer, right?" Bella's muffled voice asked from Emmett's arms.

"Yup." Emmet gave her one last squeeze before setting her down.

"Be back in a bit," Edward said while Bella gathered her shopping bags from the back of the couch. "Say 'goodbye' to Jasper for me," she called letting Edward take the bags and lead her to the door.

Once outside Edward opened the passenger door of his Volvo to Bella and set the bags on the trunk. Inside the car, Bella fidgeted with her seatbelt nervously. She had already decided to talk to Edward about the conversation she'd had with Alice, but now that the moment was here her stomach clenched nervously and she didn't know how to approach the subject.

_You can do this… just keep your calm. You love him and he loves you. _

"You okay?" Edward asked starting the car.

Bella gave herself one last pep talk and opened her eyes, looking into Edward's worried ones she nodded taking his hand and giving him a light squeeze.

"Just tired, we probably went into every shop in Port Angeles today."

Edward shook his head with a smile. Alice was a ball of energy and often forgot not everyone had that much stamina.

"How was your trip?" Bella asked as they backed out the driveway.

They short car ride was spent talking about the camping trip and, Edward avoided most of the details regarding the elk they managed to hunt down seeing how Bella was a little hesitant on the thought of hunting animals; but she still enjoyed talking about the male bonding the four men enjoyed every once in a while.

Bella knew Edward missed his brothers, before Emmett and Jasper left for college the three of them used to spend almost every weekend doing some sort of activity together; and even if we wouldn't admit to it, she knew he also missed bickering with Rosalie.

When the three eldest left for college, Bella noticed Alice and Edward were a little down. As where, Carlisle and Esme, they were a very close family, closer than any blood family she knew. Bella had the theory that being adopted and foster children had created a bond between them that most other siblings lacked. Most of them came from similar backgrounds.

Edward had been the first, adopted when he was merely six years old, his mother was a distant relative of Carlisle's; so when Edward's parents died, he had been left to the care of the newlywed Cullen couple. Esme was thrilled, having discovered she couldn't conceive children she embraced Edward as her own. When Edward turned seven, Esme's cousin- a single mother- passed away, leaving an eight-year-old Rosalie to her care.

Rose and Edward's relationship had been rocky from the start. Up until that point, both children had been an only childs; not really accustomed to sharing and still trying to settle in their new lives had made for a very tense relationship between the two. Strangely enough, their bond developed into that of two normal bickering siblings.

By the time Edward and Rosalie were ten and eleven years old respectively, the Cullen's lived in Tennessee for a short period of time were Esme had volunteered for one of the orphanages in the city. She was immediately drawn to Emmett, one of the brightest and most energetic boys that she encountered there. She signed up to be his foster mother, and soon after she had legally adopted him.

Emmett was a great addition to the family, he and Edward bonded instantly, and his good humor always made Rosalie smile- although she would never admit it, Rosalie developed a crush for Emmett since the first day they met; he in turn didn't notice the pretty blonde as more than friend until she transformed into the beauty she was now. Their romantic relationship started years later on their freshman year in highschool.

Alice joined them the same year Emmett did, this time it was Carlisle who found her. Her previous foster family took her in to see the doctor for a normal check-up. The eleven- year-old Alice quickly took to the doctor, charming him on that first visit; soon Carlisle found out her foster family was not a permanent one and quickly filled for adoption.

Two years later the family moved to Forks were they secured a permanent residence. They adapted well to the small town life and after most of the town's gossip had dissipated on the new comers they settled into a happy lifestyle.

When Bella moved to Forks, she was instantly attracted to the extravagant family. Edward was the first one he spoke too, when they shared a table on biology, he soon introduced her to Alice, who by the end of the day, was her new best friend. She then, developed a relationship with Emmett and Rosalie when they all shared the lunch period.

A month later Jasper was placed at the Cullen's home, he wasn't adopted since he was placed there a few months shy of celebrating his 18th birthday. However, the bond the southerner made with the family was the closest thing he ever knew to a family.

Bella was surprised to see how easily she fit into their dynamics, but the closer she got to the Cullen's the more she understood how compassionate and embracing they all were. It was all a product of Carlisle and Esme's upbringing. Bella just hoped someday her own family would resemble one as close as theirs.

"Hey, you look like you're a thousand miles away… what are you thinking about?" Edward asked interrupting her thoughts.

She shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "I'm just glad the guys are spending the summer here."

Edward nodded, making the final turn into Bella's drive way. "Do you have to go back immediately?" Bella asked looking at him expectantly as he parked the car.

"Not really," Edward answered with a smile, leaning down to kiss her.

They kissed for a few minutes, simply enjoying the soft touches and teasing lips. The tender embrace slowly escalating into desperate caresses and passionate open-mouthed kisses. When Edward pulled Bella's light frame from her seat to straddle him, she knew it was time to stop. As much as she wanted more, they already knew they Volvo was uncomfortable and -more importantly- it wouldn't be long before Charlie peeked outside and came out with the shot gun.

She pulled back hesitantly, pushing her hands against his chest. "No, come back," he breathed, snaking a hand up to her hair, the other one moving from her waist to her hip, grasping and pushing her softly against him again.

_Oh, well… just a little bit more. _Bella thought, succumbing once more to the temptation of his skilled lips and the amazing electricity between them.

Her hands moved from his chest to his grasp his unruly bronze tresses, earning a throaty moan from him. She leaned more on to him, until their chests were pressed together. His eager teenage hormones took control the moment he felt her plump breasts pushed tightly into him. With a mind of their own, both of his hands moved down cup her ass, pushing her warm center into his bulging crotch.

Bella gasped, releasing his lips and throwing her head back. She followed the pace his hands set, grinding her hips against his, biting her lip almost painfully not wanting her loud moans to fill the car. Letting her continue the pace, Edward's hands trailed up her waist and under her black t-shirt, lifting them till they reached her breasts. Nibbling her neck he sneaked one hand under her bra, grasping the soft skin underneath and teasing her already tight nipple.

"Ahh," Bella whimpered, thrusting her hips a little faster.

"God, Bella…" Edward moaned into her neck, pressing his face into her crook where her neck and shoulder met, effectively stifling his own primal groans.

Bella's hushed moans teased Edward's self control, giving in, he kept one hand pressed against her breast, his fingers teasing, and moved the second hand back to her ass helping her frantic movements. The heat between causing a light sheet of sweat between them, their mingled scents becoming more pronounced as they rushed for release.

Edward felt her body tighten above him, her legs shaking as she pushed herself forward, a loud gasp escaping her lips; he let himself go, succumbing into the white-hot pleasure she always granted.

Coming down from her high, Bella's limp form collapsed into Edward's arms. She sighed softly, placing a light kiss on his neck; her hands still on his hair but instead of pulling and grasping- like they were a moment ago- she was running her fingers through the back of his head, curling his soft locks with her digits. The sweet touches pointedly contrasting the raw need from before.

Slightly embarrassed for his lack of control, Edward pulled his right hand from under her bra straightening her shirt protectively and joining his other hand on the small of her back. His long fingers tracing light circles there.

He chuckled at his proclaimed 'self control' that always seemed to go out the window Bella was near.

"What are you laughing at?" she mumbled leaning back to look at him.

Edward took a good look at her, her shirt was still in place, but slightly crumpled as he was sure his was too, her hair was complete mess, a little frizzy and probably just as disheveled as his- he loved it. Her lips were swollen and even in the poor light of his Volvo he could tell the soft skin of her chin was pink thanks to his stubble.

He shook his head. "You look beautiful," he said.

"Don't change the subject," she laughed poking his ribs.

"I'm not, I just wanted to tell you how gorgeous you look." He poked her back.

She blushed, her already pink cheeks turning a bright red. "That's because… you know," she mumbled.

"No. I don't… what am I supposed to know?" he asked coking an eyebrow.

Bella rolled her eyes, trying to hold back a smile. "Well… I probably look… you know… properly fucked."

Edward's eyes widened and Bella's laughter echoed through the small car. "God… you are… such a… prude!" Bella said in between laughs.

Edward gaped at her before taking his revenge, ticking her sides until she was squealing for him to stop. She bumped into the steering wheel a few times, accidentally honking the car more than once.

"Stop, Charlie will come out," Bella panted pushing him away.

He laughed along with her, but stopped when her front light was turned on. That was strike one in Charlie's world. It meant he knew they were outside and Bella better come in soon or they'll be hell to pay.

"Oh-oh, looks like your spending the night in jail," Bella said in a sing-song voice.

Edward snorted playfully. Giving her a last chaste peck before she slid of him and into her seat. "You coming in?" she asked.

"Um, I…" he hesitated.

"Don't you need to use the bathroom?" Bella giggled, looking down at his crotch.

This time Edward blushed, realizing she was right. He needed to clean himself up, thanks to their previous activities. However, going into Charlie Swan's house after what just happened was not the brightest idea possible; yet, risk of getting shot was slightly better than going home were Emmett would surely find out and tease him endlessly.

In the end, the longing he felt for just a few more moments with Bella won out. He agreed to stay a little bit, making sure his shirt covered his crotch he stepped out the car and opened Bella's door.

Bella stepped out, and reached to straighten Edward's full blown sex hair. She giggled, she thought they had passed the 'dry humping' on the car stage a while back when they started having sex. However, it seemed they didn't and Bella loved knowing how passionate they were about each other.

She was glad Edward decided to stay, she had totally lost track of what she needed to discuss with him from the moment he kissed her. Nevertheless, she knew it was important. Sure, it would've been better to discuss it without risk of Charlie overhearing them, but she knew she would be restless until she questioned him about what Alice had told her.

Once inside, Edward promptly greeted the Chief of Police. Bella quickly distracted Charlie, with Alice-like enthusiasm she told her father all about her shopping trip and the upcoming plans for the graduation party giving Edward the perfect opening to excuse himself to the bathroom.

When Charlie went back to his couch Bella took her bags upstairs and went back down to see Edward sitting on her kitchen table.

"You hungry? I'm gonna make Charlie a sandwich, want one?" she asked opening the fridge.

"Sure," he said, standing up and helping her prepare them.

Edward washed his hands on the sink while Bella pulled out the toaster, setting it down on the counter she took a deep breath and started the conversation she promised herself she would have.

"So… Alice bought some bridal magazines today," she said nonchalantly, seeing Edward tense out of the corner of her eye.

When he didn't reply, she took a step next to him, washing her hands as he dried his. She avoided his gaze, still scared of the outcome. "When I told her we hadn't really discussed anything else regarding the future she seemed very surprised…" Bella trailed off, shutting the water off and turning to look at Edward.

He handed her the towel, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "How much did she actually say?"

"What are you afraid she said, Edward?" Bella put her hands on her waist as if standing her ground.

Edward noticed the defiance in her eyes, and realized he had to tell her what his plans were. He just hoped she would let him explain.

"Ok, here's the thing. I know that we never really discussed this…. actually, we haven't really discussed anything beyond next week's party…" Edward didn't think this would be so difficult.

Honestly he knew he was crazy; responsible eighteen year old's didn't get married! he knew they were too young, and that it was probably way to early for them to settle down. He could list hundreds of reasons why this was a bad idea, and yet, it didn't matter, he wanted to be with Bella forever, so why wait? If they were still going to be together five, ten, or twenty years from now, then what was the difference.

Pausing for a moment, Edward took Bella's hand on his own and decided to just come out and say it.

"Let's get married this summer." His green eyes searched her shocked brown ones for any sing of acceptance.

Bella was shocked, she knew it was coming, hell, she was the one who started this mess. Yet, knowing it was coming and actually hearing him say it were two very different things. She took a second to register her emotions, apart from the obvious surprise of his statement, she felt… overwhelmed?

Not being able to pinpoint her feelings distressed her enormously… this wasn't at all like when he proposed, there was no instant happiness, that, at least she could recognize. She felt tears forming in her eyes, irritation growing with every second.

"Bella?" Edward's voice brought her out of her downward spiral.

She snapped out of it, shaking her head slightly she unknowingly grasped his hand tighter, seeking the comfort only his touch could give.

"Why?" she managed to ask in a small voice.

Edward didn't know what to say, this was exactly the reason he hadn't mentioned anything to her. Somehow, he knew her reaction wouldn't be good.

Hoping he could find the words to correctly express his feelings he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her; relief flowed through him when she tightly hugged him back, giving him the last bit of courage he needed to continue.

"I know its crazy… " He closed his eyes, resting his chin on the top of her head, having her in his arms helped his confidence. "… but I love the idea of starting a new life without you. I know we haven't discussed what's going to happen next semester, but I know that we're going to be together… and I just thought we should do it right. It may be old-fashioned and outdated, but I would like us to get married before we get to start this new life together."

Bella listened, enjoying the comfort his touch sent, she closed her eyes and breathed in his sweet scent. Hearing his deep voice helped ease her alarm. Now, wrapped into his arms, she was able to recognize her emotions, happiness returned when Edward professed his loved once again, but it was mostly overshadowed by how scared she felt, and the slight irritation at herself for being so incredibly selfish.

Here was the love of her life, offering everything she could ever wish for in a silver platter, and she was scared of starting a new life with him?

Sure, marriage had always been overrated in her opinion. The idea of two people joining their lives together was completely romantic in her opinion, however, she just didn't understand why there was always a need to marry, as if signing a piece of paper would ensure a long-lasting love.

Perhaps, it was all because of her mother's views on the subject. Growing up with Renee, a divorced- practically single- mother, who was always in and out of relationships, and always made sure to point out Bella was the only good thing that came of her young marriage, was probably not the best example of what marriage meant.

However, seeing first hand how her parent's relationship collapsed, always made Bella feel like marriage was not meant for everyone. Even now, that Renee was married to Phil, her mother was always quick to point out how independent she still was in her own way. Phil traveled most of the time, leaving Renee to be her own person.

Charlie had never had a relationship after Renee- not that Bella knew at least; as far as Bella was concerned, Charlie had never thought of marrying again, although, Bella had the slight suspicion, it was more to the fact that her dad was still in love with her mother.

Needless to say, the Cullen's marriage was the only close thing she had ever known resembling a solid long-lasting relationship. Bella knew this was the reason Edward had no hesitations towards the subject, and also, the reason he would never really comprehend her reluctance.

"I'm sorry," she said into his chest, Edward held her tighter. "Everything you just said… I get it, I really do… Because I feel the same way."

Bella leaned back, finally looking at him directly. "But… aren't you scared?" she asked in a small voice, trying very hard not to avoid his eyes.

Edward smiled, relieved that her reaction could only mean she was scared. "A little." He shrugged. "But, if we go through it together, then I don't think it would be so scary."

_Together._

Bella smiled, realizing he was right, as long as they were together everything would be okay. And if a piece of paper was so important to him, then why should she deny it?

Standing on her toes, she placed a soft kiss on his lips. He leaned down, making the kiss easier, she responded eagerly, tenderly brushing her lips against his, conveying the simple adoration she knew she would never feel for anyone else.

"Lets do it," she whispered.

**August 2014**

Bella was proofreading a draft from work that Jacob had brought on her request ; trying to keep herself busy, however, it wasn't easy to concentrate thanks to the million thoughts that were running wild on her head.

One of the interns had told her that her lung was healing and they would remove the tube tomorrow morning if the X-Rays were okay. This was excellent news to Bella, who hated being in hospitals and was restless at best; she was happy she had so many visitors since it kept her occupied, but at the same time hated all the attention. She couldn't wait to go back home, start working on her novel and hopefully grow out of the monotone existence she had been leading.

Being in the hospital for two days without anything to do was a big contrast to her normally busy routine. It gave her vastless amounts of time to think about her life and what were her goals. Up until two days ago, her life consisted of going to work, getting through her busy schedule, going home, proofreading drafts, getting some dinner and going to sleep; weekends were spent driving back to Forks, visiting Charlie and driving back into town. Every now and then she had dinner with her friends, Jacob and Nessie mostly, she caught up with Angela and Ben when she went to Forks, and of course Sam would drop by at the office every now and then to get her out of the office.

Bella couldn't remember the last time she spent a full day doing nothing, and that thought haunted her. She remembered back in high school and even in college how she thought she would never be happy in corporate job, and yet, here she was living for nothing else but work.

When she realized this, she made the decision to change her life. She didn't want to just go through life, unnoticed and unhappy. She wanted more, and she would do anything to get it. She would quit her job, or at least give up her seat as Senior Editor, she would work on her novel, she would spend more time on herself, and she would try to be happy.

Two full days to herself, forced to stay in bed and do practically nothing, had made her realize how much she wanted her life to change. Edward's presence had done nothing to appease these thoughts too, she found herself thinking back, and wondering how different her life could've been with him in it.

She remembered the day she accepted his proposal to get married that last summer, very clearly. She remembered her fears, and hesitation, and for the first time in years she allowed herself to think back on everything that had happened.

_God, if I could go back in time. _

If only, she could've voiced her concerns to Edward, instead of bottling everything up in fear that she would destroy everything, then, perhaps it would've worked out between them.

"Stupid," Bella mumbled to herself, pressing her palms on her eyes and scolding herself.

There was nothing she could so now, like she had said to Edward the previous night. It was too late, it didn't matter anymore, even if his words had placed a little seed of doubt in her mind, it was to naïve to think that two people could still love each other even after all these years.

_Don't be such a girl, Bella. People move on all the time, love fades, he never even bothered to come back to Forks!_

Bella's chastised herself, squashing any hopes she knew would break her heart again; still, she couldn't agree with the rationale her mind gave her. Yes, love fades, people move on, but she never did.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her musings. Bella looked up to see a tired Edward standing on the doorway holding a large envelop with today's X-Rays. She smiled up at him, unable to hide the way she brightened up at his sight; he replied with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and stepped into the room.

"Hey, working?" he asked, setting the X-Rays up for examination.

"Yeah," she said dismissively. "You're checking them again? Dr. Evan's said they were good this afternoon, is something wrong?"

Edward tensed under questioning, his intern did tell him everything was okay. But he was slightly paranoid when it came to Bella, and thought there was really no harm in double checking. After the evening he just had, he just needed to see her to appease his thoughts. He never thought that his actions might make her seem something was wrong.

"No, no, everything's fine. Just making sure," he mumbled nothing that she was recuperating very well. The though eased some of this earlier tension.

Bella noticed it immediately, she wouldn't assume she could still read him better than anyone else could, but she was happy to realize she could at least tell when he was upset. It was easy to tell, really, his shoulders would tense, his voice carried a slight edge, and his green eyes lost some of the sparkle they always had in them.

"Are you okay?"

Edward turned to look at Bella curiously. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he snorted, the comment, however, was a little more bitter than he intended.

Bella's brow furrowed at his sarcasm. "Edward-" she started to say but Edward's voice interrupted her.

"Just drop it, okay?" his harsh tone making both of them cringe.

"Sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed for pressing for something that was obviously not her right anymore.

Edward shook his head, feeling like a complete douchebag. "No, Bella, I'm sorry… its just… its been a long day," he said, tiredly.

Bella looked at his defeated stance, the sight making her heart clench with grief. She didn't know what was wrong, but she wanted to make it better. She wanted to get up from the bed and hold him, make whatever was bothering him go away and make those green eyes sparkle just like they were supposed to.

She contained herself, however, only hoping her words would be enough. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed, running his hands over his short hair and to the back of his neck rubbing the tight muscles he found. He looked at her worried expression, and without conscious thought he sat on her the edge of her bed.

"There was an emergency at the ER this afternoon, an elderly man, who got run over by a car," Edward started, looking up ahead and not meeting Bella's sad expression, she already had an idea where his story would go.

"He had some internal bleeding, we took him to surgery right away… I thought he was strong enough to survive the procedure, the vitals were decent, no history of hypertension or heart conditions," he started ranting, replaying the information on his mind trying to see if he didn't catch a mistake.

Noting his distress Bella's hand immediately sought after his, grasping his cold fingers between her warm ones. Edward looked down at their clasped hands, seeing her thin fingers stoke his skin gave him the little comfort he needed, immediatelybringing him out of his negative thoughts.

"His body was in too much stress, he didn't make it, he died on the table," he finished, not being able to contain the sadness in his voice.

"His wife was devastated, they had been married for forty years-"

"You know it's not your fault, right?" she asked, truly concerned for his ability to blame himself for things beyond his control

Edward nodded. "You always wonder, though, what if you did things differently? What if you used a different approach, what if you waited three seconds more before making your decision, what if you hesitated less…"

Bella squeezed his hand, demanding his full attention. "There is no way to tell what could've happened, you can't blame yourself for how things turned out. You did what was best, every nurse and doctor I've spoken with has told me what a great doctor you are. Alice told me how everyone is so proud of you…"

"Its not just that," he interrupted.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. "When you do your internship you realize you always have to give the best of you. Everyone demands it, the nurses, your mentors, the attendings. There is no room for mistakes, because your mistakes will result in people dying. You learn to give everything you've got, specially in emergency medicine, you learn to be the very best you can be…"

Bella nodded, telling him she understood. Edward closed his eyes and continued. "But sometimes it's not enough, people die, you learn to live with it… It's the consequences, what I haven't quite gotten a hold of, even after all this time." He shook his head in disappointment.

"The consequences?"

"No Doctor enjoys telling the patient's family of their loved one's accident or death. I always try to explain- the best way I can- when things go wrong… why they did… but it never really matters. To that person, it won't matter what, how or why it happened, they only thing that will matter is that the person they loved is gone… And they'll always remember you as the Doctor who couldn't save them…"

Bella was silent, not knowing what to say, or how to comfort him; after all, she'd experienced what he was referring to. After her father's accident and Billy's death, Jacob had always wondered if the doctors did all they could, and even if Bella was positive that they had, both friends would always remember that hospital visit and the dreadful news they received.

"Did you tell his wife?" she decided to ask instead.

Edward nodded. "She broke down, I almost wanted to give her a sedative."

"I'm sorry," Bella mumbled lamely.

To her surprise Edward smiled, this time his eyes sparkled, and he squeezed her hand. "I am too, but it comes with the territory… It's not all bad, there are actual days when I do get so save people, but the bad days always seem to weight more."

Bella took a moment to think about his statement before asking, "Is it everything you hoped it would be?… being a Doctor, I mean."

"No," he said honestly, then seeing her furrowed expression he corrected himself. "I mean, remember back in high school? When I thought being a doctor would be okay... Carlisle made it seem to easy, and I stupidly thought I would enjoy every minute of it?" She nodded.

"Well, it wasn't easy," he chuckled. "Getting into med-school wasn't that hard, but I basically spent my undergrad years in the library; Graduate School was hard, my only salvation was Tanya…"

Edward's eyes widened at his slip, it wasn't that he didn't want to mention her, but he wasn't comfortable discussing her with Bella, yet. Before she could ask anything, Edward continued.

"Then I did my internship in NYU, that was complete hell, three day non-stop shifts, running on caffeine, sugar an pure adrenaline… but, I loved it." He laughed when he saw Bella make a face.

"Did you finish the internship in New York?" she asked, craving more information on every experience he was willing to share.

"No... I missed my family. I finished my internship here and I'm about to finish the residency in emergency medicine. So, you could say that it really wasn't as glamorous as we thought it was, but I do love it… I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else."

He smiled, realizing how much his mood had lifted by just speaking to Bella. He surprised himself by being so open about his fears when it came to his line of work, he never really spoke to anyone about them. But that had always been the case with Bella, she could always soothe any worry with just a smile.

"Thanks," he said giving her a crooked smile.

"For what?" she asked curiously, noting the way the butterflies in her stomach went wild at the sight of his boyish habit.

"Just… for letting me get my frustrations out on you."

Bella laughed shaking her head. "No need to thank me, I love talking to you." As soon as the words escaped her mouth she blushed.

Edward was marveled by her confession, and a little speechless at the intimacy the statement caused. Ridiculous, if you took into account the fact that they'd done things a lot more intimate than talk.

The tension in the atmosphere was palpable, her simple words lead their conversation into dangerous waters; and neither of them knew how to respond. After a few seconds of silence, Bella's desperation caused her to press for more information.

"So, who's Tanya?" she asked, remembering the name from his conversation.

If she planned to break the tension with the question, she was about to be very disappointed. Edward clenched his eyes shut, silently chastising himself for his previous slip. Knowing there was really no reason to hide this information, like a ripping a band-aid, he would just do it, quick and hopefully painless.

"My fiancée," he said, looking down at the sheets.

Bella's eyes widened and squeezed his hand in shock, making them both realize they were still clasped together.

"Oh." Was the only thing she could respond, absentmindedly releasing her hold on him and resting her hands on her lap.

The loss of warmth did not go unnoticed by Edward, however, he wasn't about to prevent her from recoiling, as much as he wanted to.

Bella tried to wipe the shocked expression from her face, mentally trying to make herself offer any sort of congratulations, but she couldn't. Her heart wouldn't allow her to do anything that would indicate she was okay with the love of her life marrying someone else.

Her mind reeled trying to process the information. Edward was engaged! He had a girlfriend since Graduate School!

_Then why is it… _Her mind asked her. _ Why did he try to kiss me the first night we say each other again? Why did he care about what happened to me? _

Not being able to respond her own questions, she became desperate to know more about this _Tanya _woman, and the right she thought she had to come between Edward and her. She knew she wasn't being reasonable, but she was powerless against the sudden anger she had at the woman who had stole Edward's heart.

"When is the wedding?" she asked with a light harshness that didn't go unnoticed by Edward.

Confused by her reaction, Edward grew even more reluctant to talk about his girlfriend. "Well… that's not decided yet… it's a long engagement," he said, wincing at his choice of words.

He wondered if Bella would compare it to the very short engagement they shared and ask if it meant anything.

Bella did catch his words, but had no idea what to make of them. "Why?" she asked, totally unaware of her inappropriate questions.

Edward's anger flared. "Well, I guess I learn from my mistakes," he said, coldly.

He regretted his words the moment they left his mouth, Bella's taken aback expression and the glassiness of her eyes made him feel like he had someone just dropped a bucket of ice cold water on him. "Bella, I-"

"Stop." Bella shook her head, closing her eyes and laughing bitterly. She deserved that, after all, they were engaged for less than two months before she went and ruined everything on their wedding day.

Bella realized what his words meant she thought Edward learned from his mistakes, this time a long engagement was better than just getting married on a whim. His words were like a slap on the face, cold and sudden, yet it served to see she had no place acting the way she just did.

_People move on, love fades. _

Sighing, Bella realized it was her turn to speak. "I'm sorry, Edward-"

"No, no, Bella, I'm sorry, what I said was out of line… I didn't mean-" he pleaded, hoping she would understand; but once again the feeling of her hand upon his own made him stop.

"No, Edward, this apology has a long time coming," she said giving him a teary smile. "I'm sorry for what I did to you… I… was scared and I'm just so sorry, about everything, and about us…I-" her last words come out more as sobs, there was only so much emotion she could hold in.

Edward couldn't take seeing her cry, he quickly scooted closer, opening his arms and letting her sob in his shoulder. The pain in his gut, more evident at seeing her in such pain, his own tears threatening to fall and make a fool of himself.

"I'm sorry too, Bella, I thought it was so easy. I…"

"No," she sobbed pulling back and looking up at him. "It wasn't your fault. When I-"

Bella never finished her sentence, a loud knock let them now of an intruder in their conversation. Releasing Bella, he stood up to see Nurse McLaggen at the doorway, clipboard in hand, ready to do her last round before heading home.

"Can I come in?" she asked, with a little too much authority. Edward nodded, knowing she was probably wondering why as a doctor he was holding a sobbing patient, that sort of closeness was not allowed.

The nurse gave him a questioning glance, before stepping into the room rolling the vitals machine behind her.

"Bella, darling, are you feeling okay?" she asked, giving Bella a klennex.

Bella nodded, wiping her tears and giving her a half smile. Everyone was silent while she took her pressure and temperature.

"You're temperature is a little higher than normal," McLaggen frowned.

"What?" Edward asked, unable to stop himself he pressed the palm of his hand on Bella's cheek taking her temperature.

"It's not that high," the nurse said raising an eyebrow at him. "It's probably because she was crying."

"Or she could have an infection," he said, almost glaring at the woman, but barely containing himself.

"I feel fine," Bella said quickly, trying to ease Edward's concern.

McLaggen nodded and scribbled some notes on her chart. "Well, sweetie, you still have one night, if you develop a fever we might have to keep you a little longer."

Bella groaned making her chuckle. "Or, if everything is okay you'll be released tomorrow as scheduled." With the comment, he gave her chart over to Edward and with a warning glance stepped out of the room.

"I really feel fine, there's no need to stay another night," Bella said pleadingly.

Edward just chuckled, glancing at the X-Rays. "Well, if you don't develop a fever then we'll let you go. You lung is completely healed and we can remove the tube soon, just promise me that you'll tell someone if you feel off, hospital infections are serious."

She nodded, feeling exhausted. "Do you have any other patients to take care of?"

"You're tired, I'll let you sleep," he said taking the X-Rays off the light display.

"No!" she said a little too loudly, "Don't go," she mumbled.

Edward hesitated, he was probably raising a lot of eyebrows by staying too long in her room. He knew McLaggen wouldn't say anything to anyone, but he wasn't anxious to go back to the conversation they were having. However, seeing Bella's bloodshot eyes and sad expression was enough to convince him to stay.

"Alice came over today?" he asked, changing the subject and taking a seat next to the bed.

Bella smiled instantly. "Yeah, she gave me your lunch since you so were busy."

They continued talking about Alice's visit; Bella told him about how Alice told her about his brothers and what they were up to. He briefly noted how his sister didn't mention anything about Tanya to Bella, but decided not to dwell too much on it.

Bella noticed how, just like with Alice, it was easy to talk to Edward just like before as long as they stayed clear of certain topics, they could still joke and tease and carry a whole conversation without one of them lashing out or any embarrassing tears. Edward noticed it too.

About an hour later, a loud speaker announced that visiting hours were over, and Edward noticed Bella looked like she was about to topple over in exhaustion.

"I should go, Alice is expecting me for dinner," Edward said standing up.

Bella nodded, biting her lower lip she asked. "Are you taking the tube out tomorrow?" She really didn't care who removed it, she just wanted to see Edward again.

Her hopes were crushed however, when she say his nervous expression. "Actually, I'm not on call tomorrow. Evan's will probably do it."

"Oh," she replied, obviously disappointed.

Suddenly, they both realized this could be the last time they would see each other. With Bella released, they really had no excuse to keep in contact, unless they actually wanted to.

Gathering whatever courage she could muster, Bella decided to step in, if she wanted to change her life, if she wanted this new life to be happy one then she knew Edward had to be in it. Regardless if it was just as an acquaintance, perhaps in time, they could still be friends again.

"You still like Jazz music?" she asked, very aware of the randomness of her question.

Edward looked a little confused at the sudden change in topic but replied nonetheless. "Yeah, I do, why?"

Bella bit her lip, a furious blush spreading over her cheeks, but her resolve stayed. "There's this really cool bar downtown, 'Mickey's', have you heard of it?" She paused, Edward shook his head in response. "Well, they play really cool, local jazz artists. Would you like to go?... As friends I mean… maybe you could bring your fiancée… and Alice and Jasper can come too," Bella ranted embarrassed by her botched up attempt to ask for his friendship.

Edward couldn't contain his smirk at seeing her so nervous; he, himself had been thinking of a way to see her again. He didn't want to think much of his need to keep in contact with her, but he had already decided he would get Alice to arrange something so he wouldn't have to embarrass himself.

Apparently, Bella had taken a more forward approach. "That would be cool," he said, appeasing her rant. "Although, Alice and Jasper still hate Jazz music, and Tanya is not a big fan either," he paused, "But we can go, you know… as friends, catch up, if you want to, I mean." Bella giggled now that it was Edward who was rambling.

"I would love to," Bella said giving him a smile.

Edward chuckled, briefly wondering what mess he was getting himself into, but he realized he didn't care. Having Bella as a friend was better than no Bella at all.

Leaning forward, he placed a quick kiss on her forehead, his heart making a back flip when he caught a whiff of her floral scent from her hair.

"Goodnight, Bella, sweet dreams," he said stepping back.

"Night, Edward," she simply replied.

Too dazzled to say anything more she watched him leave the room, leaving her feeling ecstatic and hopeful.

**

"Friends?!" Alice screeched, handing Edward another plate to dry.

They had just finished their dinner, Alice had mostly kept quiet, giving him the chance to bring the topic of Bella by himself; it wasn't her idea, but Jasper had told her to just wait for Edward to be ready to talk about it.

Now, brother and sister were washing dishes, and Edward had just told Alice that Bella and him had agreed to be friends. To say she was disappointed would've been a complete understatemen. She had spent all afternoon, nervously waiting for him to barge in and announce that Bella and him had gotten back together and he was finally getting the happy ending he deserved.

The reality, however, was completely anti-climatic. Edward came in, looking hammered but with a bright smile on his face, and instead of announcing his relationship with the love of his life was back he went into 'Dr. Cullen' mode with Jasper and then sat down to dinner.

It wasn't until they started clearing the table that Edward, offhandedly mentioned, about Bella and how she came into his life again. Once, in the kitchen, Jasper leaned against the opposite counter, only noting his presence by a light sniff here and there, while Alice and Edward got to work in the dishes.

"What did you expect, Ali?" Edward asked, slightly irked by her response.

"More! I expected more from you two. Did you even talk about what you felt?" she scolded shutting off the water faucet, and drying her hands.

"Alice," Jasper warned, sounding a little funny with his cold.

"Feel about what? What's there to talk about?" Alice gasped at his brother's stupid remark.

Jasper just shook his head.

"Alice, please, don't," Edward warned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Alice's expression turned from outraged shock to concern. "Edward, she tried to go after you," she said softly.

Edward nodded. "I know, but it's just too late. We… we're not the same people, I am not the same person, and I have Tanya now, I'm engaged for fuck's sake," he said, a sudden anger spreading all over him.

"Edward-" Alice started but Jasper interrupted.

"Friendship is the base of any good relationship." Alice and Edward turned to look at him, curious of his statement.

"Bella and Edward didn't work out for a reason, darling," he said to his wife, then turning to Edward he continued, "And Tanya, is a wonderful woman, Edward… but you have to consider what this need to be near Bella is."

Edward and Alice's confused stare would've been funny if it wasn't regarding this particular discussion. "Listen, all I'm saying is, there's really no harm rekindling a friendship that meant so much to you… but, giving your past history it might be hard to stay on that level."

"So you're saying?" Edward pressed, with a wave of his hand. Alice giggled when Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Proceed with caution. If Bella and you can stay friends then maybe that's the closure you need, if you can't…" Jasper said with shrug.

Jasper let Edward draw his own conclusions, ignoring the glare he was getting from his wife. For her part, Alice decided to let Edward think about it a little longer, she just hoped in the end things would work out for them. She knew, however, that no matter the outcome someone was going to end up getting hurt.

* * *

please leave your comments! I live for them.

as a side note and shameless self-promotrion, this story is my baby and I love it to death, but sometimes drama is hard and makes me emo. So, apart from ATOTE, my pervert alterego is doing another awesome collaboration with XShear.

A smutty one-shot series sort of style fic... so check it out on my profile page. its called: 101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die.

**PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER!! **

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	12. Chapter 11

Hey guys! Here's another chapter!!

I have to warn you though, its not as long as most chapters. But there are a lot of little things happening I didn't want the chapter to feel 'random'. Hopefully, you guys will like it, and even if you don't please comment on it.

Some of you might know, it was my birthday this weekend!!! Yeii!, 22!! And, because I'm greedy, if you wanna leave me a present.. leave a review ;)!!

ALSO... **HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!** to my mom, of course!! and to all the Mom's out there!! YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY ROCK!!!!! you are the glue of every family and the best part too!

Thanks to B- who gave me a wonderful present LOL- A Cullen banner, just for me ;) [if you know what I'm talking about the poster is on the forum!]

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

* * *

**May 2005**

"That was the longest party, ever!" Bella complained taking off her heels and stretching her toes.

Edward nodded leaning back against the couch of his bedroom. "You shouldn't get too comfortable, someone needs to drive me home, remember?" Bella scolded, glaring at Alice's death traps.

She should have been in a better mood, taking into account that they just graduated from high school and just hosted one of the biggest parties to have ever occurred in Forks. Nevertheless, Edward understood where the irritation came from, apart from being completely exhausted- like he was- Bella had practically been the center of attention throughout the whole party, thanks to the pretty engagement ring that now grazed her finger.

It was almost as if every girl in their generation had asked Bella to recount the details on their engagement, stalking her all through the night and gossiping behind her back. She thought she was being paranoid at first, but it seemed everywhere she turned people were staring at her.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she stepped out to get some air and overheard Jessica and Lauren whispering outside, they had stepped out to smoke a cigarette, and enjoy some snarky gossip on the side.

**

"_She must be pregnant, there's no other excuse," Lauren sneered, taking a drag. _

_Jessica nodded, albeit hesitantly. "Well, she's not showing... Did you see what she was wearing? It's not a forgiving dress at all…"_

"_Pssh," Lauren snorted, putting out her cigarette. "Mark my words, a few months from now we'll hear Chief Swan bragging about his grandchild." _

_Jessica giggled, nodding and mimicking Lauren's actions. "Sucks, though. Edward could do so much better, now he'll be stuck with plain-Bella and a kid to boot," she said with disdain. _

"_I mean, how hard is it to wear a condom?" Jessica continued with a huff of annoyance. _

"_Oh, please! Don't be naïve Jess, she probably planned it," Lauren responded with a snicker. _

_Her friend gasped. "You think so?" _

_Lauren shrugged. "Jess, her rich boyfriend is leaving to an east coast school. What better way to get him to take you, than getting knocked up?... Snag him up before he can run away." _

"_Lauren, isn't that a bit much?" Jessica asked reluctantly._

"_Isn't that what her mother did? Didn't she leave the Chief cause she was too good for little old Forks?... That's probably what Bella thinks too, hey, I don't blame her! I'd probably do the same!" Lauren said with a mocking laugh. _

"_Bitch!" Jessica teased, although a bit uncomfortable of her friend's accusations. _

_Bella stood frozen in the doorway, eavesdropping on the poisonous conversation the two girls were having. She was equal parts infuriated, hurt and embarrassed. Fighting back angry tears she decided she wasn't going to let Lauren and Jessica slander her and mother's name. _

_With shaking knees and angry clenched fists, Bella stomped down the steps of the Cullen's main entrance and stalked towards them. Just as she was about to shout a stream of profanities she was interrupted by the call of her name._

"_Bella!" Helen, a girl from Bella's Calculus class, shouted from the door. _

_Lauren and Jessica turned at the commotion, the former's eyes almost bulging out from shock. Lauren pursed her lips, obviously nervous from being caught. _

"_Oh… Alice was looking for you," Helen said reaching Bella and casting a not so subtle glance at her left hand. _

_Bella tried her best to hide her anger from the oblivious girl, casting a death glare towards Lauren and Jessica she decided to just let it go. It wasn't as if she didn't expect those kinds of comments from them. _

_Sighing, she took a step towards the house, softly thanking Helen for letting her know. However, before she could take one step her classmate spoke up once more. _

"_Would you mind showing us the ring?" the girl asked excitedly. _

_Bella tried her best to ignore the snickers coming from Lauren and put up her polite smile. Nodding, she took a hesitant step towards Helen and lifted her left hand to show her the exquisite diamond ring. _

_Among uuhh's and aah's Bella was unable to hide the vengeful blush that colored her cheeks. She was painfully aware of Lauren whispering something into Jessica's ear, and Jessica throwing Bella an apologetic look. _

_However, she didn't stay long after that. As soon as she could, she reclaimed her hand and rushed inside to find Alice, desperately trying to erase any angry tears her friend would discover. _

_**_

Bella groaned when her sore feet reached the ground, lifting herself from Edward's bed, she patted softly over to her boyfriends form. She sat beside him, instantly leaning over to his side.

Instinctively, Edward draped his arm over her, pulling her closer to him. Bella took a moment to remind herself Lauren and Jessica's comments didn't matter. This was Edward's and her decision, what did it matter what everyone else thought?

"Did you have fun?" Edward asked, lazily resting his chin on top of her head.

"It was okay," Bella responded, nuzzling closer to Edward's neck.

She didn't really lie, she edited. Earlier on, she had decided she wouldn't tell Edward about her encounter with high school's gossip queens. It would just upset him, and for some inane reason Bella still had trouble understanding, Edward didn't seem to show any doubts about the marriage.

Last Sunday, Bella had agreed to a simple weeding at the beginning of August, just a few weeks shy to the start of their freshman semester on Dartmouth. She finally agreed to let Edward help her financially, which also meant he would be covering most of the expenses for the wedding. Something Bella wasn't worrying about, since she planned to make the event as simple and intimate as possible.

In short, they'd compromised as best they could. Bella would let Edward pay for Dartmouth and the wedding, however, once they got to New Hampshire both would try to make ends meet without relying completely on Edward's trust fund.

He wasn't allowed, under any circumstance, to buy her a car or any sort of extravagant expense. There would be no honeymoon trip, mostly because of the little time they would have to settle into the new city before starting school.

After her conversation with Alice, and Edward's reassurance of his decision, Bella felt more at ease with the idea, and the daily morning affirmations were helping too, at least that was what Bella tried to convince herself of.

The first person they told was Charlie, who as expected, gave them a weary approval, but an approval nonetheless. Bella's father said he knew it was coming, and wished they would've waited a couple of years, but said he would be happy as long a Bella was.

**

"_Is this what you want, Bells?" Charlie asked her, soon after Edward had left. _

_Bella bit her lip, thinking her words carefully before saying them. "I want to be with him forever," she replied honestly. _

"_I felt the same way, you know, with Renee," he said, giving her a pointed look. _

_Her stomach churned at the comment; she knew he hadn't meant to say he understood their love, nor did he want to be cruel. He just said it to make her realize, he had dreamt the same things, and they hadn't worked out. _

"_I want this, dad," she said with finality. _

_Charlie sighed, standing up from his seat and hugging her shoulders. "I just want you to be happy, kiddo." _

_Bella's heart melted at the gesture, his dad had never been one for too much affection. "I am, dad. Don't worry," she said giving him a peck on the cheek. _

_**_

Carlisle and Esme had been next; it wasn't too much of a surprise for them, since they both knew of Edward's intentions. Their response had been happy and supportive, a good contrast to Charlie.

**

"_Oh, Bella, I'm so happy for you guys," Esme said with tears in her eyes. "We can have it here! Oh, it'll be so beautiful." _

_Bella nodded, embarrassed by the whole thing; as always her cheeks flushed and vibrant. _

"_Thank you, Esme, that would be wonderful," she replied unsteadily._

"_We have to get planning right away, I'll call you mom tonight and start-"_

"_No!" Bella practically shouted. "Sorry, it's just we haven't told Mom yet. She's on a trip and I won't get a hold of her until next week." _

"_That's okay, dear. You tell her to call me when she's ready." Esme beamed. _

_Bella nodded sneaking a weary glance at Edward. He squeezed her hand reassuringly while Esme continued to talk about flower arrangements, guest lists, and a lot of things Bella wasn't completely interested in. _

**

Bella still hadn't been able to contact Renee, who she suspected, had probably lost her cell phone. Bella decided to just wait until her mother returned her call, more than likely that would happen today, to congratulate her on graduating.

"Edward?" Bella asked, slightly afraid he had fallen asleep.

She briefly wondered how angry Charlie would be if she didn't show up tonight. That same morning, right before he dropped her off at the Cullen's, her father had made it very clear that even if she was engaged, that did not mean any funny business was allowed.

Bella flinched as she thought of Charlie's reaction when he realized she never came home. Then again, it wasn't as if she was in an unsafe place. Looking up to see Edward's sleeping form, Bella giggled, realizing she was in the safest place she could ever be… Edward's arms.

Sighing Bella decided Charlie would just have to understand. After all, driving half asleep was very dangerous; surely the Chief of Police would empathize.

"Love," Bella whispered, leaning and kissing his neck.

"Mhm, I'm up… let's go," Edward mumbled, opening his eyes and blinking a few times.

She giggled, shaking her head. "Nah, I'm staying. I don't want you to kill me, speeding while you're half asleep."

"Charlie's gonna kill me… you sure??"

"I'll protect you," she said, giving him a light kiss. Edward chuckled against her soft mouth.

Bella stood up, pulling him up from the couch and leading him to his bed. Not bothering to undress Bella lay down on the comfortable bed. Edward followed suit, taking his shoes off and lying down next to her. He reached his arm out, grasped her waist and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, draped an arm over his chest and tangled her left leg with his; sighing contently, she let Edward's breathing lull her into a peaceful sleep.

**

Two days later Bella arrived home after her shift on Newton's outfitters. She noticed her Dad wasn't home yet, the cruiser was nowhere to be seen and the house was silent as she stepped into the threshold.

Once in the kitchen, Bella pulled out the ingredients for a casserole, intent on having dinner ready by the time Charlie got home. He had not been very understanding about her spending the night at the Cullen's. When Edward dropped her off, the silent treatment her father had been giving her was enough to let her know he was not happy at her at all.

Hoping a yummy dinner would help her get on her father's good graces, Bella set off to work. Once the casserole was in the oven, she noticed a message sitting on the counter next to the phone.

_Renee called. I'll be back at 5. _

Pursing her lips, Bella decided she might at least try to reach her mother. It seemed they had been playing phone tag for the past two days, every time she called, Bella wasn't there and vice versa.

Bella dialed the long distance number and waited patiently for the call to go through. After two dial tones her mother's sweet voice answered.

"Hello."

"Hey, Mom, its me," Bella replied smiling; she really did miss her.

"Bella! Honey, how are you? How was graduation? Oh, Charlie told me about Dartmouth, sweetie, I'm so proud of you," Renee rambled on the phone.

"I'm good. Graduation went well… what else did Charlie say?" Bella asked taking a seat on a nearby chair.

"Oh, just that you finally decided on Dartmouth… did you get the package I sent you?"

Bella felt relieved that Charlie hadn't said much to her mother. "Yes, I did. Thanks, Mom, I love the bracelet."

"So… Charlie said you needed to talk to me?" Renee asked tentatively.

Bella bit her lip; she knew no amount of pep-talk would've ever given her enough courage to have this conversation. However, she suddenly wished for more time to figure out a way to give the 'happy' news to her mom.

"Bella?" she pressed.

Taking a deep breath, Bella sent a silent prayer everything would be alright and continued the conversation.

"Yeah… I have news!" she tried to say happily.

"What kind of news, sweetie?"

"Mommy… I'm getting married," Bella said, enunciating every word.

The eerie silence that greeted her did nothing to appease her worries. "Renee?"

"Are you pregnant?" Renee asked softly.

"What? No, of course not," Bella snapped.

That seemed to be the response she was getting everywhere. It irritated her to no end that her mother believed so as well.

"Then... why are you getting married?" Renee countered, her tone rising.

"Edward proposed and-"

"Just because someone asks you, Bella, doesn't mean you have to say 'yes'," her mother reprimanded.

"I wanted to say 'yes'!" Bella argued.

Like clockwork, Bella heard the front door open and her father set his gun on the hallway table.

"Mom… I know this may seem silly to you… but, I love Edward and we want to get married-" Bella tried to explain, her voice soft and pleading.

Renee interrupted her once more. "I think you are rushing things, Isabella-"

"Will you let me finish!" Bella yelled, her emotions raging.

Just then, Charlie made his way to the kitchen, clearly startled by his daughter's scream. "What's going on?" he asked, giving her a confused stare.

Bella shook her head. "Mom," she continued, now very aware of her mother's silence and her father's presence. "Edward proposed on out trip to Jacksonville, but we wanted to wait until graduation to tell everyone… we talked and decided to get married this August, before leaving for college."

Charlie leaned against the door frame, catching on to the conversation. Part of him knew this would not end well.

"Oh, Bella," Renee cried.

"Mom, please, I need you to understand…" Bella let the words sink in. A few seconds passed with no response and Bella could feel her heart break.

"I know what its like, sweetie… you know I do… You fall in love, you think everything is so great and easy..."

Bella gaze went up to her father, knowing exactly what her mother was going to say.

"…But its not. Darling, you are eighteen years old… you'll end up regretting this… I regretted it-"

It was enough, hearing her mother say those things was not unexpected, but certainly unwanted.

"I. am. not. you!" she seethed, cutting her mother's bitter words.

Before Bella could say something she would regret, Charlie snagged the phone away from her.

"Renee, its me," he said with authority.

Bella sat there; amazed her father would step in like that. She felt a surge of hope run through her, until she heard her mother's shrill remark from the device.

"_How the hell could you encourage this?!"_ Renee practically screamed; letting Bella hear every single word.

"Calm down," Charlie replied with perfect ease.

"_Do not tell me to calm down! Your eighteen year old daughter plans to get married and you're just gonna let her?" _

"She's an adult," he said, his confidence waning.

"_She's a child…" _

"She's the same age you were when you got married," he retorted, getting ticked off by her attitude.

"_Look how well that turned out." _Renee replied with disdain.

Bella had had enough. Standing up so fast her chair tipped of behind her Bella stormed out of the kitchen and up to her room. She vaguely heard Charlie's angry response, it didn't matter that he was defending her. Somehow, Bella always knew what Renee's reaction would be. She just hoped that Renee's acceptance of Edward would soften her mother's blow up; she now knew it was silly.

When she reached her room, Bella didn't know what to do with herself. She tried to remember the last time she had yelled at her mother like that, only to realize she'd never done so.

After a few minutes of pacing around the room and trying to calm down, Bella remembered the forgotten casserole in the oven. Sprinting downstairs, she almost tripped on the last few steps. She was relieved and surprised to find Charlie sitting on the kitchen table slowly chewing a plate of casserole.

"Sorry, forgot I left it on," Bella mumbled, checking the baking dish.

"Got it out on time," Charlie responded with a shrug.

Charlie watched her daughter's clumsy movements across the kitchen, thinking of a way to make her feel better. As always, he came up short.

"Wanna talk about it, Bells?" the chief asked uncomfortably.

Bella thought of what she really wanted to talk about. More than anything he wanted to ask her father what had broken his relationship with Renee. She wanted her dad's honest opinion about her upcoming nuptials; she wanted him to reassure her that she wasn't making a mistake. In short, she wanted Charlie to give her the soothing words she craved from Renee.

However, one glance at her father's sad expression let Bella know how much he had been affected by her mother's inconsiderate words. It was no secret while her mother moved forward to her happy ending in Florida, Charlie had stayed behind in Forks.

Trying her best to give him a smile, Bella responded, "She'll come around."

Charlie nodded, nonetheless, he wasn't fooled by his daughter's horrible acting skills. Using the last weapon in his arsenal, Charlie stood up and took his half-eaten plate to the sink.

"Yeah, you're right… wouldn't worry too much. Renee knows Edward loves you… damn kid never takes his eyes off you," he said with a gruff.

He gave her a sideways glance, just in time to see a genuine smile cross her features. The pinkish blush she inherited from him making an appearance. He held back a smile of his own, it was cheep shot, but he knew it would be enough to make her feel better.

"Well," Charlie said with a sigh, "I'm off to see the game."

Bella chuckled, watching her father leave the kitchen. She resisted the urge to go and hug the life out of him; she was starting to comprehend more than ever, her dad might not be the most attentive father in the world, but he was the best dad nonetheless.

**

The following day, Bella didn't quite know what to do with herself. It was Tuesday, her day off from work. Charlie was at work, most of the housework was done. She had been planning on visiting Jacob but when she called earlier, Billy let her know he was out with Quil and Embryl.

Edward and Alice were busy for the day, Esme had tricked them into helping her do some community service at Fork's shelter, so Bella knew she would not be able to see them today. It wasn't such a bad thing, the fight with her mother was still fresh in her mind, and she hadn't exactly figured out how she was going to explain it to Edward.

Bored, Bella decided she might as well go grocery shopping. While making her list, the phone rang and Bella was quick to answer.

"Hey, what are you doing?" a happy voice asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Esme?" Bella asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Nop," Alice responded, popping her mouth.

Bella laughed. "How did you manage that?"

"Not telling… What are our plans for today?" Alice chirped.

"Wanna help me pick up some groceries?" Bella asked tentatively.

"Be there in fifteen," Alice replied, before hanging up.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, Bella heard the Volvo honk from her driveway. Taking her purse, she quickly joined her friend before speeding off.

"Does Edward know you're driving his car?"

Alice smiled mischievously. "Of course, silly, it was your idea _remember_?"

"You told Edward I asked for the car didn't you?" Bella asked, amused at the pixie.

Alice shook her head. "I merely implied you might need to go somewhere today, and Edward- being the gentleman that he is- relented the car privileges."

"He bitched about it, didn't he?"

"You have no idea," Alice giggled.

Bella laughed full heartedly.

It took them less than ten minutes to arrive to the nearest Wal-Mart, thanks to Alice's mad driving skills. Once there, Bella pushed the cart while instructing Alice what to add to it. They had fun debating on different options for the listed articles, Lucky Charms vs. Captain Crunch, Caffeinated vs. decaff, two percent vs. soy milk.

The trip took them longer than expected but was definitely a lot more enjoyable than Bella had planned. When they reached the cashiers Alice excused herself to find something, by the time she got back Bella had just finished paying up.

The car ride was just as short. Alice helped Bella carry the bags into the house, and comfortably settled herself in the kitchen while Bella put everything away.

"Sooo," Alice started in a curious tone. "Have you decided who your _mod_ is gonna be?"

Bella gave her a questioning look. "Mod?!"

"Not _mod; M-O-D…_Made Of Honor," Alice replied excitedly.

"Oh," Bella responded, mouthing the words 'made of honor'.

"Have you?" Alice pressed.

Bella set the last article on the cabinets and turned to her friend. "Ali, isn't it obvious?" she replied with an annoyed voice, ignoring Alice's hopeful eyes.

"Rosalie… of course," Bella finally said, trying to keep the corners of her mouth from turning up.

Bella watched as the pixie's face fell, after that, she couldn't hold it back anymore. Laughing he crossed the room and hugged an annoyed Alice.

"You're evil!" Alice exclaimed, catching on to Bella's teasing.

"Sorry Ali," Bella said, calming down to a light chuckle. "Alice Cullen, my best-est friend in the whole world… would you be my _M.O.D._?" Bella teased, fluttering her eyelashes.

Alice laughed at the corny request, and nodded excitedly, hugging her back.

"Great! Now, it is my duty as your MOD to present you with your first gift." Alice said excitedly reaching for her tote.

"What?" Bella asked confused.

She saw as Alice reached into her tote and pulled out a heavy three-inch blue binder. Giving her friend a questioning look she accepted the heavy article and looked down to inspect the weird present.

"Wedding planner?" Bella mumbled, flipping through the contents.

"Ok… so I got off volunteering because I told Esme we were starting wedding planning today… Edward wasn't so thrilled. But, when I saw this at the store I thought it would be the perfect way to start," she explained.

"Already?" Bella hesitated, suddenly the binder felt heavier than it should.

"Bella…" Alice whined. "You guys are getting married less than three months, honey, its time," she said with finality, yanking the planner from Bella's arms and setting it on the table.

Bella noticed Alice's determined expression and knew she wouldn't be able to talk her way out of it. Suddenly Bella's boring day made a turn for the worse.

**August 2014**

"So, you like this color?" Alice asked showing Bella the color pallet.

"I never understood your fascination with yellow," Bella replied, touching the soft fabrics.

Alice rolled her eyes. "It'll be in season!"

Bella chuckled. "Jesus, okay, I like it!" she replied, "Happy?"

"Very," Alice smiled, making a note of the routing number of the material.

They were at Alice's office, a little room on the back of her boutique. Bella had been released from the hospital the previous day. After spending a day, resting in her own bed, she took a chance and called Alice to see if she wanted to meet up like she said.

Alice had been thrilled at the call, she instantly took the opportunity. She agreed to pick her up at her apartment- since Bella's car was still at Jacob's shop- and spend the morning together. Bella was still on 'sick leave' from work, so she decided to enjoy herself; the pain on her ribs was still present, the doctors told her it would be a while before it completely went away, nonetheless, she was adamant of being as active as possible.

After picking her up, Alice had brought her to her downtown boutique to show her the drawings for her upcoming spring line. Bella was mesmerized by the beauty of her designs, she already knew Alice was well known in the fashion world, but it still amazed her how her friend had accomplished her dream.

"Ok, we're done here. Thanks for helping me out." Alice stood up from her desk and filed some papers.

Bella did the same, mindful of her movements. "No problem, believe me, your work is a lot more fun than mine."

Alice nodded. "Oh, I know," she said with a smirk. Bella stuck her tongue out to her friend.

"Lunch?" Alice asked, picking up her purse.

"Finally," Bella teased following Alice out the door.

She stood back as Alice left some instructions to the boutique's manager and waited for her to finish. Seconds later, they were out the door and in the car, discussing where to go when Alice's cell phone chirped.

"Hey," Alice greeted.

Bella looked out the window, politely distracting herself from the conversation. She was doing a good job, until she heard her name being mentioned.

"I'm actually with Bella…"

Bella faintly heard a voice respond from the speaker. Nodding, Alice turned to Bella. "Would you mind, making a detour before lunch?"

Bella shook her head in response, signaling it was okay with her. Alice beamed at the response telling her caller she would be right there.

"Sorry, Edward just got the draft of Runway's next edition and I'm dying to see it," Alice replied excitedly.

"Edward?" Bella asked, confused.

Alice bit her lip. "Tanya works with Runway magazine, she sends Edward the 'mock ups' of the issues that might interest me before they're published."

Bella did her best to hide any emotion that would arise from hearing about Edward's successful fiancé; however, her curiosity was too much to hold back.

"Isn't Runway Magazine sited in New York?"

Alice recognized the bitterness in Bella's tone, yet, she knew better than to acknowledge it. She decided to simply give her the information she craved. "New York is the fashion capital of the US, Tanya works in fashion… She visits Edward as much as she can."

"And Edward?" Bella pressed, not caring how noisy she was being.

Alice sighed, not taking her eyes of the road she answered Bella's question. "Edward is always _busy_… He lived in New York for a year-"

"NYU," Bella commented.

Alice nodded. "Yes, they lived together, but Edward didn't like New York. He said he missed the family way too much, so he transferred to Virginia Mason. They're doing the 'long distance' thing… they both seem happy with it."

Bella took a moment, debating with herself if she could ask the question she most wanted to hear the answer to.

"So he loves her?" she asked in a small voice.

"Bella-" Alice sighed, not knowing how to answer that question.

In all honesty, Alice didn't think Edward was truly happy, nevertheless, it was not her place to answer that question.

"I'm sorry, Ali, it's unfair to ask you," Bella quickly replied, embarrassed by her decision.

After a moment of silence Alice spoke up. "She was the first person to make him laugh…"

She didn't need to specify the reasons of Edward's reclusive smile. Bella nodded, feeling an imaginary knife twist her insides.

"Sometimes, I think we all need someone to love us…" Alice continued, "Edward once told me he was too selfish to let her go."

Bella gaped at her friend, a surge of faith growing at the simple statement.

"Tanya is a good woman, Bella. She is exactly what Edward needs… but, I'm not sure if she's what he wants."

Alice hoped her words wouldn't come back to haunt her. Nevertheless, she would stick with her decision, whether good or bad, she knew there was still a bond holding Bella and Edward together, she just hoped they realized it too.

* * *

So yeah, while 'Past Bella' wallows in self-doubt... 'Present Bella' finds hope from her old friend...

Next chapter we have a lot more Edward!!! so please comment on the chapter!!

wish me luck on finals!!

and once again! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

uuuhhh, and Happy B-day Rob! LOL


	13. Chapter 12

**IMPORTANT!!! I'm uploading the same chapter I uploaded on Sunday because I messed up some of the links.. so some people who got the alert for the story got a wonky email that was not working. **

**HERE IS THE CHAPTER I PROMISED LAST WEEK- AND POSTED- BUT MESSED UP WITH THE LINKS. IF YOU READ IT ALREADY, THANKYOU. IF NOT, I'M SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION. **

**-kARLA (06-30-09)  
**

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Hey guys!! I KNOW, I KNOW! i promised an update on Friday.. but this chapter was kicking my ass. LOL. I revised it and re-edit it about three times before I just decided to let it go, and let you guys be the judges

I had a really hard time with this chapter- and you can tell- I hope I got all the emotions across.

I hope you like it and whatever feedback you have I would greatly appreciate it!! I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, typos or anything you might encounter, but I do hope you haven't given up on me and are still reading!

Love y'all!!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED CHARACTERS.

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**August 2014 **

Edward waited for Alice to pick up her cell phone while sorting out the rest of the mail on his kitchen counter. It was Saturday morning, and he had the day off, he would be back in rotation tomorrow afternoon and would work all week until Tanya came by on Thursday.

She had called earlier, giving him the details of her flight and letting him know there should be a package for Alice in her mail. After a brief conversation he got his mail and came back up to his apartment. After a few moments Alice finally picked up her phone.

"Hey," Alice's perky voice greeted him.

"Hey, its me. Tanya sent you a package, why don't you come by and pick it up then we can have some lunch?" He asked, eyeing the sad contents of his refrigerator.

There was a slight pause before Alice replied hesitantly, "I'm actually with Bella."

Edward's eyes widened at the response. "Oh, well why don't you bring her over?" he asked without thinking. He was thankful they couldn't see the slight panic that arose after he heard himself.

He faintly heard Alice ask Bella if it was okay, he strained to hear a response but he only got Alice's voice. "Okay, we'll be right there," she said before the line went dead.

"Fuck," Edward cursed, immediately getting to the task of straitening up his apartment.

It wasn't overly messy, but it wasn't clean either. Going around his living room he picked up the various scattered dishes and cleaned the dinning table from the medical journals, papers and random magazines.

Back in the kitchen, he quickly washed the dishes and tried not to think of Bella coming into his home. The moment he set the last dish on the dishwasher the buzzer called him. He walked to the front entrance, hit the speaker and realized he was still wearing his pajamas.

Stifling a curse, he cleared his throat. "Hey, just come on up," he said into the device.

"Okay," his sister's cheery voice replied.

Edward pressed the button for the main door for a moment, then opened his front door so they could just walk in. He went back to the kitchen, started the dishwasher and headed to his bedroom. Just before he could get in he heard them open the door.

"Edward?" Alice called.

"I'm just gonna take a shower, I won't take long," he yelled, embarrassed but adamant about being presentable once he saw Bella.

Back in the living room Alice huffed in annoyance while Bella lingered near the door, taking in every detail of Edward's apartment. The front entrance lead immediately to the living room- which was a huge open space- big enough to fit a dinning table, two couches on the side in front of a big plasma screen- which was poised in one wall, while the other had a big bookcase, and on the far end a black baby grand piano was set in front of the glass wall that showed a perfect view of Seattle. It was gorgeous, Bella was completely enthralled by the piano, smiling as she imagined Edward playing the music she loved and still remembered.

"Come in, Bella, looks like we might be here a while," Alice sighed, motioning her to take a seat.

"Would you like something to drink?" Alice asked, as Bella approached her.

"Water would be good," Bella replied. Alice nodded heading to the kitchen through one of the hallways.

Bella looked around the room. She settled her purse in one of the couches and walked over to the piano. Sitting down on the little bench, she lovingly stroked the keys; warm memories of Edward's melodies coming to the forefront of her thoughts.

With a sad smile, her lithe fingers started playing the only simple intro she ever learned form him.

**June 2005**

Bella played the same note over and over again, watching Edward smirk out of the corner of her eye. Soon enough, his fingers joined in and continued playing the complex notes that followed the intro.

"Show off." Bella kept her simple playing of the three notes she learned over again. Amazingly enough, the soft tunes complemented Edward's fast fingers.

When the song ended- the last tune echoing through the Cullen's living room- Edward leaned in to place a soft kiss on Bella's lips.

"Okay, okay, stop!" Alice bellowed, her tiny footsteps coming down the stairs.

Edward groaned while Bella rolled her eyes, they both pulled away just in time for Alice to squeeze herself between them on the little bench, effectively shoving Edward out of the way.

He quickly stood up, relenting his seat to Alice while muttering something along the lines of 'Annoying pixie' and heading out to the kitchen. Bella just giggled, turning to her best friend and giving her the undivided attention she claimed to deserve.

Alice's mischievous smile was enough to warn Bella she wasn't going to like it. "So… I called the lady who's going to rent us the mantelpieces. I told her about thirty should do it-"

Bella groaned, shaking her head as Alice continued her monologue. She was sick of wedding plans, it seemed it was the only subject everyone around her was interested in speaking off.

To make matters worse, it seemed almost every aspect of the wedding was met by deep hesitation from Bella and annoying enthusiasm by Alice. The two best friends found themselves struggling to find middle ground on the subject. While Alice tried her best to make the event as 'memorable' as she could for her brother and her best friend, Bella was at a constant standpoint between what she wanted, and what everyone expected of her.

It became increasingly hard to fight off any of Alice or Esme's ideas. She knew they meant well as they liked to constantly remind her 'You only get married once,' thus the reason of Bella's constant loses when it came to wedding details.

Last week had been a turning point on Bella's struggle. Edward and Bella had been talking about the actual size of the party while making a guest list. What Bella had hoped could be an intimate just family event ended up being a full-blown circus.

The Cullen's were well loved in the community; Carlisle was an esteemed surgeon, Esme did tons of community work; even Bella's father, Charlie, was well known for his job at the Forks Police Department. With Forks being such a small town everyone already knew about the engagement, and before Edward and Bella knew it the guest list has spawn to three hundred guests -which Esme insisted she could fit into the enormous garden on their property.

After Bella dejectedly agreed to the size of the party, she basically washed off her hands of any more wedding planning. She concluded that following along with Esme and Alice would be the best thing to do, she still hadn't talked to Renee, so she had no one else to offer their opinion on wedding details.

"I'm picking up the invitations tomorrow. You get off at two, right?" Alice asked.

Bella snapped her attention back to her maid of honor's ramble. "Yeah," she simply replied.

"Perfect! Come by after work and we can start mailing them." Alice clapped happily, standing up from the chair and flipping through the wedding planner once more. "Now, we get to do the best part," she continued, jumping up and down.

Bella raised and eyebrow. "I thought every little detail was equally important," she teased.

"Aw, but this is no little detail…" Alice trailed off.

Bella let herself smile, getting on board. "My dress?"

Alice nodded and Bella let herself get excited for once. If there was one thing she was looking forward to, was seeing Edward's reaction as she walked down the aisle. That image was the only thing that made her push herself to accept every crazy detail.

"I never thought I'd see you excited at the concept of shopping," Alice said, pulling her from the chair and hugging her fiercely.

"What are you so excited about?" Edward called coming into the room once again, two bottles of water in his hand.

"Girl stuff," Alice said, taking the water.

Bella laughed, letting Alice go and turning to Edward. "I better get going, I have the morning shift tomorrow."

Bella hugged Alice and took Edward's hand. He gave it a chaste kiss before leading her to the garage where her old truck was parked.

For the most part Edward had been supportive of everything, yet a little uninvolved with planning. He had been a little displeased by his family pushing their views on what was supposed to be his and his fiance's decisions but he learned to keep quiet. Once or twice, he noticed Bella's uncomfortable expressions. However, whenever he tried to talk to her about it she always dismissed the claims. He figured she would speak up if there was something that really bothered her.

Edward opened the door for Bella, grabbed her waist and pulled her up to the drivers seat facing him. Bella giggled and squirmed under his touch.

"Call me when you get home; I want to know you got there safe," Edward said.

Bella rolled her eyes playfully. "I will," she said, leaning in and kissing him lightly. She felt him smiled under her lips.

"I'll miss you tomorrow," he sighed.

"Me too, but I'll probably still be here by the time you get back." Bella shrugged. Edward gave her a questioning look.

"We're mailing the invitations tomorrow, I would guess its going to take all day," she yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh," Edward simply replied. Now that Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were back, his brothers wanted to go to Seattle for a Mariners game. "I could stay and help you if you want."

Bella shook her head. "We got it covered."

Although she wanted to ask him to stay, she knew he was looking forward to the game. Lately, it seemed they got to spend less time together. Bella was working full time at Newton's now, because she wanted to save up as much money as she could for college. Edward had been studying non-stop all summer, since he was getting into a special fast-track program at Dartmouth.

Because of their different responsibilities and the hassles of wedding planning they got to spend less time together than when they were at school. Nevertheless, they would always try to find at least a little alone time. Today's random 'piano lesson' was a perfect example of that.

Edward nodded, conflicted by his guilt of leaving her alone and his desire to go to the game.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Bella finally said, giving him one last kiss before turning to the wheel.

"Be safe," he replied shutting the truck's door and stepping away.

It took Bella three tries to get the truck started, making Edward chuckle at the antique. Bella glared at him, and pulled away.

**

The next day, Bella was in a foul mood. She had gotten her period this morning, she was cramping, her cell phone was missing, and she had forgotten to set the alarm clock.

Running out of her house she realized she was going to be late for her shift. She got into her truck and turned the key only to find the truck was not cooperating with her morning. By the fifth time she tried to start the truck she gave up, it just wasn't responding.

She quickly went back inside and called Mrs. Newton to let her know she was having car trouble and wouldn't be able to make it today; afterwards she called her dad to let him know about it.

"How long has it been acting up?" Charlie said from the phone.

"About a week. It usually starts up after the second time," Bella said, frustrated.

"I'll be there in a bit," her father replied.

Twenty minutes later, Charlie's cruiser pulled up to their driveway. Bella was already waiting for him in the porch.

"Okay, lets take a look," he said rolling up his sleeves.

Bella watched, her arms crossed, as Charlie opened the hood and checked the engine. After poking around a little bit, Bella noticed her father's frown going deeper.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I thought it might be the battery." He shook his head. "But I'm afraid it just gave out, kid," he said, giving her an apologetic smile.

Bella groaned, rubbing her face with her hands. "There's nothing we can do?" she asked, her voice muffled by her hands.

"We can check with a mechanic if you want," Charlie suggested.

A light bulb went off in Bella's head. "Jake," she replied excitedly, "he can fix it!"

Charlie checked his watch. "Well, we can toll this up to La Push if you want. But I need to get back soon."

Bella nodded, sprinting toward the house and giving Jake a call. After she explained the situation, he gladly agreed to help. Faith surged inside her, she loved her truck; she knew it was stupid since it was already decided the truck needed to stay behind when she moved for college, but she just wasn't ready to part with it yet.

By the time they got to La Push, Jake had already opened the door to the back shed where he kept his shop; he was waiting for them outside.

Bella hoped out of the truck and ran towards Jake, while Charlie disengaged the thick chains they had used to toll it.

"Thanks for doing this," she said, hugging him tightly.

Jacob wasn't expecting the sudden contact. He quickly composed himself and hugged her back, feeling like an ass for enjoying the way her every curve was pressing against him.

"It's no problem," he said, awkwardly letting her go.

"Mind giving me a hand?" Charlie called; they could tell he was impatient to get back to the police station.

Bella watched as Charlie and Jacob pushed her truck into the garage, trying very hard not to giggle at the grunts and huffs. Once the truck was inside, Charlie hovered until Jake assured Charlie he would drive Bella home if they couldn't it. Content with the idea, he left.

"So, how have you been… haven't seen you around lately," Jake asked, while he moved around the garage picking up random tools.

"I know, sorry," Bella said, feeling awfully guilty. She realized she had been neglecting a lot of things lately. "I'm working fulltime now… and you know," she trailed off.

Jacob grunted in acknowledgement, taking out a few parts from the engine. Bella sat on the dusty table in the corner, watching as Jacob poked around the inside of her truck.

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke up. "So, wedding got you busy?" he asked, stepping back and wiping his greasy hands with a cloth.

Bella groaned. "You have no idea."

Jacob walked over the cooler he kept on the garage, after a retrieving two cokes he went over to Bella and sat down beside her, offering her one of the cans.

"Why don't you sound as happy as my 'bridezilla sister' did when she got married?" He took a big swig of the drink, trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

He knew from the hug that Bella wasn't feeling that good. She never opted for too much physical displays- unless she was with Edward- so the fact that she needed comfort this morning raised a flag with him.

Bella bit her lip, thinking over her response.

Jacob nudged her, trying to ease her anxious expression. "You getting cold feet?" he teased.

Bella rolled her eyes and nudged him back. "No," she laughed.

"Then why do you look so out of if?" he pressed.

"I'm not-" Bella tried to defend herself but immediately stopped when Jacob gave her a look that specifically said 'cut the bullshit'.

She took a deep breath, palming the cold can she still hadn't opened.

_You can tell him. _ A voice prompted in her head.

"I hate wedding planning," she said, letting out a big breath of release.

"I just don't see what the big deal is! Every little fucking detail counts, and I'm supposed to have an opinion about everything, the color scheme, the place settings, the invitations, the menu, the cake, the party favors… Little things that I don't give a shit about." Anger glazed her tone.

Bella looked straight ahead, she knew she was rambling but now that she started she couldn't seem to stop.

"It's like this big circus, and I'm the main attraction… It just feels like I'm setting myself up to be gawked at by a number of strange people who really don't believe my marriage is going to work." She felt tears on her eyes, and glance up to see Jacob's concerned expression.

"Do you know what I really wanted?" she asked rhetorically. "I wanted to go down to city hall, just Edward and I, get married then come back and share the day with the people I loved… you, Renee, my dad and the Cullens, that's it." She sniffed, dabbing her eyes before the tears started falling. "Instead, its this huge event that I get to share with almost three-hundred strangers."

Jacob patted her back awkwardly while she rambled, then when she was finally finished she dabbed her eyes, tears of frustration falling without her permission. He self-consciously wrapped his arms around her, then and forgot about the awkwardness when she settled her face against his shoulder and took a few calming breaths.

After a few moments, Bella pulled back. Her face deep red -completely embarrassed about breaking down in front of Jacob.

"Sorry," she said, her voice still thick with emotion.

"Don't be," he said.

Bella nodded, opening the coke and drinking just to have something to do. Jacob considered pushing the subject, he was obviously uncomfortable with it; nevertheless he didn't want her wallowing.

"Have you talked to him?" he asked, hesitant to know the answer.

Bella looked shocked at the implication. "You haven't," he said more a statement than a question.

"Bells-" Jacob warned but Bella cut him off.

"Everything is fine, Jake! It's not that bad actually…." Bella paused when she saw Jacob's unbelieving eyes. "Look, can we talk about something else?"

He scrutinized her expression for a moment then decided to just let her be. "Suit yourself."

"About my truck," she pried, looking up at him with a pout.

Jacob laughed hopping off the table and going over to the hood. He motioned her to join him. Bella complied and Jacob started to explain just exactly what had happened to her old truck. He said that was the main problem he had to work on before Charlie bought it, and that he had explained to the Chief the arrangement would eventually give out.

"So… no hope?" Bella asked, palming the side of her truck lovingly.

"Sorry, Bells." He wished there was more he could do or say, he felt so fucking impotent seeing her completely devastated.

She seemed so happy when she told him Edward had proposed, that he bit back any nasty comments or retorts. He kept up with his promise to just let her be happy, but now, seeing her completely lost and frustrated made him rethink the whole 'staying away' part.

"Black!" someone shouted from outside.

Jacob and Bella followed the voice with curiosity. It was Leah Clearwater, she was leaning against her father's truck, an annoyed expression perched on her face.

"Hey," Jacob said going out to the driveway, Bella tagged along.

"Are you deaf? I've been yelling for a while," Leah smirked.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Leah?"

"Hey, Bella," Leah said ignoring Jacob's tone.

"Hi," Bella replied cheerfully; she was cool with Leah, but she was a little too harsh for Jacob's taste. "How's your Dad?" she asked.

Harry Clearwater had been in a motorcycle accident about two weeks ago. He had broken his leg and was now recovering from surgery.

Leah sighed, shaking her head. "Good, leg's healing. But my Mom said that the bikes have got to go, so…" Leah trailed off, leading them to the back cargo where two old bikes were strapped in.

"Mom says you can have them for free as long as you promise not to give them back to my Dad or Seth," Leah said to Jacob.

Jacob looked from the bikes to Leah, completely taken aback. "What am I going to do with them?" he asked, he didn't want to be in that position.

Leah shrugged. "Hell if I know, take them apart… use the pieces. There not really working."

Jacob was appalled at the idea. "I can't even use the pieces. There not compatible with my car."

"Look, all I know is I have to get rid of them, and Mom doesn't want to sell them cause my Dad would just get them back."

"I'll take them," Bella piped in; Leah and Jacob turned to look at her with bewilderment.

"What? Are you insane!" Jacob bellowed.

"Works for me," Leah said, hoping into the truck and unlatching the bikes.

"No, Leah-" Jacob moved to stop her, but Bella caught his arm.

"I want them. I need a new vehicle, remember?" Bella said, as if it was the most obvious solution.

Jacob opened his mouth to argue but Bella cut him off. "Please, Jake. I'll pay you to fix them," she begged.

"Bella, you don't even know how to drive them," he tried to reason.

"You can teach me," she said matter-of-factly.

Bella saw his hesitation and tugged his arm again. "Please, Jake." She pouted, trying to imitate Alice.

She would miss her truck immensely, but there was really no reason to try to fix it now if she was leaving town in less that two months. Bella realized she could take the bike with her to New Hampshire, and furthermore getting the bike and learning to ride felt like a step forward for her. A perfect way to gain control of at least one thing in her life, the one thing she actually wanted and decided by herself.

Jacob's walls were instantly taken down by Bella's pleas; he realized there would be hell to pay when the Chief found out where she got the bike, but if this was the only thing he could give her at the moment, he would do it without hesitation.

"Fine! But I'm pleading the fifth when Charlie finds out," he said, a scold set on his face.

Bella grinned from ear to ear, making Jacob's scold melt into an easy smile. She resisted the urge to squeal like a girl, but Jacob could sense her giddiness.

"Wanna help!" Leah whined from the cargo.

Jacob rolled his eyes and went over to her. "Sure, sure."

Bella watched as Jacob bickered with Leah. After Leah she left- thanking them for taking the bikes- Bella rolled the bikes into the garage and sat down to help Jacob assess what she would need to buy to fix them.

They spent the whole day hanging out in the garage, talking, laughing and cleaning up the parts that Jake could reuse. Bella couldn't remember the last time she had felt so carefree and relaxed.

She looked over at Jacob as he tried to explain the values of a good engine and noticed, perhaps for the first time, just how incredibly handsome Jacob was. He had cut his long hair into a short spiky style, claiming it was easier to handle, and it instantly drew attention to his masculine features. He was tall and strong enough to probably lift her without any hassle. Sure, he could never compare to Edward's perfection- at least in Bella's eyes- but she had to admit her best friend was hot.

More than that, he was kind, funny, compassionate, and very easy to get along with. Bella wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend. Although she heard from Embry and Quil that a few girls from the reservation were after him, she never heard Jacob say he was interested in anymore.

_Probably for the best… Jake deserves a really great girl. _Bella thought to herself, immediately taken aback by the erratic reflection.

She tried to imagine a random girl hanging from Jacob's arms, and realized she couldn't quite picture it. She listed all the women she knew from the reservation and Forks, and found she really couldn't imagine any of them looking good alongside Jacob. Furthermore, if Bella was completely honest with herself she realized a slight twinge of jealousy set on the pit of her stomach.

Bella blushed profusely as she realized what she had just admitted to herself. To her outmost embarrassment, Jacob didn't skip a beat.

"Why are you blushing?" he asked, confused.

"I'm not!" she huffed, looking down at the wrench in her hands as if was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Come on, spill!" he said, poking her ribs.

"Jake, stop." Bella squirmed to get away, laughing erratically when he managed to tickle her. "Fine, I'll tell you," she yelled.

"I was thinking of who could be your date for the wedding," she half-lied.

Jacob looked at her like she had just grown two heads. "Why would that make you blush?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Bella bit her lip, thinking her words carefully. "Well, you know… I just wanted to make sure she's a good girl," she tried to say nonchalantly.

She glanced at him, just in time to see the smirk appear on his face. "Jealous, Swan?" he asked, enjoying the teasing way too much.

Bella huffed. "Sure, Jake, whatever you say." The blush burned her cheeks, she turned away hoping to hide it.

"Awe, come on, Bells," he said grabbing her arm and turning her back, "You know you are my number one girl."

His eyes widened as he realized what he had just admitted, his own blush made an appearance as he tried to mend his statement.

"Besides, I'm waiting to see what I score at your wedding… lots of hot seniors there, right?" he added lamely.

Bella snorted giving him a glare. She tried to dismiss his words; yet, she knew they had a heavier meaning than he meant to give.

"Sure," she said.

Just then, Bella remembered she had a date with Alice earlier today. "What time is it?!" he asked in a panic.

Jacob glanced at his wall clock, noting how Bella jumped to her feet. "Seven thirty."

"Shit!" she yelped.

She was supposed to meet Alice at two, so that made her almost six hours late. She had lost track of time and since her cell phone was nowhere to be seen she had no idea if she had been trying to contact her.

"Can I use your phone?" she asked.

"Sure. What-" Jacob tried to ask, but he wasn't fast enough. Bella sprinted to his house.

As soon as they were in, Bella pounced on the phone and quickly dialed the familiar number.

"Bella?" Alice's voice answered.

"Ali, I'm soo sorry-" Bella tried to explain, but a shuffle in the phone then a deep, velvety voice interrupted her.

"Are you okay? Where are you?" Edward asked frantically.

"What are you doing home?" Bella asked, distracted from the main conversation.

"I stayed behind. Where have you been? You left your cell phone here last night… I called Newton's and-"

"My truck gave out today," Bella cut in.

"Where? Don't move, I'm coming to get you," Edward quickly replied.

"No! I'm at Jacob's. He's taking care of it, I just lost track of the time." Bella bit her lip nervously. She waited for Edward to say something but the profound silence told her he wasn't pleased.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. I'm leaving right now," she tried again.

"No, I'll come and get you," Edward said, his tone commanding.

Bella frowned. "That's silly, I'm already at the door. I'll see you there," she promptly said before hanging up, leaving no room for arguments.

Jacob cleared his throat, making her look up. "You need a ride?"

Bella nodded, running a hand through her hair.

Soon enough, they were on the main road to Forks. Jacob was debating with himself, whether it was a good idea to voice his thoughts. He had a strong feeling Bella wasn't happy, that she was just settling to whatever her boyfriend wanted, and that thought made his blood boil. However, seeing Bella's nervous expression told him tonight was not the best time.

"You okay?" he said, as merged out of the freeway.

Bella sighed and nodded giving him a small smile. "You know you can complain to me about shitty wedding stuff whenever you want, right? Or not, we can just talk about anything else besides shitty wedding stuff…" he teased.

Bella laughed a little. "Thanks, Jake."

The tension eased off the atmosphere after that. Before they knew it, Bella was signaling Jacob on the tricky turn to the Cullen's driveway.

Bella immediately noticed the tall figure with bronze hair waiting for her in the middle of the driveway.

"Jesus, impatient much?" Jacob murmured.

Bella took a deep breath, almost brazing herself. "Here is good," she said, they were hallway through.

"Don't be ridiculous, I won't say anything if he doesn't," Jacob scoffed.

"That's what I'm afraid off," Bella murmured almost inaudibly.

Jacob stopped right in front of the main entrance. Before Bella could start saying her goodbyes, Jacob spoke first. "Want me to wait?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I think I can handle it."

He looked over her shoulder to see Edward waiting impatiently a few steps away from his car.

"How about I pick you up this Saturday and we can work on the bikes?" he asked eagerly.

He watched as Bella bit her lip in concentration, thinking it through. "Okay, Saturday is good."

"It's a date!" he said just as Bella opened her door. He swore Edward twitched when he managed to hear his last statement.

"Bye, Jake. Thanks," she said, softly squeezing his forearm before getting out of the car.

Jacob watched as Bella made her way to her boyfriend. Jealousy burning in his heart when he saw Edward grab Bella and pull her to him. He nearly lost it when Edward grabbed Bella's face and roughly claimed her lips, pressing her body even more tightly against his. Jacob swore for a moment Edward's eyes opened- while still kissing Bella- and gave him a pointed look.

"Fucking bastard," Jacob growled.

He made a harsh U-turn and speed off, away from the images of the fucking imbecile holding the woman he loved.

The sound of Jacob's screeching car awoke Bella from the lust-filled haze. She grew furious as she realized what Edward had done. She knew he was going to be pissed the moment she got out of that car, she brazed herself for the subsequent fight. However, when he grabbed her and kissed her, her knees melted as they only did with him and she forgot about her surroundings.

"What is your problem!" she yelled pushing him back.

"My problem?" he matched her tone. "I've been worried sick for five fucking hours! I the called everywhere, fucking Mike Newton had to tell me you never came in to work… your Dad is not at the station, and no one could tell me where you were! I've been here waiting for you while you were out with the _dog_!"

"My truck gave out this morning, I went to Jake because I thought he could fix it," Bella said, lowering her voice, yet her anger was still evident.

"You could have called Rosalie!" he was still yelling.

He couldn't help himself, this morning he had decided he would stay back and help Bella with the invitations. He really didn't mind, lately he felt the whole wedding circus was taking away the time they had together, so he decided to be more actively involved in the process.

He had been fully prepared to spend the evening helping her with the tedious task. However, she never showed up. Edward had been frantic, by five he had called everyone he could think off, when six rolled around he was on hysterics while Alice called the hospital and tried the police station once more.

When Bella finally called, the immense relief he felt was quickly thwarted when he realized she had spent the whole afternoon in La Push with Jacob. He felt stupid for not thinking of that option, but mostly, he was hurt she would forget to even call and let them know what was going on.

"I knew this was about Jacob!" Bella yelled, her anger getting the best of her. "What are you going to do next time? Piss on me?"

"Oh, please don't be ridiculous," he said cruelly.

"I'm sorry, okay? I promise to call next time something like this happens." Bella said, willing the argument to go away.

Edward took a deep breath, crossing his arms. "Okay," he agreed, taking her hand. "Tomorrow, we'll get your truck and Rosalie can have a look," he said, making it more a statement of fact than a suggestion.

"No," Bella replied, harshly yanking her hand out of his. "Jacob is going to fix it, we don't need to bother Rosalie."

"Bella, Rosalie doesn't mind," Edward said, frustrated by her stubbornness.

"Jacob will take care of it," Bella said with finality.

"Why are you so intent in seeing him!" Edward yelled once more, his temper flaring without any control whatsoever.

"He's my friend, Edward! I'm allowed to have friends outside you and your family!" Bella snapped.

"He wants more than that. It is so obvious, how can you be so dense!" He bellowed, trying to make her see his reason.

Bella stood frozen, not thinking of a comeback for his statement. She couldn't think of a time where Edward had been so jealous and controlling. Hell, he almost called her stupid. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she felt her heart break a little, now that she thought about it, she had never fought with Edward like this, ever.

Edward knew the moment the words left him he had stepped over the line. He felt like an ass, clarity finally making its way through the jealous cloud in his mind. In an instant he saw himself through her eyes. He realized just how he manhandled her into a kiss just to prove his power over her to Jacob Black, the thought made him sick.

Before he could start to apologize, Bella turned away and started walking away from him. "No, Bella, please… I'm sorry," Edward said quickly grabbing her arm.

He wished he could just pull her into his arms and beg for her forgiveness, yet, in hindsight the act wouldn't go over very well at this moment.

Bella pulled her arm away but staid put. After wiping the tears away she turned to her fiancé. "I'm sorry too," she said, however her posture was tense, almost as if she was holding herself back.

Edward nodded. He wanted to apologize again but Bella just shook her head and spoke first. "I think I want to go home now," she said in a quiet voice, "Can we do the invitations tomorrow?"

"Don't worry about that, its already done." He took her hand, brining it to his lips and giving her a loving kiss.

Bella gave him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes; Edward felt worse than he already did. "Lets get you home," he said, tugging her over to the garage.

"Actually…" Bella said, shy but determined to get some time to clear her head. "I'm sorry, Edward. Can Alice drive me?"

Edward looked heartbroken. "Yeah… no problem," he said, letting go of her hand and walking over to the house.

Bella stayed behind. She was painfully aware of the hurt in Edward's eyes, yet, she didn't trust herself to stay calm if she spent more time with him. She desperately needed to get home and just forget about this whole argument.

She understood Edward's reaction perfectly; she too, would have been worried sick if he went missing for a whole day. At the same time, she was disappointed in his reaction. They were both at fault, and obviously they would have to address all the insecurities sooner rather than later, yet Bella couldn't help but think 'later' was the best option right now.

**August 2014**

As Bella was playing she noticed the faint dust marks on the piano, and how the tunes sounded a little off. She wondered how long had it been since Edward played, when a deep, velvety voice startled her.

"You still remember?"

Bella jumped at the sound of Edward's voice, almost falling off the bench. She was able to balance herself in time. She carefully turned so her back was to the piano; and took in his form.

He was dressed casually, a simple black shirt, and worn jeans. Bella couldn't help but notice- although still thin- he wasn't as lanky as he had been as a teenager, his torso was a bit wider, his toned pecks and arms noticeable through the thin, short sleeve shirt. His hair was wilder than it had been at the hospital; damp and almost brown, it stood up at odd ends because of the short length. She found herself loving the slight changes in his physique, and even more pleased of the features that stayed the same; his vibrant green eyes, his thin rosy lips, strong chin and crooked smile that made her putty in his hands.

"Sorry, I thought you heard me come in," he said, pulling her out of her reverie.

"Yeah, well you know I'm easily frightened" she laughed, pulling herself up from the chair.

There was an awkward pause before Edward asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Good, I had great doctors," she winked at him.

Edward laughed, his eyes sparkling. "Your view is beautiful," Bella said, looking at his window.

"Thanks, its one of the reasons I got this place." He watched as Bella moved closer to the window.

_Fuck, she looks gorgeous. _

Edward let himself get closer to her, while discretely scanning her form. Her body was so familiar to him, he did notice the slight changes. Her height was the same, apparently she still preferred flats over heals. Her hair was neatly combed and up in high ponytail- the light from the window turned the deep brown tones into reddish hues, just as he always remembered it did.

The differences were evident. The v-neck red sweater she was wearing showed off her slightly bigger breasts, the tight jeans allowed him to see the way her hips filled out. She was still thin, but it was impossible for him not to notice the way her curves made her look more like the woman she was and not the teenager he remembered. He found himself wandering what it would feel like to press his fingers on her hips and pull her so close he would feel the way her breasts pushed against his chest.

Without any thought of the consequences, Edward took a step forward, settling himself mere centimeters from Bella's back. He was so close he could feel the heat emanating from her body. Bella stood frozen as his soapy, amber scent enveloped her. The pleasant shiver through her spine was hard to ignore.

Bella turned her head, her half-lidded eyes matching Edward's lustful ones. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I don't know," he replied with honesty. His hot breath tickling Bella's ear.

Edward saw as Bella licked her bottom lip, transfixing Edward's stare in the process. It was natural for him to lean closer, lowering his head just so his lips were at the same level as hers.

_Just a few inches_. He thought, _Just a few inches and I'll be home_…

"Good you're out. I'm starving, how do you feel about Italian?" Alice said, coming in from the kitchen.

She halted the moment she saw her brother pressed against Bella. Her friends face was flush looking up at him with obvious expectancy.

Edward jumped back at the sound of his sister's voice. _What the fuck am I doing?_ He chastised himself.

Bella was the one who broke the tension. "Italian is fine. Should we get going?" She walked towards her purse, pointedly avoiding any contact with Edward.

She tried to appear as cool as possible, even when her heart was beating so wildly she was afraid they could hear it.

"Okay, lets go," Alice prompted, taking Bella's arm within her own and leading her out of the apartment.

Edward kept quiet he followed them out. Alice walked in between them; it was impossible not to notice how they kept avoiding each other's eyes. She wondered what she could so to make it better, she felt incredibly guilty for interrupting earlier. Hell, she had been feeling guilty since she was nineteen, when she finally realized just how much she had pushed Bella into a wedding she obviously didn't want.

Alice knew it wasn't her place, and she didn't want to pry in a relationship that was very much over. _A little push never hurt anyone did it? _She questioned.

Meanwhile, Edward was still berating himself for his earlier actions. He knew the chemistry between him and Bella was a once in a lifetime kind of deal. In all his years with Tanya, he had never felt the urge to just get near her for the sake of feeling her close. And here he was, less than five minutes with Bella and he was ready to claim her.

_Pull it together, Cullen! Just friends, remember… _

Bella was just as confused as her company. For her, shutting her feelings down had become second nature. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to allow her feelings for Edward to resurface. She was positive, if Alice hadn't interrupted, that they would've kissed. But where would that leave them? She was painfully aware that she wasn't the woman he was committed to. That somewhere out there, a faceless woman had taken her place.

_It was nothing, Bella, I'm sure it will not happen again. _Bella concluded.

"Do you want to take my car?" Edward asked Alice.

Alice looked at Bella, asking wordlessly if it was okay.

Bella nodded, "Sure."

Edward led them to the underground parking garage, where his old Volvo was waiting for them.

"I can't believe you still have it!" Bella said excitedly, her giddiness evident in her smile.

Edward smirked. "She's my baby, I'm never giving her up."

"Awe, you wouldn't want it to feel bad… even if _she_ is not your favorite anymore" Alice chided.

"What?" Bella laughed.

Edward sighed. "That's mine too," he said, pointing to the slick dark gray Ashton Martin parked right next to the Volvo.

Bella's mouth fell open. "You got it?" she asked in awe.

"Told you I would have one some day," Edward said. Bella shook her head and he opened the front door of the Volvo for her.

They drive to the restaurant was spent with Edward and Alice bickering over who was more obsessed with their respective cars. Bella piped in every one and then, instigating the discussion with little comments and giggles.

Lunch was just as entertaining. Edward and Alice shared college stories, while Bella did the same. Certain subjects were obviously avoided, yet it was amazingly easy for the three friends to have just as much fun as they used to.

Before they knew it they'd spent almost three hours in the restaurant. Alice's cell phone ringed, alerting them of the outside world.

Alice answered, nodding a few times. "Okay, I'll be right in."

"Gotta go?" Bella asked.

"I swear the place just falls apart without me," Alice whined.

Edward glared at Alice suspiciously, but otherwise stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Alice pouted, while Edward ordered the check.

"Oh, Ali, don't worry about it." Bella smiled, taking Alice's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I'll make it up to you this week."

Bella waived her hand dismissively, and excused herself to the restroom. After Alice made sure Bella was at a distance where she wouldn't hear her, she quickly turned to Edward.

"Give me your keys," she commanded.

"What?" Edward gave her a perplexed look.

"Let me take your Volvo so you and Bella can have a little more time together," Alice whispered, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I knew your call was fake!"

"No it wasn't! I really have to go. Why not make the best of it." She shrugged.

"Alice," Edward warned.

"What? Like you don't want to… I saw you Edward, please don't fight it," she pleaded.

"This isn't right!"

"You're not doing anything wrong, just spending an evening with a friend." Alice knew she was stretching it out a little too much, but she could sense Edward's resolve caving.

"Fine, but only if Bella wants to stay," Edward said with a sigh.

Alice beamed at her victory. No soon did Edward agree, when Bella made her way back to the table.

"Bella, the check is not here yet and I really have to go… Would you mind getting back with Edward in a cab? I really am so, so sorry." Alice asked, remorse in her tone.

Bella was a little taken aback by the sudden change in plans. She guessed Alice was behind it, and wondered if Edward was forced into her little arrangement. She gave a quick glance to Edward, who was patiently waiting for an answer.

She hesitated for a moment, before going out in a limb and accepting Alice's deviant plan. "All right, if its okay with you, Edward," she said shyly.

"It's fine by me," Edward said coolly. He couldn't deny he wanted to spend more time with her, but he wasn't about to make a fool of himself.

"Great!" Alice cheered, scrambling to get up.

Bella and Edward said their goodbyes, and Alice left giving a silent prayer everything would be fine.

The waitress came by with the check a few minutes later. They paid for their meal- or rather, Edward did after a quick argument with Bella- and walked away from the restaurant. They were downtown, in one of the busiest sections of Seattle.

"Do you mind if we walked for a bit? It such a nice day," Bella said, looking up at the sunny sky.

"Not at all," Edward said.

They walked side by side, looking at their surroundings in silence. Occasionally, they would stop at a window display and comment on the contents inside. By the time they passed all the specialty shops, they felt comfortable enough to just walk beside each other without the need of small talk.

Nevertheless, Edward's curiosity for Bella got the best of him. "Are you taking some time off work?" he asked, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm actually sort of quitting," Bella said.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Bella shrugged. "I'm just done with that part of my life. To be honest I'm more of a manager than I writer, and that's not where I wanted to end up."

Edward nodded. "So, what's next?"

He immediately noticed the way she bit her lip, her expression full of insecurity. "You don't have to tell me… I didn't mean to pry-"

"No, its fine… Its just a little embarrassing," she said, with honesty. "I… want to write. A novel, actually."

"That's great!" Edward said with enthusiasm.

Bella laughed. "It is… yeah. A bit terrifying, to be honest, but I am looking forward to it."

"Any ideas of what you want to write about?"

"I have a few unfinished drafts from college that I might develop… but lately I've had an idea in my head that I just can't get rid of." Bella said looking up at his inquisitive gaze. "Romance," she added.

"No surprised there," Edward teased.

"What do you mean?"

"Austen, Bronte, Shakespeare," Edward listed, "Love, you have always been a romantic, I never expected that to change."

Bella decided to ignore the 'Love' in his sentence. He had always called her that, it shouldn't surprise her just how naturally it came from his lips.

"I do enjoy other genres," Bella defended. "I would let you know, one of my proposals is actually a crime piece," she huffed.

Edward smirked. "Just promise you'll sing a copy of your first edition."

"Sure," Bella rolled her eyes playfully.

"What about you?" Bella asked, stopping by a bench.

"What do you mean?" He said sitting down beside her.

"Alice mentioned New York might be in your future." She didn't know why she asked, perhaps, a masochist part in herself that needed to know more about his mystery girlfriend.

Edward frowned. "That is not decided at all," he said tightly.

Bella offered no comment, recognizing that Edward was not comfortable with the conversation at all. She was surprised when Edward spoke again.

"I guess New York _is _a possibility. But, if I had _my _way I would stay in Seattle."

Bella nodded, regretting her question. She decided to change the subject. "Can I ask you something?"

Edward nodded, leaning back against the bench. "Do you play anymore?" she asked.

Edward's surprised expression made her stumble in her words. "I just noticed the piano sounded a little off this morning, like it wasn't tuned… I'm sorry, that was rude of me, I shouldn't have even played it-"

"Its okay." He sighed. "You're right, I've been neglecting my piano. To be completely honest I haven't played in a very long time."

_No reason to tell her I haven't played since we broke up. _

Bella frowned deeply. "That's a shame," she mumbled. "I always loved to hear you play."

"What can I say? I've been busy," he said apologetically.

Bella gave him a smile. "I know that." She winked at him.

They moved on to lighter topics, before the light drizzle of rain interrupted their conversation. The quickly stood up and looked for a taxi. Luckily, they found an available one in the next intersection.

They decided to drive to her place first. Edward noticed Bella lived in a very nice building that wasn't that far from where he lived, he quickly memorized the address, just in case he ever needed it.

"This is me," Bella said, just as the cabbie pulled up at the entrance of her building. "Today was fun."

"It was," Edward agreed.

Just as Bella was about to get out, Edward grabbed her arm. "Would you like to get together, again?"

Bella blinked a few times. "Sure!" she beamed. "Give me your cell phone." She took his phone and quickly programmed hers.

"Thanks, Bella," he said.

Bella smiled handing him back the phone. "Bye, Edward." Not wanting to make thing awkward she quickly hoped out of the car and into her building.

As the cab pulled away Edward found himself replaying every single detail of the evening, he didn't notice the full smile on his face until he got home. He wondered how long he would have before Alice would call him asking for details, or worse, how long he had before Tanya's nightly call.

It was weird how a few months ago he couldn't wait until he could hear her voice again; however, it had been a few weeks since Edward had actually felt the urge to talk to his girlfriend. Which in consequence, made him feel completely guilty. Now with Bella's sudden reappearance he found himself questioning his relationship.

As Edward walked around his empty apartment, he pushed back any unpleasant thoughts and tried to distract himself. He noticed how the piano seemed to look bigger than it usually did.

_I loved you hear you play._ Bella's voice echoed in his head.

Without conscious thought Edward sat himself on the little bench. He stroked the ivory keys, wiping off the dusk that lay there. He pressed a few random keys, noting that Bella was right, he had neglected his piano to the point where the tones weren't right. He made a mental note to contact someone who could clean and tune it.

After stalling long enough, Edward returned his hands to position, took a deep breath and started playing. The melody sounded off and his fingers felt stiff. But playing felt strangely comforting. As he got reacquainted with the composition, each stroke became easier and sharper. He played it over and over again, cursing every time he missed a noted, pausing when he couldn't seem to remember what went next.

It took him about an hour to get it right. In the end, he played the whole piece the way he remembered it.

The only melody he had been thinking about since he got home… Bella's lullaby.

When the song was over, Edward noticed how the song didn't feel right. Once upon a time, the lullaby had been the song he had been most proud of. Now, listening to the melody Edward knew it just wasn't right, it seemed incomplete.

Just like his relationship with Bella, the lullaby was not finished.

* * *

Thoughts?


	14. I'm sorry

**ANNOUNCEMENT: FOREVER IS WHERE WE MEET ON HIATUS!**

Yes, yes I really have tears in my eyes as I write this, but I feel like I owe you guys an explanation. I started this story a very very long time ago and I feel like I've lost track of what I set out to do. So much has happened in the past year that I can say that my life is nothing like what drove me to write that particular story, and that has been the reason why writing has been so sporadic. However, the initial outline is still intact, I just have to find the will to write it. That being said I have to emphasize:

**I AM NOT ABANDONING THE STORY! **

But I do want to let you guys know that I will not be updating any time soon. I have decided after spending more than 2 months working on the same chapter to finish the story before I update again. So here is the deal: I will continue to write the story and edit it, and once I am done writing the complete story I will update ALL the chapters a week apart from each other.

I know you're probably wondering.. "Well why are you telling us this? Why not just update?"

Well I just wanted to give you guys and update and tell you what was going on, and tell you that I appreciate every review and PM about this story. I really hope you guys don't give up on me, leave Forever is where we meet on your alerts list, and you wont regret it when I have everything done.

Thanks guys and Happy Holidays!

XOXO

-kARLA

PS. Please do not review this AN. I will replace this with the chapter when I have everything written.


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